what counts as rape?

Question

The other night i got too drunk, and my guy best friend asked me to his house. we occasionally hook up and hes asked me if i had wanted to have sex before and i would say no everytime since i was planning to wait for this guy in another country i have been in love with for over a year.

so basically we had sex, but i dont remember any of it.. and no we didnt use protection. the only thing i remember is telling him to stop because it hurt. my dad will go insane if i get pregnant, and the country where i live you cannot get any morning after pills without parental consent.

i just.. i dont know what to do.

i live in hk.. and my dads a cop.

i dont want him charged.

it had been three days since my last period

I told my mum, she got me the morning after pill. i am not going to the police, i am not going to oprah, i'm just gna learn from it and get on with my life. Thank you for all your support and comments, and to all those who said i was stupid for getting that drunk, of course you are all correct. Thank you again.

Answer 1

What country do you live in? Yes that is rape by U.S. standards. You told him to stop and you were inebriated which means you could not make decisions for yourself. Tell your father what happened and ask him to take you to get the morning after pill. (In the U.S. you do not need parental consent if report the crime)

Answer 2

I believe that was rape and I am sorry you had to go through that. Maybe risk losing your friends and some of your freedom and just tell your father what happen so you can get the morning after pill. The worst that will happen is you'll loose your best friend and your father wont trust you. But, at least you might not get pregnant. Try not to get that drunk anymore or better yet just don't drink anymore. Also if you have any friends over the legal age ask them to get you the pill. Good luck and we all make mistakes sweetheart but I'm quite sure you learned from this incident!

Answer 3

Yes, it's rape. You were unconsenting, your friend knew you weren't ready for sex, and your friend took advantage of you (some friend).

First of all, figure out where in your period you are. If it's about 2 weeks since your last period (10-16 days), then you are more likely to get pregnant. If you have uneven periods, or can't remember, then you need to tell your dad what happened so that you can get a morning-after pill. He will want to help protect you against an unwanted pregnancy, and yeah, you're probably going to have to put up with his shock and anger, but he is going to be more concerned about you getting pregnant than about all the other stuff for now. And it's more important that you prevent an unwanted pregnancy than to find out a month or two from now that yes, you're pregnant. That's a LOT harder to tell your dad.

The other option is having a female relative help by pretending to be your mother/guardian, but I don't recommend that. I only suggest that because you know your dad best, and if he has a history of violence, then I can understand why you would want to avoid that.

And stop getting so drunk that you can't take responsibility for your actions. That's just dumb, leaving yourself open like that.

Answer 4

If you were in the US, it might have been advisable to tell your dad. But if you cannot get pills without consent, you simply have to tell your dad. It's better to ask him for a signature and tell him that you're pregnant. Looks like you have no option. And that "best friend" should no longer be a friend. No means no. That was rape. You can decide later whether you plan to press charges or not. The first priority is to prevent pregnancy. Don't lose time. Clock's ticking, my friend.

Edit: Are you afraid that telling your dad will put things at a point of no return where your dad will beat/sue the hell out of him? That may well be the case, but believe me sweetie, it's not worth being so self-sacrificing for this jerk. Avoiding pregnancy is your first priority. Worrying about a rapist is second priority. Don't do this to yourself. Don't wait.

Answer 5

If you do not clearly remember the event, you may have mislead him into thinking you were up for it. In any case, that is what his lawyer would say, and you will look like a foolish little drunken girl (at least) or a vindictive tramp (at worst). I think this would be far more embarrassing and upsetting to your father the policeman than having to get you the morning after pill.

He will probably throw a fit, and restrict your ability to get inappropriately drunk and unwisely laid. That would certainly be the reaction of a responsible and loving parent. But the action of a responsible young woman would be to prevent the birth of a child she does not want, of a man she does not love, at an age where she is clearly not responsible enough to raise it.

Talk to your dad. Now.

Answer 6

it sounds to me like you were taken advantage of. I suggest you go to a doctor to see if you are pregnant, or worse have an STD. If you told him to stop and he didn't that is rape. You do need to report it because if you don't he will do this again. If he did it once, he may have done it before and could be planning on doing it again. Do you want someone else to go through what you have? What if you have an STD or he is giving others an STD? How can you not stop him? I know that it is hard but you have got to tell someone. My thoughts are with you because I know no matter what you do this will stay with you always. I just hope the right thing comes out of this.

Answer 7

You said STOP, and he didn't then its rape. But i don't know what to tell you. You say you don't want to press charges, and yet "if" you end up pregnant then what are you going to tell your family? You really can't lie about that because it will come back to haunt you. You need to tell someone. But most importantly your family.
That so called friend of yours is not a friend, and who knows how many times this will happen if he is able to get away with it. I'm worried that he will continue to rape you until he is stopped.
Sorry to sound so blunt, but i hate to see anyone hurt because of a holes like him.

Answer 8

sorry to say this, but if u "hook up" every once in awhile, it doesn't sound like ur in love. Also it sounds like u consented to have sex w/ that guy. I noticed that u didn't tell him to stop cuz u didn't want to, u told him to stop cuz it HURT! So u pretty much consented cuz u never told him to stop and it sounds like u didn't fight him. U made a drunk mistake, sh*t happens, get over it. Tell ur daddy u had sex n u need a morning after pill. If he asks tell him u got drunk n had sex, if ur old enough to get wasted, ur old enough to tell ur parents the TRUTH! Also if he's ur bff, he would have known better, the guy got in ur pants, he got what he wanted. Sorry it sounds so harsh but thats life.

Answer 9

If you said No and he did it still it is Rape. You shouldnt have gotten drunk tho if you are underage and your fathers a cop.... If you want him charged you should tell your parents what has happened, dont do that tho to take the responsibility away from yourself it takes two remember. Think long and hard if you truely didnt want it and you tried to fight him off then that is rape.

Answer 10

Saying no in the US (at all and at anytime) contitutes rape if the man continues. This is a very severe rule and I've seen a couple cases where the woman said yes for the whole act of sex except for the end when she refused. THE MINUTE THE WOMAN SAYS NO, IT IS RAPE.