How do I get over my Social Anxiety?

Question

I can be out and around people but I'm afraid to say hi to strangers, I'm not sure if I should even say hi to complete strangers at all. Ontop of that I'm afraid to speak to people for fear of rejection and being negatively evaluated. I don't want to go the medication route. I don't have panic attacks or something, I just get really nervous.

Answer 1

1. I know how you feel. If you feel you're having panic attacks (racing heart, changes in breathing, etc.), then your social anxiety disorder might be rather serious. See a therapist. But you really should see a therapist anyway, no matter how serious you think the problem is. You need someone with whom to talk over causes and other general problems you're having. A therapist will have you take an anxiety inventory, which measures things like frequency of suicidal thoughts, how well you sleep, whether you overeat, whether you like your occupation, whether it's hard to get out of bed in the morning, etc.
2. Consider group therapy.
3. Try taking some classes in which you can do relaxing, non-threatening things in the vicinity of others of like mind, such as a meditation or yoga/Pilates class. Meditation can be especially helpful for easing anxiety. It was for me.
4. Exercise more. This gets your endorphins going, which generally makes you feel all-around healthier and more confident. Again, consider taking a group class, something that gives you the chance to be around people but that allows you to "blend" into the background of the group, so to speak, when you need to. In other words, make some gradual effort to get out of the house!
5. Pick up some of your favorite hobbies. Set goals to spend more time doing things you like, or join a local club.

Answer 2

Hi Missa,

No one wants to go the medication route, but it may be a necessary starting point.

I had many of the problems you have. I got very nervous when I had to speak even in front of a group of my colleagues at work. The thought of giving a speech, even before a small audience, sent chills down my spine.

I talked to my doctor about this problem and he gave me Zoloft, which he said is the best anti-anxiety drug there is.

It takes a few weeks, say four to six, to get into your system, but it really works. Once my Zoloft kicked in, I was much more comfortable around people. And when my boss asked me, on the spur of the moment, to address a group of people (most of whom I barely knew), I got right up, went right to the podium, and had no problem at all. I even told a couple of short stories that literally brought the house down!

I was very comfortable and took advantage of opportunities to speak in front of people. I really gained a lot of confidence.

Then I weaned myself off of Zoloft, but continued to speak whenever I could.

I haven't taken Zoloft, or anything else, in more than two years, but I am still able to speak in public. I used the drug to convince myself that I could do it, and I can.

Please think about this. A short period of medication can really change your life -- all for the better. And Zoloft had absolutely no side effects for me and probably won't for you.

Missa, I have been in your shoes. Now I am out of them and my life is 1000 times better!

Good luck, and email me to let me know how you are doing.

Answer 3

well i used to be like that, let me tell you, people talk and they say all kinds of things about other people and that's because they have no life of their own so they buzz into others. Now i can give 2 rats as** about what people think, you don't like me i'm sorry get over it, i'm not here in life to make you like me, i'm here to life my life and enjoy it. U only live once. So do this take a deep breath and enjoy, at 1st yeah you'll be nervous, i had never taught english in my life and i took this course on how to teach english, my teachers just gave me papers and said teach, i was like what????? so i stood there took a deep breath, said in the Name OF God and started. Good luck

Answer 4

Go to therapy to learn Cognitive conditioning and go to a psychiatrist to temporarily put you on meds until you are conditioned to get past it.

Good luck!