Jus had a massive argument with d boyf. He went thru my mobile phone messages n found a txt message from an ex of mine who txted me a couple of wks ago. He's a mate of mine n it was an innocent txt askin how i was. I had replied saying i was fine n he had txted another ab a football game that had been on tv. Completely innocent. His argument was that i had replied to it.
My question to u is; is he wrong for goin thru my phone or am i in the wrong for replying to a mate???
Grateful for replys he was fuming n im afraid i might lose him but i feel hurt he never trusted me n went thru my phone in the first place. Thanx x x x
2007-06-18 02:15:20 · 20 answers · asked by Dolly 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i would have responded to the text as long as it was platonic...thats it. why was he going through your phone in the first place? that would make me wonder...but you should let him know from now on, if someone from your past (an ex) sends you a text, bring it up in conversation somehow...he will feel much better with you telling him, and maybe then, he wont have a reason to go in your phone...oh, erase those messages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they will get you...
2007-06-18 02:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest with yourself here - why did you keep the text if he was now only a mate' - that would upset me in the first place before the fact that me guy had gone through the phone - perhaps you still have feelings. Dont act rashionally as he infact could be now looking elsewhere - just sit down and tell him why you kept the ex text and then calmly ask him why he went through your phone - if you have nothing to hide it should not matter that much if you are in an honest and open relationship.
2007-06-18 05:21:19 · answer #2 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter if it was innocent or not it is still hurtful to see someones ex on a phone. You both were in the wrong. I would say to let it go this time since neither one of you were right with your actions. Why would you be hurt that he is upset about the trust you have. Because you weren't being trustful. It is very hurtful to people when they know you are speaking with an ex. I make it clear to my fiance that he can look through my phone whenever he wants because of this he does not have a urge of curiosity to look through it. I think it is common for people to be curious about things that are not available to them.
2007-06-18 02:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am in the SAME situation only reversed, and it's killing me inside.. I have a question posted under "Advice - Help Me!?" if you want to read it... Anyway... looking through your phone is WRONG... but, like I said, that is what I'm guilty of, but only after knowing the same was done to me. People have just been trying to tell me not to start a fight over something that may or may not be. If your bf has always be honest in the past, just let it go. You could try explaining that to him... but I know how explaining feelings can go. My best advice is to just try and not to let it get to either of you. The one thing that gets me by is knowing that I had been in contact in the past with an ex... so maybe it's just a phase, though it's not right, just make sure you both know what it is your not comfortable with.
2007-06-18 02:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should never have gone through your phone in the first place.
That is a violation of your rights. If he is only a friend he should understand that you need to talk to your friends - even if he is an ex-boyfriend.
He should grow up and act more like an adult and should definitely have not argued with you for doing something you are perfectly in the right to do.
You have done nothing wrong.
2007-06-18 03:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by rafena 1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to communicate woth your ex raises questions - same male or female - if yuo are close what is the harm in him reading some of your texts? he may jus have been bored and the fone infront of him and thought he may have been able to keep up with you life better ... god knows (but I find it better to look for positive reasons - as I try to act with positivity) ...
the questions rasied by commuicating with an ex ar destroyed by be being given the questions and the answers ... left to find the questions tho .... is to leave to find the answers - that does make some one insecure in a relationship.
how exclusive was your relationship? if so there shouldnt have been too much of a prob with him reading them
Does he have probs with talkng with men flat out? or is that you were discussing with your ex?
Are you very flirty with other men? even if you describe it as being friendly - this may explain the explosion over the ex
there really isnt much to go on here, things are quite one sided - and in my experience anything that has two people involved - has two people involved - there is much to the story we cant see. there arent many wrongs or rights as such in such things only feelings and responses. a person can argue and justify almost anything (a rather horrid digression to make my point - those tried for warcrimes have oft proved this, some horrifingly are quite convincing, save for morality)
on a positive note have you considered feeling happy that he has demonstrated a certain collapse of some boundries between you? and thus a desire to be closer to you? and is this something you are comfortable with? if not you may not want to live together. as surely given time this is where it will lead. as you may find (presuming you put the washing ofc) that you now go through his pockets? is this not akin in a number of ways to him readin your texts?
ah the trials and tribulations of life eh?
good luck with it :)
2007-06-18 03:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by Andy C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend was wrong to go through your phone but it shows he doesn't trust you. When you are in a new relationship it is hard to keep en ex as a friend because it can cause jealousy if your boyfriend has insecurities about himself which will lead him into becoming a control freak. It is your decision whether you stick with him and put up with his ways or break up.
2007-06-18 02:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by katiem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Red flag time: regardless of the texting, regardless of the right/wrong issues, this guy doesn't want you communicating with any other guys. Unless you're both teenagers, this is a guy to drop like a rock unless you like running the risk of posting messages here in a couple years asking how to get out of an abusive relationship.
2007-06-18 02:58:16 · answer #8 · answered by John R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was wrong to go through your phone in the hope of catching you up to something - he's obviously got some trust issues in the first place. You haven't done anything wrong - maybe telling him about the text in the first place would have prevented this but does he expect you to tell him about every bit of contact you have with other people? His male pride has been hurt so he's throwing his toys out of the pram, just becuase you happen to be friends with another guy - tell him to stop being so pathetic and get over it!
2007-06-18 02:25:52 · answer #9 · answered by sumaspikey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
in my relationship, we have a rule about telling each other absolutely everything after he hid some texts form his ex. It hurt me so bad when i found out, your bf is prob going thorugh the same thing. I didn't care that my bf was chattin to his ex, it was all very innocent. the thing that hurt me was he kept it from me.
We got through that and now we tell each other everything. Your bf was wrong for snooping, but you shouldn't give him a reason to. When u hide something, its so obvious. You can't keep any secrets in a relationship.
Just apologise and work it out.
We worked it out by me meeting his ex. we got along great! she's now a good friend of mine. :-)
2007-06-18 03:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by *T*I*N*K*E*R*B*E*L*L* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has some doubt in the back of his head to be snooping in the first place.
You have done nought wrong he has got the issues i guess this could just be the start of mistrust.No good for a relationship jealousy is a terrible thing .
2007-06-18 05:06:33 · answer #11 · answered by clutterbuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋