Im the most kind, compassionate, loving man. And yes i have been married and divorced previous. But i feel as thought my divorce has left a black mark on myself since my ex wife and i didnt try to save our marriage. I feel as though no one wants me. I've been divorced for exactly 6 mo. and 4 days now. Am i wrong to think that no one will want me? I know it sounds stupid, but i still believe in opening doors for ladies, i've learned to compromise, romantic dinners, roses and wine, love to go out on the weekends, very affectionate. but yet after all this time i still feel out of place and again like no one wants me.
2007-06-18 01:12:15 · 13 answers · asked by joseph c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
in the past 6 yrs (before my marriage), i've never been w/out someone. SO now i dont know what to do or how to act because i grew up alone with no siblings. So i attached to women when i was with one and now i feel alone again?
2007-06-18 01:22:09 · update #1
in the past 6 yrs (before my marriage), i've never been w/out someone. SO now i dont know what to do or how to act because i grew up alone with no siblings. So i attached to women when i was with one and now i feel alone again?
2007-06-18 01:24:31 · update #2
I know you're lonely right now, and that's certainly not fun, but maybe this would be a good time for you to do some self-discovery.
You mentioned that you didn't date before you met your wife, and you mentioned that you don't have siblings. So, you feel nervous about hitting the dating scene, and you don't really have anyone to hang out with.
My suggestion is to look into different interests. Go to the driving range and see if you like that. Try a book club. Go fishing. Join a small group at church.
You don't have to have a love interest in your life to be happy. Perhaps you should get to know yourself a bit better before you invite another person to share your time.
Who knows? Maybe you would meet someone when you're out trying something new. Then you would have a mutual interest, which is a great conversation starter.
I wish you the best!
2007-06-18 02:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by diva_500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still healing from the divorce...I've been divorced for 4 years now and I still kinda feel the way you do. But I have improved dramatically over time. I'm not a patient person, but it does take time. I don't think divorce has left a black mark on you, but after being married I have found it quite difficult to "get back into the game" as things are different now that I'm older, wiser, more responsible and have different priorities. I think you just need to give yourself some time. If you are the great guy you say you are, you will find someone again. Trust me, woman like me would kill for a nice, decent man. Hang in there and good luck!
2007-06-18 01:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by Spaceyangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married over 15 years. My divorce was final over a year ago.
The possibility is still out there, you just have to be open to it, and even if you are open to it, you have to also be willing to be patient.
Take the time to get back to basics and put things the way you want them. Depending upon how long you were married, it could take quite awhile to let go of the emotional baggage, and even then, it will still always be with you.
I believe two people should be happy separately and add to each other's happiness, not one or the other being solely the reason for it for the other.
You can't define who you are or your self value by whether or not someone else is in your life.
Some may tell you to get rid of your baggage, but while you can control some of that, remember that the relationship you were in made you part of who you are today.
From Rent:
ROGER
I've been trying - I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage
MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
So don't try to not be who you are in trying not to bring "baggage" to the next relationship. Just recognize that neither one of you is there to totlaly fix the other person.
2007-06-18 01:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually I feel divorced people hopefully gained more insight into relationships and yes there is a life after marriage, after 16 years of marriage I divorced, been divorced 4 or 5 years now I have a wonderful boyfriend so yes life does go on and yes you will find someone but it takes time, I didnt date until a year or so later after my divorce I wanted time to collect myself.... and today a divorce person is so common its not like what it use to be... so relax and enjoy your freedom alittle....
2007-06-18 02:05:36 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds of it you will definitely find another woman. I've dated a divorced guy and he was the best man I've ever been with. The fact that he'd been married and it hadn't worked out didn't bother me a bit. Divorce is just like splitting up with a long term partner but you have to do it legally...and just about everyone has split up with someone before. You sound like the perfect man...good luck in finding another woman, I'm sure she'll come soon
2007-06-18 01:21:24 · answer #5 · answered by xangel123x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your divorce is still pretty new so don't beat yourself up too badly for feeling alone. It does sound like you depend too much on others to "complete" you when what you need to do is start finding out more about who you are. Take some counseling for awhile and don't start attaching yourself to another woman until you learn how to like yourself. You'll have a better chance of finding and keeping a relationship if you are more self-sufficient.
2007-06-18 01:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a stage of divorce. take time to work on you and what got you here in the first place. Get rid of your old baggage so you do not bring it to new relationship. Communication is key, learn how to better communicate. You have an opportunity to transform yourself so grow and become the man you want to be. Live Love and Laugh.
2007-06-18 01:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by bill 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll fine - give it time. No black mark for several reasons:
1. Millions of people are divorced, so you have lots of company.
2. Women usually assume you ex was, well...a bit*h.
3. You've been married before shows women you're willing to commit.
Join Match.com, don't rush and have fun.
Good luck mate -
2007-06-18 01:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by HD Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did and I had 2 children from my previous marriage and I have been married now for 2 years
2007-06-18 01:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did and it's lasted 40+ years, so yes you will find someone just don't be in a rush, the healing process takes time and you need to give yourself that time, so when you do find the right person you'll be able to move on with your life and be happy.
2007-06-18 01:17:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋