My wife and I was just watching TV when a guy killed his wife because she cheated on him. I told my wife I would do the same "maybe I said that cause of heat of passion and anger I don't know"... Was this wrong to say? She is pissed I have a fealing I shouldnt have said that but its not ok to cheat.
2007-06-17 13:59:30 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well if you mean it literally... then es it is wrong to say so you psycho...
If you we're just being light hearted abou but letting her know that you wopuld be really really upset, then she has over-reacted.
People say "i'd kill you if you did that" all the time, they dont necessarily mean they would literally kill them though.
2007-06-17 14:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
very wrong she could get you arrested with a felony charge and since you put it on here they can take you computer and find it on your hardrive and convict you with a felony. She can then divorce before or afterwards and even get a lot of alimony out of the deal.
and not to mention you must not love her if you would say something like that. also, if you care about your feelings more than her life you have a serious issue and you are psychotic in the most honest way!!
GET HELP and NEVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN TO ANYONE!
I feel bad for her and i hope you have no kids, because if you could possibly do that to your wife then theres no boundries for you and that.
You need to get help and move out until you are helped and change!!!
Besides what gives you the right to even do such an act? Seriously the more I think about it the more i wish I new who you were so I would call the cops.
You said it in anger you say-dude what the ****
Like I said earlier, go get help and leave and don't come back into you do. If you actually think that way and that is the pattern your mind goes in if you get upset with something then you need to change that. You can end up hurting her or someone else one day. Then you will go to jail, and could have avoided the whole thing, by not being married at all!!!
2007-06-17 14:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that was so wrong on more levels than I can possibly explain here.
The bottomline is that you told your wife that she should be afraid for her personal safety if she ever cheated on you or if you even THINK that she cheated on you. If I were your wife, I'd be afraid for my life now. Because this opens all kinds of questions. Can she trust you? Are you the possessive, abusive, jealous and uncontrollable anger type, deep down inside? What if she has lunch, coffee, dinner with a male acquaintance and it's work-related and otherwise completely innocent? And you found out about it? And you just jumped to the wrong conclusion? Then what?
Better would have been to say that you'd be very upset, heartbroken, angry, devastated, hurt, etc. if she ever cheated on you.
...and, just throwing this thought out here: What about if you were to cheat?
...and: you mention that you made this remark in the heat of passion, anger? So you get that passionate and angry just by watching a TV program? Angry enough that you threaten your own wife with death? No wonder she is upset now. Her trust in you is probably shaken to the core. I'm surprise she hasn't walked out on you and gotten a restraining order. I mean you made a clear death threat!!!
You need to make this better and get control of your anger issues.
2007-06-17 14:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, your question seems to have attracted all the hard hearted unsympathetic people on here. Ignore them. I don't want to claim to be cold and unemotional, but I have to admit I ended up feeling like that towards my ex. I'm not saying I can speak for her, but I know when I was in a similar place I was depressed and miserable and hated my partner with a passion but didn't have the guts to leave him. I hope for your sake she's not feeling like that. I wish I could give you some brilliant solutions, but the only one I can think of is to push for marriage counselling. It doesn't sound like you have much of a marriage left at this stage, so if she's not prepared to do her bit towards holding it together then you really haven't been left with any option other than divorce. Good luck with her. And good luck with a safe deployment - no matter what happens with her your boys will want you back safe and sound.
2016-05-18 02:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never OK to threaten someones life.
You can tell her that you would be heartbroken and hurt beyond belief. To be honest with you, you can't even imagine what you would feel until you've faced it. It's so complicated.
Use this opportunity to talk about ways that you will both work to prevent this kind of horrible thing happening in your marriage. It could be YOU some day who is tempted to betray your wife. It starts with simple steps over the line and can quickly get way out of hand if you don't stop it.
A few links below to give you both some ideas.
2007-06-17 15:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my husband said that to me, I'd seriously start to doubt where he was at mentally. Yes, cheating is wrong. But if you actually think you would kill your wife if she cheated on you, you probably need some serious help. She's right to be pissed at you.
There are only 2 options if someone cheats on you: work it out or break up. Killing someone is not an option unless you're a psycho.
2007-06-17 14:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, if your gut instinct is yelling at you that you messed up then you probably did. From the sounds of it, its not the message of "I think this is wrong" that is the important part. To you its actually important, but there are two bigger issues at heart:
1) You just issued a one sided ultimatum in a two sided partnership. "I will end your life if this happens" First off, we are only human. By exerting force (verbally or physically) we are damaging our relationships. Remember that your wife is an individual who "cosigned" into your marriage. Now her partner has issued a death warrant on her head for a crime not yet committed nor entertained by her. Is that fair to her? Flip the situation, consider yourself in her shoes. Also consider that she actually did have the ability to do exactly what was stated. Is that situation fair to you?
2) By stating a direct negative response to an unforeseen event you have closed any doors by which she (or you) will need to return to your partner later on if any other problems can occur. I am not only refering to infidelity alone but also any other problems that occur. A thought might be running through her head "What would happen if she lost a credit card? Would you do the same to her then?" Often this type of reaction will case a partner to withdraw their want to communicate with their partner and then more trouble will follow as expectations from both sides will not be met.
Its hard to see into the head of another person. But our gut feelings are based off of what we learn as children, what we continue to learn now about human relationships and interaction. Interestingly, they are very accurate.
The best course of action is to quickly (I mean tonight!) repent of this action and try and turn it around back to her. Make her the spotlight in a positive sense. Explain to her how much she actually means to you. And show her how much she means to you. Tell her you were wrong in the way that you presented the message and give her the actual message 'I don't agree with cheating' and then listen to her side of the story. Take notes if you have to and confirm information. More often than not you will find out how deeply she was hurt. Make up for it now!
-- ShadowGate
2007-06-17 14:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by ShadowGate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that you thought that she would cheat on you, hurt her feelings.
She loves you and that is why she reacted so strongly.
Explain to her why you said this, tell her that it is the passion and the fire that you hold for her that made you say this. That you love her with such ferocity that life without her would mean ........................you fill this in.
I agree, cheating is against everything I believe in, and against God, but somewhere you have to draw the line about murder. Two wrongs do not make a right, let God handle the big stuff, and everything else will take care of itself.
2007-06-17 14:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not OK to cheat, and I believe your wife already knows that. She did not need you to threaten to kill her to get your point across. Plus, you were watching a MOVIE...chill man! Don't say stuff like that when it's not even warranted. You should apologize ASAP.
2007-06-17 14:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If every person who ever said this was , sentenced to jail .. there would not be many free people. Saying it as a flip comment is one thing... saying it and really meaning it ....is well a sure sign of trouble in you and the relationship.
People say if you .... ( fill in the blank with everything from farting to cheating) I will kill you. It is an overused expression.
Apologize and get on with your lives.
2007-06-17 14:18:06 · answer #10 · answered by lori s 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes it was wrong for you to say such a thing to her. Now days you have to watch what you say to your better half, when divorce comes around that could be used against you. People need to realize that there are others out there that could treat you better then past relationships, its not worth killing someone over. You do need to apologize to her, but remember she may hold that against you.
2007-06-17 14:14:48 · answer #11 · answered by Theresa B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋