heres a poem i wrote how do you like it???

Question

Though I Never Met You


When I finally met your family you had already passed
So young you were and it all happened so fast
You were only 16 so much life ahead
Then the day after easter they got that phone call
saying you were dead
I did not know you then i wasnt even around
But from what i hear of you your charector was so profound
I see your families pain its like a part of them is missing
And i hear all the stories about you as theyre reminiscing
They tell me how good you were and how much fun you had
They really do love you i havent heard anything bad
The night before your cousins wedding i remember the awareness
how you were not going to be there and all of that unfairness
Tears started to fill my eyes and the pain i began to bare
I couldnt hold it in anymore as i said my little prayer
God how could this happen i cried inside my head
This boy was only 16 and now that he is dead
His family goes on without him and feels this pain within there soul
And now within my heart i feel this empty hole.
He should be here with us to you thats all i can say
He should be celebrating with us on this very special day
But the idea that you had is much bigger than i had planned
And you had to call him home and that i understand
i felt a little better as i talked to God that night
and i felt this overwhelming peace that everything will be alright
the wedding was very beautiful with lots of celebration
then all of a suddon i had this temptation
i looked around the room to admire everyone
and i couldnt help but notice i was having so much fun
and as i looked my eyes fell upon a lonely empty chair
and i had a sense of sadness that nothing could compare
i couldnt help but smile and shed a little tear
for i thought of you that moment and knew that you were near
its funny how things turn out and who will bring you through
though we never met each other i still feel the loss of you
and sooner or later my life will come to an end
and when that happens i will definately meet you then.

Dedicated to David Rock.. Died at 16 the day after easter. Got together with his uncle a year after his death. Though i never met him i know who he is.

i know it may sound amature and i know i am not that good. but i like to write and it was my experience. this really did happen and these are my true feelings about this situation. i thought i would share with you all.

Answer 1

ok that chick is stupid lol
that was a very nice poem i really liked it

Answer 2

I was moved by your eulogy to David Rock. What a horror that he died so young. I'm sorry to say that rhyme doesn't make a poem. If you wrote this is several paragraphs, you would see that it's sort of a rhyming letter to David. There are many awkward constructions, forced because you needed a rhyme. For example, "I still feel the loss of you." No one talks like that. Still, keep trying. Read real poetry. Learn about poetic devices. Perhaps some day you'll actually write a poem.

Answer 3

You did a fine job and it got across the fine boy that David was. I'm sure his family would love to read this

Answer 4

wow... that is really good I loved it... and im not much of a person for these kinda things but it was great.. we lose people we love the ones closest to us seem to go so fast but enjoy the time we do have with them..

Answer 5

That was really heartfelt

Answer 6

Wow is all i can say... U have tallent

Answer 7

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