we talked about everthing, and I mean everything. But for the past few months things have went from talking about everything to, I can not talk about it or she just avoids converstion. This all started when she broke up with her boyfriend and moved out of state. When she moved I found out that I was getting blamed for everything she did and how she did it. Mainly because a few months before she moved away I had left my husband, so It was made ( by everyone else) like I influenced her. It was also said that I knew about her plans and told her boyfriend about them. I NEVER did such a thing, I spoke with her and she did not believe me!! I later found out who did tell her ex-boyfriend her plans, but I never told her who it was. Should I tell her or should I just leave things the way they are and move on?
2007-06-18 03:02:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Both, Tell her who actually told her exboyfriend and then tell her that you are sad to have your long time friendship wasted over all this and then MOVE ON.....she sounds like she is cleaning house and running from her mistakes...so let her go.
2007-06-18 03:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by geminijeanna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really totally up to you. If you really value the friendship, then go ahead and make an effort to defend yourself. Will it help? Probably not, but when you do talk to her, note this: what evidence is there that suggests that you did anything wrong? Your friend is upset. She is likely not seeing things clearly. Supply her with the facts, and hopefully her logic will override her emotions. Be supportive and fair to her, and she should react in kind.
That said, friendships sometimes last forever, but often they do not.... even friendships that have been around "practically all your life." If it is not worth it to you to go through all this trouble, then don't feel guilty. Perhaps it IS time to move on. If your friendship were all that strong, your friend would believe you. It is not necessarily a bad reflection on you OR your friend. It just happens. Whether or not it is worth pursuing further depends on your desire to try to preserve this friendship, in relation to your desire to preserve yourself.
Finally, if nothing else, you might just consider waiting awhile to give her some time to think and get over her current issues. Sometimes time will wipe things clean, so if you are uncertain, you might consider waiting a few weeks and THEN calling her. Regardless of what you do, think about it carefully, do what you think is right, and go from there. That is all you can do. Good luck!
2007-06-18 10:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you can do is write a letter. tell her you're sorry that things have go so messed up between you and you want to tell her your side of the story. then tell her from the start what went on and who said what. But dont try to make yourself look innocent - she may think you're lying. but make it clear that it was not your intention to influence her. if the friendship is really worth saving then she'll be back in touch. But be honest, and tell her everything!
2007-06-18 10:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by tspoonteddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the club, This kind of thing happens in every friendship. Do not just tell her. Wright her or call and talk with her the way you did before .If you have a problem tell her and then work the subj in. She was you best Friend and you heir's don't lose that remember For every action there is a reaction . Good luck
2007-06-18 10:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by Al S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell your friend who is really responsible for all this mess because this is not worth it to ruin such a great friendship because of rumors and secrets. If i were you, i would have tried everything to keep her. Maybe you should go to her place and spend a real time with her in order to fix it up things between you.
Don't give up please, you'll have regrets in a year or two when yu'll think about it.
Good luck !
ps: sorry for grammar or vocabulary, i'm french ;-S
2007-06-18 10:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by Pauline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her who really told her ex-boyfriend her plans, if she is a true friend then she will believe you and beg you to forgive her. If she doesn't believe you and beg you to forgive her, then move on and forget about her. There are some people in this world that are true friends and others that just pretend to be friends until they decide they don't need you any more.
2007-06-18 10:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by Wolfmanscott 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's that important of a friend, you should talk to her about the situation, but not tell her who said anything, unless you have to. The two of you should try to move on as friends and leave the past alone, especially all the he said-she said crap.
If you're as an important friend to her as she is to you, she'll agree to forget about it and keep being your friend.
2007-06-18 10:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by JP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump her that's not a good friend at all. If she was a true friend she would at least listen to you. Nope, no good, move on.Sounds like, life has been difficult enough for you lately you don't need extra grief or heart ache. Good luck concentrate on your own life.
2007-06-18 10:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by deb m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your trying to keep your friendship together then try all you can and give it your hardest to save it and keep it going........... but if she's acting all stuck up and doesn't want to be botherd then just move on with your life sometimes things come to an end and things don't always come out the way you want them too!!! God Bless..always follow God...... and always follow your heart!!!
2007-06-18 10:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space right now to think about what's going on in her love life!!always be there for you, when she's approaches you in her own way!!!Don't rush things right now!!!!If she was a true best friend, your relationship w/ her, will work itself out for the best!!!I've been there also, Don't give up on your sincere friendship, give your heartache right now to God, he'll take care of the rest, if you give him all your heartache!!!Good Luck girl!!!
2007-06-18 10:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋