Should I divorce the jerk?

Question

My husband of 21 years is an absolute jerk. I cook every meal, clean up after every meal. Make our bed, do the laundry, do all the grocery shopping, pay the bills, plan our weekend events, and I do not even get a thank you. Maybe I am just being a PMS b*+t* but come on, a little appreciation would be nice. Yes, I have told him. His reply is always the same "it's not my job" He thinks that because he works outside the home and I don't that he does not have to lift a finger. I guess if he lived by himself he would live in his own dung. Oh well, thanks for letting me vent. I am having a pity party tonight and everyone is invited.

Answer 1

Hey you have brains and your cute too! dump him, I am cookin tonite sweety.

Answer 2

well kiddo the question is how often you you thanks him for doing his job and how easy do you make it for him to do his job?? i know hes a cop right so I know you cant do much to help him ,and life has a way of getting us all down sometimes ,but if hes good to you in other ways ,and loves you this is the best ting in the world ,I could set here and give you a ton of what ifs that wouldn't mean much sense you haven't experienced it for your self and as usual the grass always seems greener,but ask your self the big questions and look at the big picture,,changing partners is just a trade off of a new set of problems and no one is perfect..once upon a time your loved this man and for those reasons you need to look for them again ,,maybe get a setter and go away for a weekend alone and fall in love with him at a new and better level ,,life isn't easy but if hes a good man then hes a keeper.its better than being alone and living alone and fighting boredom causes a lot of problems spice things up !!!
dont take the easy way out find ways to fix it....

Answer 3

Be careful, pick your battles. Don't be drama queen. Guys, normally, don't start the fight. Maybe their "stupidness" at times pisses you off, but come on, imagine life without him. Not only would you have to do the laundry, grocery shopping, plan weekend events? - yah sounds like a tough life....... but you would also be working outside the home, if you pissed him off enough with your complaining, and he left you to do your normal household cleaning and earning a living in the workplace. Trust me, you don't really know what you've got till its gone and sometimes (with the help of fighting back your pride) it is so very very worth it. Basically, just vent here and pick your battles with him. Think, that without him, life would probably be a little bit harder. By the way, do you thank him on a regular basis for financially supporting you and him??

Answer 4

Stop doing anything for him. Don't cook his dinner, don't wash his clothes, make him pay the bills, go somewhere by yourself for the week end. Don't go grocery shopping, except for yourself.
He's crazy if he thinks helping out at home is not his job. You have let him get away with this. Now it's time for you to turn the tables.

Answer 5

When we/women decide to be a homemaker and can afford it financially, it should be done w/o complaining. What I mean is if we love our spouses, and our children, it should be our privilege to do things for them, our home is where we find peace and rest. Now, our family should not take advantage, and be messy, like throwing their clothes on the floor, etc.

But, when you tell someone, I did this and this for you, then it's like you throw it in their face, and you didn't do it from your heart. Does he complain to you, about him earning the money? Now, he could be a little more appreciative by saying thank you, but you need to tell him, not yell at him.

If you are very unhappy about staying home, then suggest to him that you would prefer to work, but the housework will still be there too. Good luck.

Answer 6

Hey Sweetie, my ex-husband was just like that. Took everything for granted (like it got done by magic) and didn't think he had to do anything. I have to say that I am so glad he is gone. A huge dumb dead weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much lighter now. If your husband doesn't change I would seriously consider getting out and I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose. Now go relax and have a nice cold margarita!!

Answer 7

if thats the only problem in your marriage i dont think that you should jump the gun and divorce him.
i understand how frustrating that can be, and i wouldnt not allow it either.

he probably doesnt realize that hes being so difficult. you should try giving him some chores, maybe get a part time job, if he gives you a hard time about him earning all of the money.
start dividing the house work, etc.

stop wiping his ***. hes a big boy. and im sure youre sick to death of it.

Answer 8

Get rid of this parasite. Sorry to say this...but your responsible, you never gave him any responsibility. Once your married the ideal thing to do is split everything down the middle, but when you have a partner who is very efficient, the other half takes advantage. Good Luck !

Answer 9

He is taking you for granted.....my wife left me for a coworker and wow!!! its not easy I do all the house work,raise two small boys,started a construction business and coach my sons base ball team and working through the last of my depression. He has it soooo good he sounds like royalty! Give him a few chores that would ease your work load and allow him to see how much work tending to the house is. good luck=)

Answer 10

The way you present it, he sounds like a jerk.

However, if you don't work outside of the house, the question comes up, how many hours a week of solid work do you put in to 'earn your keep'...compared to how many hours per week he puts in 'earning his keep' at work.

If it is about the same, or if you are putting in less than him, maybe you should re-evaluate your pleasant situation.

Overall, it sounds like you need to try marriage counselling.

Answer 11

stop doing everything for him let him cook his own meals and do his own laundry for a while