I am an unhappy wife of 17yrs, who is saddened because I cannot seem to get my husband to reduce his committments.
He works a 40 hr week, coaches AFL under 13's 2 nights a week, also he does 3 x 12 hr shifts as a volunteer ambulance officer after work on weekdays, and then one 24 hr shift most weekends. He has developed health issues but still will not slow down. I am lucky that I prefer my own company, but am sick of waiting for him. So do I live the kids life with them?, do I find a bit on the side to give me some sparkle back ?, do I live my life like he isnt there, make my own plans and exclude him? Or do I take the kids and start fresh? My man is honest, caring, a great provider, a very hard worker and someone with whom I have spent over half my life but this same issue has been lurking in the background and source of arguments for 3 years now. He used to be my Rock, now all I want is THE ROCK!!
2007-06-17 18:43:44 · 7 answers · asked by nikznailz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for that, but yes it has been thrashed out many times in 3 years. It does improve slightly, then goes back to the same.
2007-06-17 18:56:54 · update #1
First of all, lets remember that when you get married you promise to stay together until death do you part... That is for better or worse...
You just have to figure out a way to get through to him. Try everything to get him to notice and listen to you.
If it's sex that you're missing...spice it up... buy something sexy... not necessarily nice and sensual, buy something erotic.... That should get his attention... Keep doing it until he changes and decided that he'd much rather be at home sometimes....
If that doesn't work, just tell him the truth ... tell him what you just told us. Just remember that he is the one you picked to love forever...
2007-06-17 19:05:52 · answer #1 · answered by jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"do I find a bit on the side" - as in have an affair? No, you're overextended husband is no excuse for that.
You need to talk to him about this. He has time for everything else - there should be time for you, too. My neighbor and her husband do a date night every Friday. They never miss. But they had to separate for the same reasons you just stated in order to get there.
2007-06-17 18:55:45 · answer #2 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you need the Dr. Phil book. And I am not being sarcastic. I, myself two years ago went through serious marital problems. Considered divorce myself, though I have not been married as long as you. But it helped me, alone. Then it helped us. Do you remember your vows? Did you intend to keep them when you spoke them? Do you intend to keep them now? You chose this many for your LIFE PARTNER. Do you know what that means? That means no matter what, you stand side by side with one another. To push each other through the thick and pull each other through the thin of it all. Do not abandon this man who has stood by you in all things, when he too, at one time or another has thought of abandoning you. Hold his hand, speak to him and look into his eyes. He will get it. By looking in your eyes, he will get it. I promise.
hope this helps
B
2007-06-17 18:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by Brandi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the AFL with him, ride the ambulance with him. I don't think you should leave him. You should just find other ways to spend time with him. You could also get your own interests going. Find some thing you like to do while he is out.
2007-06-17 18:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you too need to sit down and have a cup of coffe and talk this over because 17 years is hard to flush down the toilet.
2007-06-17 18:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by VMKFreak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should confront him and then decide from there. Give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't choose you then you need to let him go.
2007-06-17 18:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Update his life insurance policy.
2007-06-17 18:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋