has she the right to keep this money...?

Question

I am writing on behalf of a friend..her father died some years a go leaving her mother with quite a few stocks and shares ..and other assests...and her father always told her she would be ok money wise when she was older...she got married last year and her mother gave her quite a lump sum of money...which she put into her bank account..in january this year her mother got short term memory loss...then the doctor decided she would be better off in a nursing home....now there asking her for all her mothers assets and everything..including her stocks and shares....which she as given to them...now she is wondering wether she will have to give them the money her mother gave her before she became ill.......

Answer 1

She could keep all the money--but then she'll have to take care of her mother.

They are asking for the money as a means of paying for her medical expenses.

You should ask her to get a lawyer, and work to keep the "mother's" funds separate from the "daughters" funds. Otherwise, the institution caring for her mother will take all the assets.

If any assets have been transferred back to either the mother, or the institution, the need for a lawyer was much earlier than this! Get one now.

Answer 2

Anyone who says the money is your friend's without understanding more to the story than you have told is incorrect.

First of all - where does your friend live? If she lives in the US, and the mother is going to be getting Medicaid to stay in the nursing home, there is a lookback period of 5 years that any money given away by the mother can be re-claimed by the state to pay for her care.

Your friend would have been better off if her father had left her the money directly instead of leaving it to the mother, and the mother waiting to give it to her.

Your friend should contact an eldercare/estate planning attorney right away so that she understands what the issues are.

Answer 3

Anyone on this thread who is giving you a straight yes or no answer is not doing anything to help you. The nursing home is asking for the mothers money in order to pay the bills and also spend her assets down to try to qualify her for Medicaid. You need to speak to an elder law or Medicaid planning attorney right now. Medicaid can and will look back 5 years to see what assets she had before needing care. You got money from you money about one year ago, right? You need to speak to an attorney as soon as you can. Good luck.

Answer 4

Of course she has the right to keep the money. Who is "they" that are asking for the money back? Your friend's siblings? The mother's doctor?

Your friend (and any siblings) have every right to keep any money they've been given. Legally there's no way to mandate that they give anything back. But your friend (and any siblings) may well have to pay for the cost of her care, if your mother doesn't have any money left. If the nursing homes are too expensive then perhaps the mother can live with one of her children--you can get good tax breaks for housing a parent.

Make sure the solution is equitable between siblings though. If one sibling houses the mom then the others should pay that sibling money each month to help with food and other costs (not to mention time and energy) that sibling is spending on the mom.

Answer 5

No No No.... If your friends mother is ill then its your friends mothers assets that should be taken into consideration and not her sons/daughters. Tell your friend not to worry and if she has received anything from her mother then TO KEEP IT, in my opinion she should not have given any information as to the stocks & shares as those will increase in value with time, I always thought that the elderly had put enough into the system paying tax's etc and therefore the state should look after them !

So I think she should keep quiet about any gifts her mother gave her !

Answer 6

I don't understand why they are asking for all her mother's assets. Is it to pay the nursing home bills? I can't think of any other reason where it might be an issue. If it is for nursing home bills and her mother is unable to sort out her finances due to her mental health then your friend should be granted power of attorney to deal with her mothers financial assets- this may require her to go through a court proceeding to gain this- but it would enable her to see what her mother has, what she needs, and whether she will need to contribute to her mother's care costs. My Nan became ill and this is how my dad gained access to her money- it took a while, during which time he paid cost, but obviously reimbursed himself when he was able.
Good luck to your friend, and please give further details if you are able to.

Answer 7

I am confused, WHO is asking for all of her mother's assets? Do not give anyone anything until I can get clarity on this as I want to make sure you are going in the right directions. You can email me at [e-mail].

Answer 8

i dont know how this stands legally... if she has signed anything over then its rightly hers (your friends) but if your friend is worried about it maybe she should talk to her mum (even if its short term memory loss) but be with someone as a witness could be just a casual friend. If this money was put into her back account its her no probs. her mum would of had to put it in there, therefor signing something. but this seems so sad though. i hope she works it out xx

Answer 9

No, I am assuming the friend put the money in her own account in her name not an account in her mother's name. Once the mother gave it to her and she had it in her posseion it is no longer her mother's assets.

Answer 10

No they can't,and they can't force her to hand over all her mother's assets either...she can be cared for by the NHS...it's what she paid her National Insurance for...she's entitled to free care...and your friend shouldn't be bullied in this way...it's about time people in this country stood up for their rights...either that or refuse to pay their National Insurance!