How do I deal with a co-worker that's constantly demeaning me & calling me names?

Question

Our boss thinks its amusing and doesn't intervene. This co-worker is constantly arguing with me. If I try to suggest a better way to do something, he gets a bad attitude, starts yelling at me. When our UPS driver comes to pick up our packages, he makes sure to make fun of me in front of him. We have a new employee, with whom I get along with very well, and everytime he hears us laughing or talking, he makes a comment about how we are in love, starts mocking our laughter and calling us boyfriend and girlfriend. I just tell him I know it's hard for him to recognize when two people get along. How can I keep him from getting under my skin?? How can I get him to just leave me alone?? How can I get my boss to get a backbone and intervene???

Answer 1

I caught one who bothered me a lot at work outside off the company premises and then proceeded to give him a serious attitude adjustment. He got a broken nose, a cracked rib and a missing tooth.

You see, on the company's property, he was a bully because the owner of the company was his uncle.

Answer 2

The boss wont do anything. I think he just has a sort of inflactulation with you, but too shy to say anything so he is trying to knock you down a peg and bring you down to his level. Just play the game and get him back with his own medicine, but be smart about it.

As for the yelling when you suggest a better way i guess "better" is a term that has a few perspectives to it. While decorating a room one way looks good to you it may not to him, this is natural for co-workers to differentiate on opinions and over time you will hopefully develop the skills to deal with that.

Also if he starts teasing you about being boyfriend and girlfriend you can either deny it or just say, "yeah we went out last night, it was good fun". He can only get a raise from you if you keep fighting it, but as soon as you say that he will have nothing.

Either that or come back with something smarter, try not to hit below the belt though, even tho your pissed at him there is nothing gained from that.

Answer 3

You say this person is arguing with you, Well , you must be arguing back with him. It takes two to tango. Be professional in your job. You are there to work, not to build up your social life. If anyway possible, ignore this person, and do not talk to him, unless it is absolutely necessary. Be a little thick skinned, and when he starts aggravating you, just think of something else. He can only aggravate you if you let him. Eventually, he will leave you alone, and will start respecting you, but you can not keep engaging in this silly game with him. Remember that your life will change when you change. You can only control what you do. He is reacting to what you do. If you act differently, he will act differently. If you act maturely, you will reap the benefits. And eventually, he is the one that will look like a jerk. Remember what the Bible says: "I can do all things through God who strengthens me." When he starts pestering you, keep your mouth shut, pray and put God in your mind and your heart. God will give the courage and the strength that you need to go on. Let God be your boss. He will intervene for you. God bless you.

Answer 4

Demeaning Attitude

Answer 5

I've had the same experience as Flora Post. A co-worker used to constantly call me by another co-worker's name, so I started calling her by another co-worker's name. I don't remember her ever getting my name wrong after that.

Answer 6

It sounds like you are very attractive and they love to pick on you to make the office monotony more bearable. I used to be very attractive too and worked in a largely male populated office. Finally I went and bought myself a" fake ring "and announced I was happily engaged to a great very successful guy. I began to back away from them socially. I treated them with more "distant respect" but not cold. They do not have to know all about your social life and they will respect you more because of it. Try to limit the teasing and joking so much, keep topics to things related to work. They will get the message. If you have a few that are persistent then make it all very clear to your boss.

Answer 7

First do your homework on line about the laws of harassment, they are there to protect you. Than, ask to talk to your boss in private. Tell him how you feel, and because you know your legal rights (cuz you did your homework) you and he will know what you are talking about. Tell him that if he refuses to do something about it you will have to take further action by going over his head. But remember this, he can only handle a problem if he knows there is one and he knows it bothers you, and according to the laws you only need to tell him once. You may want someone in there as a witness, someone you trust, as to what was said so he can't turn it around on you.

Answer 8

Face it, your boss will not intervene so you will have to take matters into your own hands. I was in a similar situation and I CONFRONTED the moron. I spoke in a civil matter informing the individual if they made fun or tried to demean me again I would report them immediately. I would threaten them with sexual harassment. Needless to say, that ended the situation.

Answer 9

Go over your bosses head. I'm sure he has a boss. Talk to that person and let them know your boss just laughs about it.The guy will probably never stop because Hun the word boy is short for...........immature. Just try to ignore him.

Answer 10

I guess poisoning his coffee is out of the question. How about some chocolaty X-Lax brownies? Follow him down the hall laughing as he is running for the john.

Seriously, your boss is just as unprofessional as he is. That behaviour should never be tolerated in a workplace.