My wife can't have a orgasm!!!!!!!!?

Question

Been together 15 years and she said she used to have orgasms when we were younger, but now last 7 years they are more like mini-orgasms 3 kids later too. We have bought a rabbit, silver bullet, 3 %ildos of varying sizes, used them together and nothing....no big O. She doesn't even like the vibrators which I thought was going to be the lotto winner. She likes using her fingers during intercourse but still mini-orgasms. I'm more frustrated then her it seems..... she never brings it up. We still have sex frequently and she intiates and like many women says everything feels great the one thing I have noticed that alot of women post here is she says she gets super close "mini-orgasm" and can't let go she can't let it go further. That's girl talk to a man. She doesn't masturbate with any regularity says it feels different if I'm not there. Is the next step the doctor or should I just not worry about it because she doesn't seem to be? I just want that big O must be a guy thing

To Tonka....I asked a question. I didn't say anything about relationship ending, marital distress, that I didn't love her etc. I think it would be clear by the openness in the question that it would be obvious that our relationship is awesome!! I was just asking a question.

Answer 1

First try going very slow, a hot bubble bath the after drying her off a body massage and i don't me going right to her vagina ok i mean rub every thing with slow long rubs with oils. The more you rub other areas and just come close to that part of her the more it will drive her crazy. just be very attentive to her body everywhere that she likes, like the back of her knees a good foot rub the small of her back between her shoulder blades the inside of her thighs and calf's there is a spot on the heel of anyones foot that is called a sex gland that can cause arousal when you rub a persons foot. Blind fold her while you are doing this so she just feels everything by doing this you will have her so primed it won't be funny she just needs to feel very relaxed like its all about her not you. Not that your that kind of guy ok. just let her feel very pampered. Good luck

Answer 2

Yeah, some of it is a guy thing...but some is genuine concern. Yes, have her see a doctor, and you might consider a shrink. ON the other hand, if she genuinely enjoys sex and enjoys sex with you, then you are the one keeping yourself from enjoying the act more fully. Perhaps her multiple minis equal one big O for her. As long as she is enjoying sex with you it would seem you have the opportunity to experiment and play and have a good time. If she wants something more, ask her and if she does, suggest she seek help. If she is happy with what is taking place, then you should relax and enjoy.

Answer 3

I think the more pressure you put on the 'Big O' the less likely it is to happen. When you are younger you have less things to think about (i.e children, mortgage) and more time to think about yourself and your own pleasures. If she doesn't seem to be worried about it, then I wouldn't make a big issue of it. Just keep loving her etc and the rest should flow. Also, as a woman matures her hormones change - this might explain the difference from orgasming and not orgasming.

Answer 4

Holy cow! I hope she doesn't know what a big deal you are making out of this! If I knew my relationship could end if I couldn't climax, I sure wouldn't feel comfortable at all about it! Its a shame it sounds like you are focusing straight on the orgasm, and "gettin it done". You made no comment about how much you love her. To feel inadaquate to the person you love is a painful thing. Communication is very important, and i don't mean telling her your out the door if she doesn't perform to your liking. A little epathy and love would probably help too. I can't imagine myself in her shoes, if i knew my boyfriend felt this way about me. Very depressing and sad indeed.

Answer 5

not being able to orgasm could be an emotional thing. has something happened to her (or to your marriage) within the last 7 years to make her put up some kind of emotional block? i would try talking about that before bringing her to a Dr. For us women, sex and orgasms are very emotional unlike you guys who ALWAYS get there!!! I sure do hope she gets there... for her sake.... i can't imagine the rest of my life with no more orgasms..... good luck dude

Answer 6

Suggest pelvic floor exercise to her. But she has to do it religiously for it to really work. It worked for me after my baby and I still do it religiously, 13 years on.
Don't pressure her and you two still have got those years ahead when the children are all grown up. No need to rush. In between intimate times, give her a lot of reassurance such as a light kiss before you go to work, a cuddle and give her some compliments. Avoid anything sexual. No groping obviously. That'll only make her feel more pressured.

Answer 7

If she's not bringing it up, why are you? Is this bringing down your ego or what? She doesn't need a doctor! Maybe she's just not that into you any more and doesn't want to say anything. My advice to you is just leave it alone!

Answer 8

She never has a problem when we're having sex, especially when I'm eating her out, because she actually screams and has a BIG O, and when I'm doing her doggie style she just loves it, so the problem must be yours.

Answer 9

Maybe your not not doing something right and she isn't telling what she really wants!

Answer 10

time for doctor {}