This girl is sad because she is being forced to wed a guy she doesn't even know. She's nice and lives with her parents, and is afraid to speak out against them. She had repeatedly said no to the engagement and will continue to do so, but is sadden by the fact that her parents is nagging her about why she wont marry the guy. Of course her parents is doing this for money purposes since the are not americans and have a different cultural tradition. Wouldn't you say this is wrong but she has no other option but to move out ans she knows this. She will not move out because she has no job and loves her parents too much, but she had said she will continue refusing the engagement. I know deep inside she just wants to leave and go elsewhere but she's too weak to even try. so what can I do to cheer her up? I think she is really sad and depressed.
2007-06-17 11:33:55 · 4 answers · asked by chimichanga 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think you should give her the nerve to talk to her parents because if she doesn't love the guy they will just divorce so why should they spend the money. She should be able to chose her husband but if that is not what they believe then never mind. Just tell her you need to talk to ypur parents as soon as possible to tell them not to waste money on the wedding because chances are we will wind up divorced.
2007-06-17 11:41:49 · answer #1 · answered by Ciara:] 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really nice that you want to do something to take her mind off things and I do think you should, but it is not going to resolve her troubles. Yes, take her somewhere, movies, the park, dinner, anywhere she likes to go. But more importantly I think you need to try and help her with her problem, if you feel you can. I realize there are different cultures and different ways of doing things, but this is also a different century and young people these days are taking different paths than their parents and grandparents did regardless of where in the world they live.
I suggest, and this is entirely up to you, that you speak with her about how she can get out of that situation. Maybe if you talk about it, she will feel empowered enough to say or do something more than just say no to the engagement. If she can say no to the engagement, then why can she not take it further than that? I have had friends in this same situation and basically it came down to being strong, standing their ground and speaking their mind. One friend was disowned by her family and had to leave, but today she is a better person. She is married to someone she loves very much, working and has two beautiful childern, but most of all she is happy because she made the decision on who to be with and how to live her life. Being disowned may happen to your friend too if she stands her ground, but I just know she will be okay and a much happier person in the future. And in time her parents will probably come around and see that.
You are in a tough situation, but you need to be supportive without being overbearing. Maybe you can offer to help her with a place to live or a job if she decides to leave. If she has a plan and something to go to it will be easier to make the decision to get out. Good luck.
2007-06-17 12:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her out to do things to get mind of these issues. Maybe you can go see a movie or play in the area. Or, you can go shopping. Just try to distract her mind. I think it will help.
2007-06-17 11:38:01 · answer #3 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would have a girlie night with her and try and see if she cannot sit down with the guy and tell him that she is finding it hard to find a reason to marry him .she cannot go on with this meaningless charade does he even love her? if he does then he can let her go.they can even still be friends.
2007-06-17 11:49:56 · answer #4 · answered by ustar_mac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋