What is your opinion?

Question

I met my best friend last August. For me, it was love at first sight, but it took him awhile to get on the same page as me. He finally realized he liked me too. We started dating in Dec. We have grown really close. We started talking about marrige. We agreed that we want to marry each other. (I knew I wanted to marry him the moment I saw him...i couldn't tell you what it was, I just knew) We want to get married right after our senior year of high school. (when we will both be 18) I love him more than anything in the world and I'd give anything and everything for him. I know that he feels the same way.The only factors are, are we too young? and this is only my second boyfriend, does that mean anything?

Answer 1

The fact that he's your second boyfriend doesn't mean anything, but the fact that you'll both be 18 does.

You've heard the saying: hindsight is 20/20. There are certain things about life you don't know until you're older. No, that isn't patronizing. It's the truth. You accumulate experience in dealing with people of all kinds, you get experience at work, you continue to learn new things all the time and you won't know just how little you knew at 18 until you're way past 18. It's sort of like looking back today at 17 or 18 at when you were 10 or 11. Same exact thing.

Marriage is only a contract that gives each person certain property / asset rights and a tax deduction. The promise to love and honor each other, you can give to each other without the paperwork. In fact, I'd argue that it takes a lot more commitment to uphold the promise without having the law there to back it up.

Why don't you guys do a few trial years. Live together and see how you get along, how you will handle the daily life i.e. the finances, someone getting ill, bills, etc. and see. You can always get married, but if you marry and you end up divorcing, it'll cost you both dearly emotionally and financially. To give you an example: What will you do IF, after you both graduate, your then husband says: I don't want to work. You work and he won't go and get a job? So then you have rent to pay, utilities to pay, etc. .. so then you go out and get a job and you support him while he sits at home and watches TV. I'm not saying that he'll turn out like that, but what if he does? What will you do?

Get a taste of "real life" first and then decide. If you two are meant to stay together, you'll work through it all. Don't get married because it sounds like the cool thing to do. Any adult or parent here can tell you that marriage is less about love and much more about work. Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that you two want to be married, but I'd caution you to be sure that you're doing it for the right reasons. The fact that you love each other isn't enough when the reality of daily life sets in. What you will be asked to prove is your sense of responsibility, reliability, dependability, trustworthiness, ability to hold down a well paying job and lots more... that's a tall agenda at 18.

Answer 2

I'm young too, only 19. I went away to college for a year. Let me tell you about the long term couples (2 years +) from my graduating class. NONE are still together a year after we graduated because you change so much. 2 were engaged when we graduated, one went ahead and got married and are now divorced the other broke it off when they realized how college life is. You meet so many new people and grow up so much in just one year, living on your own is hard and you will change. You may not change together. The couple that got married were both really great kids, they hit college and the guy just wanted to drink beer all day and not work. She was working and paying their bills and tuition, because most parents cut you off once married, he was getting drunk and cheating on her because he '"deserved" to see what else was out there and experience college life to the fullest. Now she is a divorcee expecting her first child.

Wait, if it really is meant to be then dating for a few years won't kill you, but it will give you the oppurtunity to grow into your own person while getting married doesn't let you have that freedom. You don't want to resent your husband for holding you back.

Answer 3

Sure it means something. Two people need a long time to get to know each other. Nothing worse than getting married too soon, only to find out you really don't even like each other.
This does happen. You are still finding out who you are if you are so young. A long courtship is required. You should also refrain from intimacy until you do marry someone. That way you don't have unwanted baby's and no disease either. You really don't know what love is yet either. When you are going to commit to someone for the rest of your life you had best take a long, long time deciding. A good place to read about love is the Holy Bible go to 1 Cor ch 13.

Answer 4

It takes MORE than love to make a marriage. Does he work and have a car, a place of his own a job and support himself? If not how do you know he will be able to handle the responsibilities until he has lived on his own for a while?Sex and shacking are out of the question.You need to see one another as you really are at your best and worst.ALso, do you have the SAME moral values and religious beliefs, if not how will you raise the kids to believe? How does he know you can handle responsibility if you have never lived on your own and supported yourself? Can you do this with no college degree? A high school diploma won't do it anymore.A few bucks over the minimum wage is a joke.It is under the poverty level.You have a lot to think about.Only after 6 months, you might love one another, sure, but the thing is it takes MORE than love. Every newly wed couple I have seen "loved' one another, but they didn't all stay married.

Answer 5

Marriage is a Lifetime commitment. You two rarely understand each other well, i don't doubt your love. However as both of you grow your/his thinking will also change, so why rush into marriage? Aren't you two now together? Divorce rate is going up because of rashness. I personally recommend after both of you start working a few years then you think about marriage, at that point of time you two are much stable and mature.

In addition, marriage will also restrict freedom, more endurance and understanding from both side. Some of the couple still unable to foresee that. Ask yourself this one question, when he is in a wrong, are you willing to acknowledge as if it is yours? If yes, it would be better (but that would happen a lot of times), if not, wait a while more.

Answer 6

Why not get engaged and then go to college together and then once finished from there then start planning a marriage. I got married when I was 26 and life was not any eaiser. No matter how old you are there will always be the ups and downs just need to have the right state of mind to deal with them. Good luck to you but just remeber if it is true love it will last married or not.

Answer 7

You really should wait a year or two til you both get college behind you, or, until you both get a good job. This will also give you time to see what it is like in the real World when you have to be on your own. Hopefully, things will work out. If you love each other, a couple of years won't matter. Good luck.

Answer 8

There is a whole world of stress, work, doubt and struggle ahead for you both if you decide to be together.

Talk about the future in all seriousness. If he can only get work flipping burgers, are you willing to work at some janitor job to make ends meet and both of you still feel as you do now?

School life is fantasy. Real life can be brutal at times. So be sure if you have found the right man to stick by you. The cost of a wrong choice can hurt you and him for years.

Answer 9

Yeah - it means that if you really love him and it's really a mature love (instead of teenage "I'll never love anyone else but you!" infatuation), then wait.

If it's really love, you'll still be together and can get married in a few years. After you have both finished college or started careers. After you've both matured.

If it's infatuation, and you mature and discover that you've grown into different people, then you don't have to worry about the legalities of a divorce.

Answer 10

Please wait. Your way too young. You don't have to break up, just don't get married right now. Just enjoy each other and make sure. Yeah, you say your sure, but your not even 18. You just don't know how hard it is to be married. It sounds good, and it can be, but its also a lot of work. Marriage isn't as easy as you think. So, just do as you are doing and take your time.