Im married to a busy hub for 2 yrs... we dont spend much time together since he's always on biz trips. Now, i met a guy (he's married too) from the chatroom and we started chatting since.. we spent long hours talking about almost anything until finally, both of us felt the same way to each other--we fell in love with each other. But we know we cant do anything about it as we also value our respective vows. We tried to just be friends but its no use, we always end up exchanging i love yous. Its kills us both that we're apart and cant even see each other. Help! what should i do? i dont wanna loose this guy... i do love him.
2007-06-17 05:58:15 · 18 answers · asked by cheeky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should turn off your computer and try to talk to your husband. You don't have anything to lose right now but your marriage. It's very easy to love someone that you don't have to spend time with and deal with the daily life of a relationship's ups and downs. This could end up just like your marriage is right now. If you respect your vows at least try to make your marriage work.
2007-06-17 06:05:14 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, about the guy you chat with... It is very easy to love someone when you only see their good side. You are chatting, and he can keep anything that may hurt you or your friendship from interfering just by not talking about it. So to say you love this guy - that is really taking it a bit far. You only know a part of this guy.
Second, you are chatting with a guy and don't want it to interfere with your marriage. Yet, you don't want to give it up because you feel that you love this other guy. Sounds to me like it already has interfered in your marriage.
Many many many years ago, before the internet was popular and mostly we just had bulletin boards, and I wasn't married yet, I had an online relationship with a guy I met online. Then we went to phone calls. Then it got weird. I am SO glad I never gave him my real name or address. Of course, he could probably get that from my phone number so I wasn't safe either.
If your marriage is important to you, it is time to end the online relationship, seek help from a counselor and develop your relationship with your husband. Most hotels have free internet access these days, so try chatting with your husband in the evenings and times that he is away. Also, get some activities that take you out of the home. You will be happier in the long run if you do.
2007-06-17 06:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't *love* him. Your fantasizing over a guy you've met in a chat room, who has given you answers that meet a need. And consider this: This is a man who is making declarations of love to another woman while he is married, too. Gee, what a prince.
You need to get a grip, and figure out if you want to stay in your marriage or not. The way you're going, it's going to blow up in your face if you aren't careful, and then you'll be divorced with nothing by a cyber-lover on the side, who is unlikely to leave HIS wife for you. Not a good place to be.
Instead of spending all this time chatting to a man you have never met, you need to be investing the time in your marriage. Obviously, you have some emotional needs that aren't being met by your husband -- maybe you weren't prepared to be on your own so much with him traveling. It's time to talk to him and let him know that you need some help. You may both need some counseling, to figure out how to balance your lives.
But stop chatting. It's not fair to you, the other guy, your husband or his wife.
2007-06-17 06:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What? Is this for real? You fell in love with a guy in a chat room? Do you realize how dangerous that can be? He can literally be anyone he wants to be on the computer, but he really may be so different.
Why are you so willing to give up your marriage for a guy on the computer that you have never even met? Can't you see how wrong that is or how dangerous it could be for you?
You need to go see a therapist to figure out what is going on in your head.
I could tell you several disasters from friends I have who have hooked up online and it almost ended in tragedy, one did. He married a girl he met online, they got pregnant, she threw him out and put the kid up for adoption and told him that if he didn't sign the papers she would disappear and he would never see his son anyway, so he may as well do it now and the kid would have a mom and a dad and not live on the lam all the time. It was a no-win situation for him.
The bottom line is that she was someone else on the computer but in reality she was a psychotic witch.
My sister hooked up with a total loser online...he had been convicted of trying to murder a lady he had been raping, and the only reason he didn't succeed was because he was deaf and could not hear her honking the horn (he was raping her in the car) so he almost killed her, but his intention was to kill her. He was also on the sex offenders registry and on parole. She brought him around her kids, my other sisters' kids, my parents, and she knew who he was but never told us. My mom thought he was a little creepy so she called some agencies and found out who he was, and lo and behold we found out all the stuff he had done.
Don't throw your life away for someone you don't know.
2007-06-17 06:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all do what ur heart says, just go for it of u want 2
also, have u met this guy 4rm the chat room face 2 face, it reli helps, he may not b who he says it is
dont cheat on ur husband tho, either break up with him or stop talking 2 the other guy
when and if u do break it 2 him , its best not 2 tell him about this other guy
i know im a bit young 2 be givin advice on this kinda stuff, but i hope this helps
2007-06-17 06:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Chat rooms are not healthy for marriage. Just because you get along with him great in that type of relationship doesn't mean it will ever work in the real world. Trust me on this one. GET OFF THE INTERNET. Go get a hobby like cermaics or something instead, but if you wnt to respect the man that you married you'll stop CHEATING on him with another man.
2007-06-17 06:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by JenasaurusX 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well have you spoken to your spouse about you feeling neglected, if you don't have communication and trust with your hubby then you have failed as a wife, look it is just a fling on-line nothing serious, you have never even met this person
don't do nothing dumb like leave you marriage , and your hubby needs to know how you feel, and you knew about his business trips before you married him , and for some reason
you decided to get married and so you have to deal with that and by using a chat-line a an excuse to meet other men , cause your man doesn't pay attention to you well, that is not cool, be strong and work it out with your hubby , you owe him that ,,,,,,,,, best of luck to you.....
2007-06-17 06:16:35 · answer #7 · answered by E.M. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You actually don't love the guy, you are just lonely and looking for some attention. You might try expressing that need to your husband.
As for the other guy, it's easy to be an online Romeo, but be very careful. There are a lot of whack jobs out there!
2007-06-17 06:04:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your lonely, not in love.
Your husband needs to do more to satisfiy your emotional needs. Stop talking to this guy and sharing intimate conversations with him and start talking to your husband.
You might just find out you have what you need and can discuss why your not happy. Do not open the door online.
This guy is likely talking to others like you trying to get laid.
2007-06-17 07:05:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of that relationship STAT. You are married and so is he. Sadly you have let yorselves becoming emotionally involved and that is not fair to either of your spouses. Get out of this fire that you have started and begin rekindling things with your husband. You can cyber and have phone sex with your husband just as much as you do with this man.
2007-06-17 06:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋