political correctness or good manners,and respect.?

Question

ive just got back from dropping off freerange farm produce in a local hotel/resturant..anyway this gentleman could see i had my arm's full.
"hang on there darling ill get the door for you"!
so' im pleased for help.
As far as im concerned it was manners.On his part.
after I passed him I said thankyou again.
Im minding my own business .Any way I was stopped by this woman and her friend.
The comment they made kind of annoyed me.
Your american accent !"you are one.of them!"
Well you really should know better,Im trying not to offend,
so I appolagise.Anyway they start having ago at the man that opened the door for me.
there saying how the way he spoke was not appropriate and was demeaning to women.
So I said that I did'nt mind.That it was just good manners, Its how some people are brought up like standing for a pregnant women so she can sit down or for someone elderly... was i right or was i wrong?

hello!it's me thankyou everyone who answered my question,
It's hard to know which way to turn,but I was brought up to use the manner's i was taught,like they say it cost's nothing. AND i think it's called indearments,hope that's right,But I like it ,it's friendly.
And I did say it to the lady's.that i did'nt mind,not that that made any difference at the time.but im glade im not on my own.THANKS.IM GOING TO LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE ON THIS ONE,there are so many nice responces.!!

Answer 1

I've heard it said that it is generally the people who comment upon the lack of other peoples' manners, that have the poorest manners themselves.

Of course, you were correct.

Answer 2

It is true that PC is bull, I mean there are many people who will say one thing but thinking a totally different one just because they "have to". PC is another word for hypocrisy, at least it seems so to me. I really dislike some religious systems and even more when they get in the way of the State and get all mixed up but, and here's the dangerous term, if we can't respect that then we`d live in chaos. There must be some extent of tolerance at least for us to coexist peacefully. I don't think I'm right but I do feel some are wrong because they show hate and many times they don't respect others. I don't know, it's hard to say, it's a complicated issue that cannot be dealt with in a few lines. BTW I'm not an atheist but I'm not a Christian tough I like many of them.

Answer 3

Hmmmmm! Let's pick this apart:

This gentleman was helping you when you were having difficulty. That's good manners.

You were pleased he helped. Again, his good manners that you appreciated and showed that appreciation by saying thank you.

Next:
2 strangers start to give him a hard time about how he was speaking. These women were rude and out of line. It's YOUR place to say if you're offended or not.

If you had told him "Don't address me that way" and they stepped in, then they would have been in the right.

I've held doors for women or another man or helped him/her carry something that was unwieldy, because it's what you should do! And generally I'll say something like "hang on a sec there, son! I'll give you a hand."
If it's a woman, I might say "hang on a sec there, sweetheart! I'll give you a hand."

It's called common courtsey, which not so common anymore, especially in women with an ax to grind.

As it stands, these women were wrong and very rude!
Maybe they thought it would have been better for him to say "YO, bi*ch! I'll get the door for you!" ?

Answer 4

You are right, and those women are rude. However, the rules have changed and aren't just gender based. It's really about making it easier for everybody to get through the door with a minimum of fuss. If the door opens in, and your hands are empty, step in first, then keep it open for whoever is behind you, male of female.

If a man's hands are full, it would be polite and appropriate for a woman to hold the door for him, to be help and speed along everybody getting through the doorway.

Answer 5

Like most things in this country lately Political Correctness has gone from being helpful to over the top.Next time some one quotes those words stand back take a long look at them and you will see a sad person. We don't need Political Correctness to show manners, unless it's to a Political Correct twit,then watch out. YOU ARE RIGHT stay with it.

Answer 6

You're totally right! Political correctness has got way out of control! Manners cost nothing but make a huge difference - he did the right and courteous thing the same way I would hope if it had been a man with his arms full a woman would have held the door open for him. Gender is irrelevant - it's common courtesy.

Answer 7

You were correct in saying thank you and he was being chilvarous by holding the door. Perhaps he shouldn't have called you darlin, it is a bit familiar, but I don't see why the ladies had a problem. Maybe they took it as an insult because no one has ever done for them and they were jealous. I bet that guy will think twice before opening another door and that is sad.

Answer 8

As a bloke I am getting nervous of holding a door open for a woman, as I often get told off for doing so. But I do exactly the same for a man if the door is likely to slam in his face. I do not see how it belittles women if I show some respect for them. It is about time feminists realised that some of us are just trying to be helpful to all people of whatever sex.

Answer 9

Political correctness is the bane of today's society.If they had said anything to me i would have given them an earful in return.
I will always hold a door open for a woman or an elderly lady.I would never let it slam behind me even on a 25 year old man.It's good old fashioned manners.
Would they have preferred it for you to struggle with the door yourself??...Obnoxious people, ignore them.
I'm politically incorrect and proud of it.

Answer 10

Political Correctness is the most annoying thing in the world. This is exactly why you get questions on here asking why people don't hold doors open for people anymore, you fear you might get in trouble.

Aparantly darling is not an acceptable word he should have said "hang on there female member of society can i help you with the door?"

Answer 11

You are right. I always hold doors open for people, even if I don't like the look of them, and no matter what race they may be. (Even though I'm very anti immigration!) But some people are just plain ignorant. They just ignore you, others just let doors go in front of you. So well done to the guy who held the door for you.