My ex and I were together for 2 years and have known each other for almost 3 now. He was not only my lover, fiance, father of my children, but my best friend. A couple of months ago he beat me and I will admit it wasn't only him I smacked him because something he said was very wrong for him to say. Well I'm not saying either one of us were right. Well he moved out and after a few weeks he started dating someone else and then broke up with them because we were going to get back together. Then he went to jail for something he had nothing to do with. He got out and right before he had gotten another gf, not me. i was there for him the entire time and while he was in the he said many times how much he loved me and couldn't wait to come home. However, when he got out he stayed with her and basically didn't mean anything he said while he was in there. He also said he wanted to marry me. Well i'm dating someone new. i still love him. What should I do? The new guy annoys me.
2007-06-17 15:53:28 · 16 answers · asked by mandi88_bailey05_ray 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex and i have still been sleeping together and cheating on our current significant others. I feel horrible about this because I have never cheated on anyone. I may now be pregnant by my ex and have shared this with my new bf, and he says that's fine he doesn't care he still wants to be with me. I'm confused and need some feedback from people who don't know either of us. My ex has been very supportive and loving since he got out, and barely pays any attention to his new gf. Well i feel bad because she thinks he is the one and he has cheated on her multiple times and didn't even think twice about it. Please help me figure out what to do to either heal my heart so i can be with someone else or to rebuild our already strong relationship!? Is there anyway he could be scared we are going to end up hurting one another once again like before.
2007-06-17 15:57:05 · update #1
oh and since an answer that was put on her the reason I hit him is because he told me it was my fault i got raped. I have never hit anyone even him before or after that. So you cannot say i beat on him
2007-06-17 16:07:09 · update #2
He and I have our marriage license so technically we are married, oh and both of my children are by him. We did not have sex until we were married any one else want to be judgemental do not answer this question!!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-17 16:09:44 · update #3
RUN!!! as fast as you can away from this loser. The first guy needs to grow up and find himself. He is playing you for what it's worth. He knows you have the kids and probably will use that to get close to you, don't let that happen. Get child support papers and move on with your life. I know it isn't easy, but it is necessary for you if you are planning on having any kind of decent existence. The second guy, are you giving your all to this guy, or has the first guy been a problem with this second relationship? Maybe you should take the time to get your mind straight and take care of just you and your children first.....then worry about a man. You may love the first guy right now, but years from now you will look back and wonder why. Ask yourself this: Do you want to be in this same situation a year from now, five years from now, ten years from now? Get yourself together and move on to someone that will respect you and love you the way you deserve to be loved. It hurts like hell at first, but with every passing day it will get easier.
2007-06-17 16:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by bigmom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter WHAT he said to you, if you slapped him first then the gloves are off.If you are big enough and bad enough to throw the first punch you better be able to throw the last one or DO NOT COMPLAIN! Next, he is a liar and a cheater and he only uses women for sex. A REAL man doesn't abandon his wife and children, he works things out. This other girl will mean something if she turns up pregnant!You need to quit dating the other guy that was very stupid on your part.I know what it is like to be lonely and want validation but you don't use someone just to make yourself feel better that's wrong. Then tell your "ex" it is over until he dumps the g/f and is able to commit to you and agree to go to counseling.He shouldn't have said the things he did, and you BOTH need counseling.It isn't ALL him,sorry, you have issues to and until BOTH of you can own up to your crap you will NEVER go forward until you stop blaming each other.
2007-06-17 16:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have everything wrong. First you should be married to be having sex. That is a lot of your problem, you and your x were never committed to each other. Why would you want to be with a guy who has someone else?
Find yourself a single guy, get to know him really well, find out what his values are, what his interests are, and what his plans for the future are. Tell him all of yours. See if you are a match. Then wait for him to ask you to marry him, then you will know he wants to be committed to you for life. Then after a long courtship marry him. Don't have sex with him until the wedding night. Cause what you have been doing is totally wrong and you are paying some of the consequences for it now. If you are pg, the poor child will be paying for your wrongs too. How would you know if the baby is your X's or your new bf. Get it together.
2007-06-17 16:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
The best thing get out of all those relationships, collect your child support, and work on yourself, you need to set standards for yourself and then dont settle for anything less... you seem really confused and that relationship with your so called husband its just a bad situation, its abusive physically and mentally and stop thinking you need a man to be happy, build a healthy environment for your kids.... those kids and yourself should be top priority....
2007-06-17 17:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow it sounds like to me you need to be alone and figure your self out first. What is best for the kids? I am not going to pass judgment on him or you but think that if you both want to work on things then you both need to be single and start working on things living apart. Will you be able to trust him not to hit you again or cheat like he is doing now with his new gf? There are a lot of stuff going on here but you do seem in denial with everything that is going on. I really think that you need to start taking some birth control so you can work with what you have before adding more into the mix. That is not help him or you in any way by having another child.
2007-06-17 16:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by xyz 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
First, a man in jail is always ready to fall back in love and make things right, that's what jail is supposed to do.
Secondly, He did the right thing by moving out since you like to beat on him and then he retaliates by beating on you. Maybe you should just try a little harder dating other guys for a while. Give this a little break.
2007-06-17 16:00:31 · answer #6 · answered by bettercockster1 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Look, just b/c you haven't found someone you love more RIGHT AWAY doesn't mean you need to go back to that jerk!!! It sounds like you're just afraid to be alone and that's NO REASON to go back to someone. You have to fight that fear - think of the example you're setting for your children! Some people stay w/ their husbands just "for the kids," but to me that's a load of crap. If they really loved their kids, they wouldn't want them growing up w/ a man who is a total jerk and can only be a bad example for them. If you want your kids to grow up to be wife-beaters who are in and out of jail, then by all means, go back to him. But for your own sake and for your children, TRY to be independent and single for a while!!! Showing your children that you're a strong woman is very important to the kind of partner THEY will end up choosing in the future. Parents don't understand what an incredible impact they have on their kids. But believe me, the choices you make today will have a direct impact on the kind of person they turn out to be. Think seriously about your next move sweetie .
2007-06-17 15:59:12 · answer #7 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
He sounds like a loser and you need to get rid of him. You will be happier in the long run. Why don't you just go out and meet people and then date casually until you meet someone worth making more of a commitment with. Preferably someone with no violent tendencies and with no jail time under their belt.
2007-06-17 16:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by DM 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you haven't found the right guy to get your mind off of your ex-man. Stop settling for losers just because you are trying to get over your man. Be choosy and find a heart-stopped that will make you wonder why in the hell you were with your ex to begin with.
2007-06-17 15:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Personally, I love chicken flavoured biscuits but sometimes I enjoy munching on liver flavoured ones. Why do I feel that I am cheating on the chicken biscuits? Woof, Woof!
2007-06-17 16:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by Puppy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋