Can a relationship without Passion last?

Question

My BF and I have been together for 10 months, we are both 42 and both never married. In the begining we TOTALLY were in to each other, It was GREAT. We even discussed marriage and a long future together, BUT over the past couple of months I can tell my feelings have changed. His have not, He totally adores me and treats me like a Queen....I doubt I will ever find a man who treats me this well again.....but can I stay in a relationship and get married to someone who I have No desire for physically?
How do I go about telling him this? I don't want to hurt him at all, and I know it will devastate him, which only makes this situation worse!
HELP!!

This Comment is for Angeline: I am a super hot 42 year old, that looks waaay better than most 28 year olds, I am NOT a user, we each treat each other VERY well, He has even told me that he has Never had a woman that treats him as well as I do.
So go F--- your self, you Heffer!

Some of you mentioned that it may just be a problem on my end, Thank you for that...I believe that too. EVERY relationship I get into is the same, tons of hot passion in the begining and then it dies within a year, and I move on to the next....etc.....etc.....so sad!
I don't want to keep doing that!

to Ginny K: if you go back and read my added details, my defensiveness was not directed at you or anyone else, it was strictly directed at ANGELINE because of you nasty and abusive comments.
and Yes I am a very good person, if I wasn't I wouldn't have posted this question at all.

oops I goofed up, I didn't mean to say "you nasty comments" I meant to say her nasty comments! duh! LOL!

Answer 1

NO! And I stress that. I'm married to a pretty nice guy and our passion is gone...it really was never too much passion to begin with. Yet, I still married him because I wanted to be married so badly. So I say to you, be honest with him and tell him exactly how you feel NOW before you both get in too deep. Some people just aren't meant to be together. Just because he treats you the way you want to be treated does not mean he is the one for you. All aspects of the relationship have to be in order....love, passion, a spiritual connection and a physical connection. Trust me, I'm in a passionless marriage and I regret it everyday.

Answer 2

5 years is long enough to know what you both want in life and by the looks of it you are on a different course. You don't say how old you are but you cannot settle for no passion in a relationship (especially if you need it). I would talk it over with him and tell him exactly how you are feeling and believe it or not you might find relief for having done so..No matter what the outcome will be. Communication is the key here and you both need to be truly happy in your lives. The question here is..Do you want to spend your lives like this? If you are asking, then I don't think so.....might be time you reach a decision that will be the best for you both. Keep it honest, without fighting and face what has to be done before it gets too late. Never settle for anything less that brings you total happiness in life..it's much too short for that! Good Luck

Answer 3

The best intimate relationships involve passion. It's wonderful but perhaps not absolutely necessary. Think about this a bit. What is the source of your fear of intimacy? Feelings of desiring intimacy generally develop spontaneously when you feel close to, understood by, and trust a companion. If he's kind, gentle, a good person and can talk with you, I'd bet my bottom dollar there is some fear that is interfering with feelings of closeness (or however you describe intimacy). The best intimate relationships develop when two folks are friends. You might want to find a counselor or therapist who can help if you can't discover the blockage

Answer 4

First of all...ANGELINE...you sound like the b****! Lighten up!

I am 49 and married to second husband for 17 years now. I can relate to you because he has all the passion for me and, though I do love him...the passion for him has dwindled. Since you do question your feelings in this relationship, it is best to go sloooooooooowww! My lack of passion for my husband has everything to do with hormonal changes in me. But there could be many other reasons that one partner feels differently than the other. Why rush into marriage. Just spend time together. You are not obligated to marry this man. Despite that you may hurt his feelings, you can't ignore what YOU feel inside. If you marry him, it will be under false pretenses because you just don't feel the way he does. Really honesty is the best polilcy. Tell him you really don't like hurting him or anyone, but that you just don't feel the same as he does about some things - like being physical. We women are quick to spare hurt to others, but we neglect our own feelings when we do this. Do what is best for you.

Answer 5

There is no way that you will ever feel the same level and intensity of passion that you did when you first met. It's called routine and all relationships experience it. Most people accept it and allow the relationship to deepen, but some people, like yourself, don't comprehend it and can't accept it and consequently go from relationship to relationship in search of more passion. It is only fair to your lover that you at least show him a crumb of respect by being honest with him about your feelings. Good luck finding someone else at 42.

Answer 6

Get Real.

Way to insure that "never married".

Did it ever occur that you have some unrealistic expectations.
You are on the road to lifetime loneliness. Cut his losses and turn him free to find someone who can treat him back the way he treats you. it is apparent that you are incapable of sustained good feelings.

Follow Up, Would your previous question about a woman on the side be YOU? No wonder you cannot find passion for him.
I believe it is impossible to find passion for a guy when one would rather be with a woman. That is why I'm not gay.

Answer 7

That's a touch one to answer, yes it can last if your willing to live with it, but I would not suggest you tell him, your right it will devastate him.

Alot of relationships go that way after long periods of time but after 10 months it should not be like that, 10 years maybe.

Every relationship is different, you have to decide if you can continue with yours the way it is or not, if not then don't lead him on, if so then keep it to yourself and hopefully the passion will return.

Some things are best left unsaid!

Answer 8

at 42 you should have a small idea what you need in a relationship to make it last for you. Some nned intellectual stimulation and companionship over physical intamacy...maybe it is the safety and security that you require and you can build on your relationship that way. Whatever you decide you need don't let this poor soul be hurt by indecisivness, and don't stay with him for pitty of hurting him. He deserves someone to love him equally...he would only be hurt eventually by your lack of enthusiasm ( in a physical sense) anyway. It can lead to unnecessary emotional isssues later.

Answer 9

Passion can't dissaper in a heartbeat. So my suggestion is to you is to try to make the relationship work. You said that there was GREAT passion in the relationship in the begininng then find out where the passion went. Did he change his hair, gain weight, or does the same things in bed or what? Whatever it is then try your best to change and make it work. If its something that you can't fix then... only thing you can do is leave him. So there no other way of breaking up with a person, because no one wants to break-up with someone or someone break up with them. So let him down gently. Either way he going to be hurt.

Answer 10

Very defensive! You ask us a question,and then cuss us out before we even answer! You may be hot on the outside,but are you a good person on the inside? That is what counts in the end.I would say if you do not have any passion for the guy.Get to packing.You are waisting his time.He could be out there finding someone that really cares about him.Instead you are leading him to believe that you care about him when you do not.That is wrong.You are hurting yourself,and him.