Dumb Move...How do I get through this?

Question

I was fired from my job and left personal stuff in the office. My manager, who is a big jerk and bully, found it and looked through it, then proceeded to tell people about it. (One embarrassing thing was a receipt for a personals ad)

My manager also went through my email, where he found correspondence with two of my fellow employees, who I had crushes on (and made a fool of myself with by writing my feelings). I know I was wrong to do this on company email.

I got a new job, they found out, and I am working with someone who has contacts with my old job.

I'm really, really embarrassed and upset about this. I can't believe I was so naive and stupid to do this.

I work in a very small industry and feel like my name and reputation has been marred. I look like an utter fool.

How can I get through this? Am I ruined??

Answer 1

I think you will be fine, Do NOT blame yourself for the rude insecurities of your former employer. I believe you are worrying excessively. You do know you can ( if you live in the U.S.) sue that sorry simpleton. Defamation of character, verbal slander, and quite possibly criminal trespass. I would recommend that you address him and his superiors about his inappropriate behavior.

Answer 2

First thing you can do is realize your mistake, and learn from it. And then, forget about it. It is the past and you need to leave it there. Now, if you keep doing the same thing over and over, that's on you. But if you can move on learning from this experience, then use it to grow, not beat yourself up.

As for the other folks that know your business, they need to get a life. The only reason why they are so focused on you is because it's easier than focusing on themselves and there own stupid mistakes. Trust me, they have some, everyone does.

So tomorrow, just be the wonderful person I'm sure you are - being cordial, non-judgmental, etc. so that the new co-workers will see your good qualities and see that the other stuff doesn't really define who you are. But most of all, you need to believe that for yourself. Because at the end of the day, who cares what other people think?

Last thing, it may be easier for someone to get to know you once they realize you're not perfect. They know that you won't be someone that will judge them for their stupid mistakes.

Answer 3

Over time, and it does take time, people will tend to just let it go and forget about it and move on to hurting and embarrassing someone else. Your personal things are just that, personal, a side from the email's at work. Unfortunately, when you email people at work on the computer that belongs to the company, you have no privacy, even though you think you do, it belongs to the company. It was wrong for people to do what they did, especially in a supervisory position, but there is little you can do about it now. Just consider it a lesson well learned and you won't fall into that pitfall again. Move on, grow from the experience, you are not ruined, all right?

Answer 4

Are you ruined? Heck No..If this is the worse thing that happens to you, you are a lucky person. I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill.. People, now days have very short memories, next month they will forget all about it.. Do Not let this incident get you down. There are more important things to worry about. Just go into work, with your head held high, and if anyone mentions it, just say, ohhh yeah, that!! ha ha ha what a great time I had over there!! Good Luck..

Answer 5

No, you're not ruined, you can recover from this. You learned a big lesson from your last job so remember it and don't make those same mistakes again. It is better to keep your personal life separate from your business life. It is more professional and then you never have to worry about the office gossip. If anyone brings up things from your last job, simply & politely tell them that you would prefer to not talk about that, it was a big misunderstanding and change the subject. The fewer coworkers you let into your personal life, the better off you are.

Answer 6

Dude, you are not ruined. It's totally not the end of the world. I guess you can consider this a stupid mistake, but realize it's a *mistake*, not something you wanted to do deliberately. You can live for the past and keep yourself hidden from others so you won't be the laughingstock, or you can sit down, face the facts, and go back to laughing. It's human nature to make mistakes.

Answer 7

You could just ride it out and hope the passing of time will help co-workers forget this embarrassing scenario of yours or you can be up front and talk to your new associates and explain what happened and how foolish you feel for using company email for private correspondence! And remember next time to do what you need to do to keep private information from becoming public information!

Answer 8

Ruined? Gosh, I haven't heard that word in ages. How passionate. You have been foolish, which made you vulnerable. You were violated. But, "ruined"? No. The only aspect of yourself that can truly be "ruined" is your honor and character, not what others think of you, but what you think of yourself. Wisdom and strength of character rise from the ashes of ruin. We do not become strong and wise without making mistakes. Consider this event as the pain of childbirth, and now you have the "baby" of greater wisdom. How do you get through this? With class and dignity. Keep your head up, your mouth shut, do your job, do it well, and remember to exercise greater caution.

Answer 9

just when ppl ask you about it just laugh it oof and say u dont know whatha got over you lol just act like it doesnt bother you then they will back off an evenually forge about it or you can just say it was an inside joke will a buddy and you had everything planed out so the joke is on your boss....lolz

Answer 10

figure out how to laugh this off immediately, all people will remember in the future is your reaction.