I used to date women just so noone would suspect me of being gay. I feel really horrible about this now. Has anyone done the samething and fealt the same way? If so how did you get over it?
2007-06-17 18:55:52 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes, for years I dated only men to hide my sexuality and attractions to gals.
I tried everything to "not be gay." I tried to "pray it away." When that didn't work I went the to the extreme opposite and had multiple sexual partners...all male. When that didn't work...I thought settling down and getting married and having a family would do it...nope...still gay!
Anyway...no...I have never felt guilty for my past relationships. I learned from each one of them and have been able to grow from the experiences.
Actually I'm grateful for each one of them.
Now don't get me wrong...I don't believe that everything happens for a reason..but I do believe every person that enters your life does so for a reason.
2007-06-17 19:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I've been on the other end of it!
My ex-boyfriend dated me when we were younger, before he came out, because we got along well and there was a lot of peer pressure on him to date a girl.
6 years later, it doesn't really make a difference to me... we're both queer, and we're best friends now. He's my soul mate, but not in the romantic sense. We never really had to get over it, we just laughed it off and now it's this big joke between us that we used to date.
So don't feel too bad; you never know, one of those women might end up being your best friend, or another valued contact later in life.
2007-06-18 02:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't date that many women, probably because I was upfront about EVERYTHING that was going on with me at the time, so I never had to worry about lying. Thankfully, that part of my life has been over for many years.
And to 'Kondal' - once you can convince all the religious nuts out there about what kind of damage it does for gays and lesbians "passing" for straight to get involved with straight people who don't know, they'll be a lot less hurt and heartache in the world. Good luck doing that, though. You'll need it.
2007-06-18 08:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by dreamchaser8860 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same position you are...I knew since i was prob 11 that i was gay but i guess i tried to hide it....i was picked on a lot when i was younger and i was sick of it..when i was in High school i was in denial that i was gay...i mean i knew i liked men but b/c i was made fun of the whole time i tried to hide it soo i forced myself to go after girls and my best friend who was a girl at the time was IN LOVE with me and she basically forced us to try and work out a relationship...well i was hesitant at first but i thought maybe if i have a girlfriend ill be straight or people will just stop picking on me....well i feel so bad for being in that relationship b/c i didnt like her the same way as she liked me and i couldn't give her what she wanted but she was very controlling and she literally wouldn't let me break up with her...finally we did and i came out to her and my friends...and it was like A HUGE beam was lifted off my shoulders and i felt soo much better...but sometimes i still feel really bad for doing that too her...i mean i was confused at the time but still now looking back i just wish i could have done things differently...LOL i try not to think about it b/c if i think about it i feel worse sooo i just try to move on and meet guys....hope that helped
2007-06-18 10:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by Bhow423 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i did the same thing, i even got married, was married for 14 years before i got divorced. I had a great life with my wife, but had to be true to myself. I dont feel horrible about it though. My ex and i are still very close to this day, have been divorced now for almost 2 years. I will always love her! Now iam exploring my true sexuality and loving it. It is easier for me though, iam now living in another country.
2007-06-20 10:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by ziggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have done this and the way I got over it was to talk about it with my friends and by loveing the person that I truely am and through the relationships that I have had.
2007-06-24 11:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did. I even have a daughter. Do I feel guilty? No, just ashamed that I couldn't accept who I was. I do love my daughter though, and am very thinkful for her!!!
How did get over all my problems with what I have done?
I have not!! But it is a separate issue for me now!!
2007-06-18 02:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Zombie King 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plenty of gay people date the opposite just to cover up their homosexuality. I won't exactly say that it's normal, but that was the past. Just be happy that you were able to come out and be free of pretending your someone that you really aren't.
2007-06-18 02:17:27 · answer #8 · answered by Breezy Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although in high school I had some same sex attractions I had more attractions to girls and dated some. It wasn't until later that I realized that I was absolutely attracted to men and that i was gay, not bi.
I didn't feel guilty then and don't now and neither should you.
2007-06-23 12:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by wellnotright 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have dated ALOT of girls before.going out and just hanging out somewhere is easy but the hard part is in bed.i have to think really hard about the hottest boy in school to get through with it,haha i think its wrong that ive done that but what can i do?? i was in a strict catholic school,homophobic parents,living with 3 older brothers,in a fraternity and one of the best lookin guy in school!haha so yea i think thats good reason enough
2007-06-18 03:56:26 · answer #10 · answered by ........ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋