What do i do ? Please serious answers?

Question

I have been with my b/f for almost 5 years , he's never had a stable job and everytime i ask him what are his goals in life he says he doesn't know?!! I go to college and work after classes and i have 3 children. I have a guy who is very interested in me and has goals and a stable job and is family oriented. We are friends but he wants it to be more ...he even asked me to marry him. I just wish my b/f would get it togather but it doesn't seem like he is anytime soon. He didn't even go pick up my kids on my birthday eve though i told him i was treating myself to a pedicure and manicure so i had to come all the way from getting pampered to go get my kids from school!! What do i do? I love my b/f but i don't think it's going to work? Should i leave and start a new relationship with someone else? Thanks.

I'm going to take time to myself to think if i decide to leave my b/f. I'm not going to jump right into another relationship so soon.

Answer 1

you have to do what is going to make you happy.. and whats better for you and for your kids..

Answer 2

I don't think the friend should have any bearing on the situation or your decision ....you are in a committed relationship and faithful to the person you are with . However your friend has highlighted a problem in your relationship . I like to end a relationship if it doesn't work not because I have found someone better as this could keep on happenning . your boyfriend doesn't sound like a suitable partner in business and life , he sounds a bad choice that you have grown attached to but if you live together it will take you time to separate and you would need to be alone for a while and would probably return to the way you felt just before the relationship which may not have been very happy so be ready for the blues !
Its not good to find a new boyfriend too quickly either because emotions usually run very deeply and take time to work out also people tend to be different out of the relationship and see a need to try harder which would then make you interested again but if you get involved with someone too quickly you may really regret it ?
I hope this helps ...see how it goes but if your friend is really in love with you he will wait to sort this all out first ...the bible says love is patient and kind ....1corinthians v4 ...I've been there myself recently !

Answer 3

No goals, no stable job, and does not seem real concerned with the welfare of the children. I would have to say that it is amazing that you are even with him. From the sounds of things, you are pulling more than your fair share of the load and he is just along for the ride. Don't make any excuses to him and don't try to explain it to him, just tell him that you can not spend the rest of your life with someone that has no direction and is only concerned with himself. Show him the door and don't look back. This other guy you mentioned, I did happen to notice that you said he was interested, has goals, stable job and is family oriented...BUT you did not say you loved him. Do not make the mistake of getting together with someone because of the traits you mentioned, make sure it is for reasons of the heart and the qualities you seek in a mate, not just one.

Answer 4

Dear Sister,
A relationship becomes meaningful when we accept and admit both merits and demerits of each other. In your case now you have got an option thatz why you think in negetive way. It is not his fault that he become like a lazy guy but everybody's nature has been determined according to their actions from their previous life. May be he is the one who has to experience of being ditched by his partner because he might have done the same thing to you in any of your previous lives.

Now come to his shoe. If he was well employed and well settled and he feels that you are not worthy for him, how you would be feeling. Another thing when we need something from others, we will try to show our most glittering part of personality in front of them. Once we attain the goal the law of "diminishing marginal utility" will apply. Then again will you be able to find a so called gentlemen?

My dear siter, when you will be able to satisfy yourself with whatever is destined for you, then only you will be able to expeirience peace in our life. When we are gropping always for the things that match with our interest always we feel uneasy and will get depressed. Hope for the best sister. Most probably he is depressed on his unemployment and inferiority complex. Once he could get a good job and a change in enviornment definitely he will change and you will be able to lead a happy and prosperous life. Best of luck

Answer 5

You can't leave one guy for the other, that never works but you do need to live the good life and that means stability and responsibility and I don't think you're getting it with the b/f so take some advice here because if there was no such thing as money in the world life would be alot different but since it takes cash to eat, it's nice to have a mate to help a little.

Answer 6

Dear as much as you love him he is never going to change. You need a stable relationship for yourself and your children. It is hard to do, but you need to leave. You do not want your children suffering from this relationship and it sounds like they will. Your friend sounds like a good catch, but I agree that you shouldn't rush into things with him either. You and your children will all be healing from the break-up and need time. Do not do anything to run your friend off though. Keep him close and lean on him for support. He sounds like someone who will see you through the tough time and still love you in the end. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 7

seems like your on your way ,to leaving your bf anyway! and you've probably told your friend all your problems concerning your bf. your kids need a household that is stable. with kids & college its tough.but,you shouldn't jump from one relationship straight into the next.i wouldn't want to leave under an arguement and have your friend help you move out.that could be messy.show your kids you can move out with intergrity.i would at least give it a year to settle on your own.then let your friend start showing up around your new place,to take you out on dates.you and your kids need adjustment time.your bf will always has visiting rights with his kids.who was fixing dinner and keeping the kids while you went to college and work?good luck!

Answer 8

Your boyfriend is a loser. He's certainly given you enough time after 5 yrs. to notice he's going nowhere. Come on.....why would anyone knowingly want to choose the loser with no goals over the guy who does!!! Even if you don't wind up with the other guy, you need to dump the boyfriend.

Answer 9

I think you know what to do. Five years is enough time to get to know someone. He has shown you who he really is. Believe him. He most likely won't change. I can't say whether you should jump right into another relationship. Your children are your priority right now. Don't introduce them to another man right away. Children get attached. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

You definitely need to make this man leave. He does not love you or he would treat you better and be more helpful. I know you love him, but love is not always enough- is this the example you want for your three kids? NO- tell him to leave TODAY!

Answer 11

Sounds like he is a user, I would move on not worth the time and effort it takes two to make a relationship work and it dont sound like he is putting that effort in it...