how do you get rid of bitterness in your heart?

Question

This bad thing happened to me and i was let down and hurt by someone i loved, everytime i see them i feel upset, not angrey anymore but really sad and bitter, i hate feeling like this, i know its wrong but the pain just wont go away, what can i do.xx

thanks aunty em im going to try that coz i hate feeling this way. xx

dont need counselling just a bit of advice thats all

thanks kathy, think thats a great idea xx

Answer 1

honestly, the first step is to truly forgive that person, which means that after you forgive them (and no you don't have to tell them that you forgive them, you just need to forgive them in your heart and mind) you need to let it go.
I don't know your exact situation, but I do know that often in life we feel hurt and let down by someone when we have expectations for them. We expect them to do things or behave in a certain way, and when they don't behave that way we are left feeling hurt and betrayed.
Although it sucks, forgiveness and time are the only ways to heal your heart whenever it has been hurt! Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

Hello!
You know you must be very smart, you have answered your question with in your question. I will help you find your answer though. You said that you have bitterness because this person hurt you. So the hurt comes out every time you see them, causing the bitterness. Lets be honest here, as long as you care about this person this is going to continue.

The only thing you can do here, is let go. To allow yourself to heal. The problem with being bitter is that you don't allow yourself to fully move on and bring closure to the situation. And because of this closure is replaced with bitterness. Who wants to be bitter? Let him go. He doesn't sound like he is worth holding onto anyways. He may be a great guy, but it sounds like he tossed your feelings to the wind. I understand we as people all make mistakes, but for you, you have to let go. There is no other way. Then it will not matter if he sits next to you in a group, and both of you can enjoy a group conversation.

I know how hard this is. I have had to do this, with a woman who I was married with for six years. She came out of the blue and said oh by the way I have a boyfriend and you need to find a new place to live. So I can feel your pain. It wasn't easy, but I have two children, that needed to see me be strong. They also needed to see me be both a mature and a better person than she was. So this forced me to, even though I didn't want to.

I hope this helps you. I know it is not the easy route, but it is the right one to go down. I am sorry you have to go through all of this. I wish I could only help more! Good luck! Learn from this situation, so that you may never find yourself here again!
Sincerely,
Michael

Answer 3

Bitterness is a form of self-destruction - it doesn't do any good as I am sure you are finding out. The trouble is that you have set your neural pathways on this A to B Bitterness Route and you need to re-route. Everytime you see or think of the object of your ire, repeat the words 'There is someone I used to love, they let me down but I don't care anymore, I have moved on' or words to that effect. Eventually neural pathway will go from A to C for Celebrate bypassing B for Bitterness. It sounds rather lame but given time and dedication it works!

Answer 4

Hi!

Have you told them how hurt they made you feel? If this person did not intend to hurt you, knowing how you felt could lead you both to reconciliation. If it was their intention to hurt you, then the best way to counter their barb is to let them see that you have moved on and will never allow them to hurt you again. Forgiveness may be part of this - but that's your shout. Bitterness will hurt you more than them - so for your sake not theirs try to let it go.

Good wishes.

Answer 5

hi i am very sorry that you have been let down by someone you loved and trusted...that is the very worst type of betrayel.
It sounds like you need councelling...it may help to someone professional about this, see your doctor and he or she will refer you.
Don't let what this person did rule the rest of your life....this person isn't worth it, you deserve much better in life. strive to make your life a happy one, try to surround yourself with possitive happy people, try to make time to do things that you enjoy doing.
you could also use your experiences to help others - maybe not now but in the future.
but most importantly please seek help from your gp, stay strong and remember that you are not alone.
take care and i wish you well.
lots of love
nicola

Answer 6

Ask them to forgive you for the hurt you have held against them for hurting you.

I did this with someone who hurt me as a child. I held those feelings inside for nearly 25 years. Last time I spoke to them they found it difficult to talk with me. I was able to say to them that I hold nothing against them for anything that has been said or done.

The longer you ignore these feelings the deeper the root becomes and the harder to destroy.

Jesus showed us the greatest example on the cross when they tried to feed him with gall (Bitterness) and He refused to be bitter. His last words were

"Father Forgive them for they know not what they do."

"LOVE" is unconditional

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel!
I don't think there is a magical formula, the anger has gone, hopefully the sadness and bitterness will go in time, may take a while though but have Patience!

As for the pain.................there is no cure for that!

Answer 8

associate this person with something positive, rather than negative, put a word to the name IE: Peter: ice-cream, or something that you know will make you smile. You will waste too much energy feeling bitter, I have learned in life to accept the things I cant change, you'll feel much better too.

Answer 9

Time heals all wounds, in the mean time keep busy with friends and get into hobby's then forgive and go on with your life. Just because you are not going together anymore does not mean you cannot be just friends, makes things easier

Answer 10

Who is this bitterness hurting?

Only you.

Look toward tomorrow with open arms. Embrace the future. Learn from yesterday.