what event or situation in YOUR life do you consider the most sad and how do you cope?

Question

mine was my mother's death a year and half ago.. and I cry or pray or both..

Answer 1

The death of my husband, because it's left my child without a father. I can tell hiim about his dad, show him photographs, our things we liked, etc., although there isn't a replacement.
I dated one man, about three years, and broke it off because he seemed to be competing with my son, confusing him and discouraging our natural love.(my son's and me, to be there for him)
I wouldn't sacrifice my child for a partner whom isn't the parent of my child. He didn't do bad parenting, he was immature, and self=focused, two years older than me with good employment. He loved adventure, art, sometimes music, travel, and spending. He liked some nice food.
I sensed I needed to end the relation, and he pursued. I went to the deaconess at a church I sometimes attend, I like and trust her. I explained the relation, the few years, she knew my son, and she said "never let this man in your house again. It isn't good for your home, which is first in your life. You have struggled, your son deserves a steady home, and this man has and can make up prioritiies to make you and your son almost last on the list of your own lives, and everything he wants first." To maybe marry him, and become stuck in this, where he will then be unfaithful, your son already doesn't trust him, and he will rule your home.
It's a pattern with some men, and he is one of these. I thanked her, because i did discuss this in counselling, never got a straight answer, was told to take things slow, my son and i needed a good, prompt answer and the deaconess provided me with it.
Replacing my husband is the most sad and toughest thing I need to do. For years, it wasn't the thing I wanted to do, although with my son, I need to get a replacement.(his girl isn't enough, he WANTS a father. Engaged to a girl, he WANTS a father. Every day, he misses his father and wants a father. I cannot hurry because i don't want someone whom (and the illegal drugs) smokes or drinks excessively. I don't want someone immature whom attends rock concerts, and doesn't appreciate art and music. My husbands' work was blue collar, although his home interests weren't the television. He loved horticulture, opera, furnishings from Europe, etc. He just looked for and got the things he wanted.
I don't meet many men I like to talk with. They are in a hurry, stressed, and have to prove things I don't want. Someone close to my age is nice, as my husband was older. He has to make me happy in a way I am comfortable with him as a member of our family, which includes my son.
I pursue the things I want, and each time wish I did have a father for my child. After the experience with this man, I am convinced I discouraged my son from trusting me, and caused resentment, and cannot put him through this, date by date.
I am dedicated to providing the things my son needs, addressing his needs. In relating to this man, and the things we wanted in our lives, "being Philip's mother" was the thing which always was the top priority. Never to overshadow his own wishes, it was my personal wish, I always did have, always loved and lived with the assumption it was easy, until my husband passed.
It is my #1 priority, and I think everyone I have ever met knows this. I would like a replacement for my husband, although he could be anyone. I prefer a sense of humor, even if is all his. I am not lonely, I have things I want to do with my life. I like fashion, and want to be able to save the way my husband taught me. (for this reason alone, I needed to end with the other) I think it is my responsibility to my son to provide a two parent home. In good time, Allah will rule, and I will get my husband.
From now to then, I want to be friendly, although I don't want to search. It's my age, my intelligence, my personal preferences.
( I believe I can go out and find a person in one to two weeks if I wanted to. I do know how to do this. It is the person wouldn't be an acceptable replacement, and wouldn't be good for our home.)
I attend community things, functions and dinners, although like everyone in my situation, am tired of the time=consuming things like women want a man with his own home ( I dated a man with four houses, his children didn't want him to re=marry, his wife was deceased, and his youngest son crashed a car a month, came over at 6:00 am in the morning, I lived in a different part of the house, although hearing him yelling and swearing at 6:00 am almost to crying did upset us both, walked in on all our dinners, broke locks on the house, and did things until I walked away. He tried to unite us by gathering every willing member of his family at his wife's grave, and introducing me hopefully as his new wife, and we gave a prayer for us and her. I was interested in this man, and he was tired of every woman in town after him for a free meal=ticket. He was older like my husband, planted tulip bulbs, we took nice vacations, two to three days, and talked about our interests. He didn't like the ocean, and has a large family from Minnesota. Everything in the town is named after his family. He has five or six brothers. (His nephew, an honors student, was murdered in a parking lot following graduation as we broke up. He found me to tell me, as we cancelled our trip to Minnesota a few months earlier) I kept his ring and a car he gave me. He gave my son sneakers he'd always wanted, they were almost $130, with checks on them, my husband would have loved the pattern of the shoes, although I would have gotten them for $89 from FootAction. I got an older model car just like his, and drove it for years) I got my license with him, in his state. i carry one photograph of me with his family, in the backyard of the house he lived in. It doesn't show all the flowers, the wraparound porch, the foxglove trees, and the spruced up area in the front for the guests.
I eventually will find someone to replace my husband, although I cannot tear up someone's life. It was exactly like "Breakfast at Tiffany's". With so many sons, they dressed nice, the youngest wouldn't allow it.
I don't want to go through this, only to find two daughters he hasn't spoke to in years, and a rebellious son willing to torch the house to protest his dad's remarriage.
I went to Sicily, and visited my husband's fathers country.

Answer 2

My mom's death was a year ago this month but the saddest thing that every happened to me was losing two children, a son and a daughter. The way I have coped so long is to keep a journal that I write to them. It has been many years since I lost them but I still feel the pain so I talk to them through my journal

Answer 3

When my son unsuccessfully committed suicide with he was 14. I was so devastated waiting to see if he would pull through or not. He was my buddy and we had done a lot of things together. Could not imagine living without him Carried a lot of guilt and still do because I believed I was at fault. Thankfully he recovered, served four years in the Marine Corps as an infantry man and is now a Corrections Officer with his brother, He makes more money than I ever hoped to.
Well adjusted and is a real good person. How lucky I was.

Answer 4

When my daughter passed away from stillbirth. I believe everything happens for a reason. and when terrible things happen you must learn from them. It took me a long time to understand why this happened to me but now I do understand that me at 18 being a young mother with no income was not the life I wanted for me or my child. when I see kids running around wild with no parent figure. I wonder would that have been my child because I was to busy working.
I believe in the otherside, so I know in my heart that my daughter is protected and happy, watching over me.

One thing I do know is that everything in life is a lesson and if you dont learn from them the same things will continue to happen until a change is made.

and when a love one leave us they're not really gone theyre just going home.

Answer 5

I think the toughest thing for me was when my younger brother who had just finished his residency as a surgeon got into a car accident and was left paralyzed from the neck down. Over the course of the next two years he struggled with his recovery, often times begging me to help him end his life. We talked almost everyday and on one cold November day he called me and said he was going to end his life that day. I didn't yell at him or scold him about how our mom and dad would never understand. I simply told him that I would remember him always and that I loved him. He was able to kill himself that day and yes I miss him dearly. I cope by knowing that in death he is no longer in pain or paralyzed and in a better place.

Answer 6

Well, it is a cumulative of situations. Starting with the dishonesty from my husband in our marriage. A bitter separation, a short-lived reconciliation with more lies about trying marital counseling, his leaving me while pregnant, and then being handed divorce papers during my high-risk pregnancy. I cried every single day. Tears that no one should ever cry, from deep within my soul I wept. I am still trying to cope. I seem to have lost myself. Every day I try to cope. To me, that type of abandonment is one of the worst pains.

Answer 7

I was raped and abused by a priest for 2 years when I was five. I'm still trying to figure how to cope with it. Any suggestion? I'm open to em'

Answer 8

the most horrible time in my life was when my mom died. 12 yrs ago on my birthday. i attended a support group, i prayed,cried,screamed and went to the cemetary everyday and talked to her. it took more than a year for me to get somewhat back to normal.

Answer 9

The deaths of two close friends last year.

I cry & mourn them & honour their memories...

Answer 10

Yeah I guess it when i lose a most cherished or valuable "gem". like a loved one!!! but i quikly learn to refocus on the future and let the past be the past!!!