The blood dript
Down the wall,
A pretty
Sight of gore.
I sat and watched
And that was all
I did.
Some hours
Passed away,
While from the night
Fled the day,
Yet still,
The blood dript
Down the wall,
A pretty
Sight of gore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The blood dript
Down the wall,
A pretty
Sight of gore.
The grey moonlight sneaked in
Through the cracks
And falling down on me
Stopped, horrified, in its tracks.
For, kneeling on the floor,
I had pressed my cheek
Against the tainted wall,
As the blood flowed
Even more
And still dript
Down the wall,
A pretty
Sight of gore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The midnight struck
In haunted tones
Upon the clock
Sent shiver through my bones,
For,
Turning cold,
The blood dript
Down the wall,
A pretty
Sight of gore.
--------------------------------------
2007-06-17 06:36:26 · 11 answers · asked by septembre 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Freeman, I am not vomiting blood on the wall. The blood represents hatred, revenge, and evil while I am the spectator who is in some way connected to the blood dripping, flowing down the wall. I wrote this last night when I was in a bitter, angry mood. Whenever I feel that way I throw it into art. There's always a trigger.
2007-06-17 07:23:30 · update #1
Oh...and I see that a few of you were confused by its being disconnected. The poem takes place in the evening which then advances into the night ("From the night Fled the day"). The night moves on into midnight ("The midnight struck.").
2007-06-17 07:26:49 · update #2
meaning is irrelevant. perhaps the thought of sight of gore invokes the inner darkness. this seems to illicit the better of what i have been seeing in this section
2007-06-17 06:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by tim s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is truely a fantastic poem, a little dark for my taste and usually I hate that type but yours impressed me which is typically very hard to do. the only think i would say is that you broke the rhythm a bit when you said
The grey moonlight sneaked in
Through the cracks
And falling down on me
I dont know but its a little choppy. Great poem though.
2007-06-24 22:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
literally, sounds like bleeding at night! literally, sounds like vengeance, malice, rage, sadism all wrapped together and coated with vitriol!
The imagery of blood, sight of gore fit in well with "night" when the day's gone and the "grey moonlight sneaked in
Through the cracks."
I guess you've decided to deploy "dript" poetically. But I wonder why "For" stands alone in one line in this last stanza!
For,
Turning cold,
yet in the second stanza it does not!!
I like the double meaning of 'pretty' in the repetition of,
A pretty
Sight of gore.
overall, a good poem that ladles out delicious food for thought.
2007-06-21 01:05:27 · answer #3 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love this poem. There is so much to read into it. The writers use of the same visuals makes the reader think (which, by the way is a good thing) about what the writer is trying to get accross. With some minor editing it could be great. 8.5/10
2007-06-17 14:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see it. The overall visual picture. To me, it seems odd others have commented on the literary semantics of your prose. I think you have some inventive and intense pieces. I would work on "in its track./For, kneeling on the floor," an in between bridge visual image. Not because of it being disconnected but because aesthetically I believe you could really add something here.
2007-06-24 18:57:26 · answer #5 · answered by sliverofdignity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U GOT MY TYPE OF POETRY!!!! THE POEM MAY POSE A PROBLEM FOR THE AVERAGE READER BUT U ARE ALREADY A WELL TALENTED POET. (THAT IS IF U WROTE IT URSELF). Bt i wonder y u were vomiting blood on the wall. the poem is splendid with a sense of horror. the imagery nearly put me to.......... you are talented continue u will definitely attain the height u are aiming at........ keep it up
2007-06-17 14:06:36 · answer #6 · answered by Freeman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was kinda confusing, to me that is. I got lost in different places but I do get some of it and like how you wrote it in a different way each time! Nice work for the most part! :D
2007-06-17 13:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by *luna's lover* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good and very real -- I understand it and can relate to it. It has a flow to it that is very unique, and I like it. I also like 'a pretty sight of gore' ...very original and contradictory in a very cool way! Keep it up!
2007-06-23 10:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked the "Moonlight stopped horrified in it's tracks"......an alright poem in my opinion. Got a bit confusing towards the end:-(
2007-06-17 13:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by WHOISTHEPUPPETMASTER? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHA i laugh when people get poetry so wrong- vomiting on the wall ?!! god
I loved it - its dark and meaningful - sentence after sentence has double meaning. loved the repetition of a pretty sight of gore.
Thank u for letting me read this
2007-06-25 07:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋