How Many Wives or Fiances........?

Question

control their partners money or the main household expenses?

I've heard of women having their husbands direct deposit their paychecks into their joint account and then the women letting the spouse only use a certain amount each week.

Opinions? Is this OK? What do you think?

I'm not meaning treating these men like children either. I'm talking this is a fair relationship, but maybe the man is bad with money, paying bills on time or is too busy to manage the assets. The women contributes equally too

Answer 1

You answered your own question w/ " Maybe the man is bad with money." Or maybe the man doesn't want to deal with it.
Nothing wrong with it. Whoever manages it well should manage it. But should keep the other abreast in case something happens.

Answer 2

Money is a very sensitive issue in marriages.

Some financial advisors recommend the husband and wife have separate bank accounts, with perhaps a third joint one to handle bills and other shared expenses. Each spouse would contribute a set percentage of their paychecks to the third account, and then use it for household bills. My parents have done it that way with no problems. Another way it can be done is to delegate certain bills like the phone bill to a specific spouse, and then ask for help if you don't have quite enough to pay it on your own.

If you can't open a joint household checking account, then at least start a joint savings in case of general emergencies. I just feel like having one spouse put their money into the other spouse's account and then having that spouse control the flow of that money is going to cause strain.

Answer 3

Controllling is NEVER okay, and neither spouse should ever get an 'allowance'!
It IS best to have one account when married - all the money goes in, and all the money for bills and stuff gets paid out of one place. In our case, I do the bookkeeping, just simply because I have more time - and inclination to do so. As with a lot of men, they typically 'forget' or just don't realize how important it is to pay bills on time, for example. And, if things are tight in the money dept., it's just a matter of communication between the spouses for the person doing the books to let the other one know that not much should be spent for a time, for example.

Answer 4

I control MOST of the money in the house! My husband makes it and I spend it! LOL No.. really I am JUST KIDDING!

My husband is the "bread winner" in the family and I am a SAHM. One of my MANY responsibilities is keeping the finances in order. That includes paying the bills, depositing the money and keeping our debt a secret!! (This time I am NOT joking!) Really.. he doesnt WANT to know.. he says that it will only "depress" him so I keep it to myself and we pay it off a little at a time. In fact, I am VERY VERY happy right now b/c we just paid off about $11,000 of it last week!! WOOHOO!! That was a HUGE chunck of it! I'm hoping by the end of summer we will be DEBT FREE!

Sorry.. I'm rambling. Like I was saying, I do "control" the money in the house but I dont like the word CONTROL b/c I dont think its really appropriate. I dont give him an "allowance" or anything like that. I mean, its HIS MONEY that HE earned with HIS hard work and I feel like if he wants to buy something (as long as our bills are paid) then he should be able to, no questions asked!

In the same respect, his money is MY money b/c we are married and work as a partnership and although I dont actually contribute financially, I do contribute in MANY other ways and if I want to spend some of the $$ then I am "allowed" to also!

I think its PERFECTLY ok. I think that one person SHOULD always be "in control." And by this I simply mean handling the finances. If BOTH people are constantly depositing, withdrawling, paying bills, etc... things get confusing, bills get paid twice or not at all, checkbooks get balanced wrong, etc. So its simply more efficiant and more practical to leave it to ONE member of the household!

Answer 5

Most mature people do the 'joint acct'..as two become one when married or taking the step. I believe whoever is most capable or wants to pay the bills, should. But I ALSO think that both parties should be very involved, as I have seen couples completely fall apart when death or divorce happens, and one doesn't know a THING about how to manage the checkbook, paying bills, etc.. I'm all for three accts..his, hers, theirs..if they both contribute..otherwise joint is great and should cover all...maturity means knowing your limits on frivolous spending.

Answer 6

That's how our house is. I am a stay at home mom and my husband's paycheck is direct deposited into our joint account. However, he can use as much money as he needs. I don't limit his use, he does. He works away from home all week home. Sun. evening thru Thurs. afternoon he is away. My inlaws have their own accounts and my fil pays all of the bills around the house. My mil only pays her bills, ie. credit cards, truck and insurance. I don't think that is okay. I mean they have been married for a long time and still don't share finances.

Answer 7

Depends on how they both feel about the set up. Personally, I do all the bills. I check the accounts, send in payments, etc., but I've never told my husband he could spend this amount or that amount. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that myself. For me, that would feel like treating him like a child. Same thing would go if the tables were flipped.

Answer 8

Well its ok if the person is keep he/she end of the deal. Because I gave my whole check to my wife . No problem , until my child support wasnt getting paid and all other bill were. Most of the time the woman is overseeing the money. Nothing wrong with it she just must do it right ...

Answer 9

Yep that's how we've always handled finances.

A joint account for bills that we each contribute to and 2 seperate savings accounts for our own "spending money".

Seems fair. As long as each person is happy with the arrangement.

Answer 10

things like this should be decided jointly. what is good for one couple isnt for the next. if that is what works for them, maybe because the husband is bad with money, then that is fine. a marriage is full of compromises and negotiations, whatever floats their boats. Funny thing is my fiance doesn't spen money on anything except going for the bills he or i write them, he signs them (meaning checks) I go shopping for everything we need. I don't know many men that like to shop. So i see it the other way around women need the money because they arent gonna sit around eating chips for dinner and drinking a six pack of beer and think its fine.