Is marriage worth it?

Question

I am 33 and don't know if I want to get married. Do you think modern society needs marriage? I make 6 figures, own a house and don't see the need for it? Am I nuts and will regret it when I am old and lonely -- or am I making the right decision? I have turned down 2 engagement proposals - have I just not found the right guy - or - am I just a sign of the times?

I am not sure if I want kids - so I think that's a major reason for my indecision. Is marriage good for kids?

The reason I mention 6 figures is because I can take care of myself. My parent and grandparents got married to make a household work. I can do it on my own.

Answer 1

Yes, it is -- but may not be for you. I was the same as you - two degrees and a great career, lots of friends, great family. And through the course of dating, was smart enough to turn down two proposals as well - one at 19, one at 24. However, when the 'right' man came along, well, that was it. I knew I wanted to marry him and have a family. It turned out to be right for me -- because he was the man who FIT with me. And having a family is wonderful!
It's what you choose - and what comes along in your life... If you are happy and contribute to your community by volunteering, helping others, etc. you are maybe satisfying enough of your emotional needs...

Answer 2

If A Women wants to skip the walk down the aisle, research gives them a financial incentive to just say no. Contrary to those previous studies, women who live with their boyfriends do just as well on the economic front as married women do, though both do better than their unmarried and unattached counterparts.
Your questioning some foundational concepts of our Judeo-Christian society. “Is Marriage Worth It?” Now, I'm not entirely referring to the concept of marriage, a foundational point of western culture, but that process of becoming married, of that legalistic and religious basic concept enshrined by our peculiar modern custom of having a wedding.
The paychecks of many married women decline -- or stop altogether -- after they become brides or mothers.
A marriage to the right person is worth it. A marriage to the wrong person is not. How does one decide who the right person is?
Marriage and family are definitely good things. But they are important and life-altering, and are not to be entered into lightly. If you are so fortunate as to find the right person, don't let shallow concerns get in the way, pursue it and see it through. If neither you nor those close to you harbor any serious doubts, then marriage is likely the right decision.

Being that you will be intering the marriage with a house or other assets, then it is a good idea to put into writing what the spouse will receive when the marriage dissolves. If you enter the marriage owning a business, will your partner receive part of the business if you divorce? If you'd rather not have that happen, a prenuptial agreement can ensure that your spouse not receive any part of the assets you brought into the marriage.
There are some guidelines that need to be followed to ensure that the premarital agreement holds up in court when the time comes. First, it must be in writing, not just a verbal agreement. Secondly, both parties must have made a full and fair disclosure concerning all their assets. If that was not done, the agreement will not be considered valid. Lastly, each party should be represented by a lawyer, but not the same lawyer, when entering into the agreement so that neither can claim that they did not understand it when they signed it.

To ensure that the premarital agreement is legal and binding, it will need to be drawn up by an attorney and reviewed by an attorney for each party.

Remember to do these things with love, and he laugh's...

Answer 3

Since you are financially independent, you have the luxury of choosing a mate based on love or friendship or whatever criteria you want. If you have not met the right person, don't get married. If and when you do find a soul mate, there is little reason to hesitate on marriage, IMO. And that is true regardless of financial security - a soul mate can transcend any material challenge.

I have been married 20 years, and I have to say it is worth it. I have a partner, a friend and a lover to share my life with. We want many of the same things in life, and we enjoy planning our lives together, be it careers, home improvements or travel. It's nice to have a lifetime companion.

Answer 4

That depends on you. You may find the 'right guy' and decide to 'settle down' and get married or you may just decide to remain single and have relationships at your leisure.

I think that marriage (as an institution) is lacking the permanence that used to come with it. My parents have been married for over 37 years and are still in love, but most of my friends are divorced. Why? Commitment and compromise are essential when living with someone for any significant period of time. If you are unwilling to compromise then marriage is not for you.

Answer 5

It could be both. Maybe you are just not ready to settle down to the whole marriage thing. Why not a long term committed relationship with out the marriage? Marriage is just taking vows and making the promise to love till the end but it is all in the people who marry to make it work or not. Marriage is not for everyone but maybe you have not found the one who makes you want to spend the rest of your life with. It is a great feeling and could not imagine my life without my husband.

Answer 6

With all its ups and downs, marriage is a good thing ! It has survived thousands of years.

If you are making a 6 figure income, that is not really a positive thing in finding a husband. Men would shy away from you, if they are not making more than that. So you eliminated 90% of all men in your age group that way.

So, my suggestion ? Register with all on line personals, yahoo, MSN, match.com, etc., etc., like a new movie release campaign, and really shake the market down. Do mention your accomplishments and your figure (6). You will find some one in "6" months !

Otherwise, you can always come to me !

Good Luck !

Answer 7

It's just a piece of paper! People in my country get married first before living together or the worst, before making sex..that's very stupid! You cannot know a person 100% if you will not live with him under one roof.You can be with someone without getting married. But this decision depends on you especially when you get kids

Answer 8

I think marriage is worth it for some of us. Maybe it's not for everyone. And why feel bad about it if it's not for you? Marriage can be good for children, if its a good marriage. Bad ones aren't good for anyone, are they? Do I think you're nuts for not being married? No. Do I think you'll regret it when you're old? Well, my crystal ball is broken right now, so I can't say. It's your life, live it the way you think is right for you.

Answer 9

You dont NEED marriage, you have to WANT it. You're obviously an independant woman, however... are you wanting kids in teh future? and if so, can you handle being a single mother and still maintain you 6 figure salary?
It seems you're a bit pre-occupied with your lifestyle and career, otherwise you wouldnt see then need to state "a 6 figure slaray", which suggests you're not readt to commit to a full time relationship anyway... good luck though :)

Answer 10

I applaud you for what you've done with your life. Only you will know when the right man comes along. Never, settle for less in a man just for the sake of marriage. Marriage can be wonderful if with the right person. Your young so take your time finding Mr. Right.