Whenever my husbands exwife wants something she put thier son up to ask my husband(she knows he will not say no to him)Here are some examples 1.she told tom to tell his dad he just wanted 1 b-day party(with her) not 2 like we normally do.the reason so my husband would "pay" for the expensive place she wanted to have tom party at(he all ready pays more than the court ordered)2.She had tom call and ask his dad to buy "sport stuff" for school(the court told her he did not need to pay this as it comes out of the child support) now these are just a few things she has pulled and it happens about 2 or 3 times a month and its not cheap stuff and we are not rich.Please i'm not an evil stepmom and my husband is not a deadbeat dad.I just feel its unfair that she uses thier son to get things the court has told her she can't ask my husband to pay for.
2007-06-17 05:51:19 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She has him do this because saying no at a certain age will start to damage his relationship with his son. However, he might want to nip that in the bud now because you still have prom, graduation stuff and college if he goes and believe me the things you will get hit up for then will make this seem like a charitable donation.
2007-06-17 06:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are better served staying out of this. Consciously and subconsciously, you have turned this into a turf war and you don't want to admit it. YOur husband is trying to keep peace with his son. It is not right to manipulate a child but it is incumbant on your husband to see that and apply tactics to steer him in the direction he wants.
If there is one birthday, each parent should pay 1/2 and has a say on how much and set a budget. It is up to your husband to bring you or not, don't make a fuss. If your husband doesn't care about money spent, you can mention it once but don't nag. If you have children, tell him it does take away from that pool.
The man should have more influence on the sons about sports stuff so the "manipulation" should be the other way round if your husband chooses to.
2007-06-17 06:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is the only one that can make the madness stop. My former husband had the same issue, we were not only paying child support, on time every month, we were spending an additional 200-400 a month for extras that the ex felt we should pay, like cheerleading suits, I don't mind splitting the cost, but we paid for both girls entire outfits at 500 apiece. The things we paid for were ridiculous, and he would never say no to her. It finally came to an end, I confronted him about not being committed to our marriage, he admitted that, and story over.
2007-06-17 06:28:38 · answer #3 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it would bother me. It also depends on if it bothers your husband or not. Does he keep shelling out the money because it's easier than dealing with the hassle of his ex wife? Does your husband know how you feel about the situation and does he agree with you? If that's the case then he needs to stand up to his ex and tell her to stop having their son asking him to pay for certain things. She (the ex) shouldn't put her son in that position to begin with.
2007-06-17 06:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by kbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a step-mother I would feel a little annoyed about the situation. I would have a talk with my husband and tell him that he needs to consult you about these money spending decisions from now on. It would be better for him to have a consensus of what to do instead of just shelling out the money. For instance, in the birthday party issue I would have spoken to the mother and she would have paid half for the birthday and there would be a reasonable price range set.
2007-06-17 05:58:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
1st of all, before I answer the actual question, let me set you straight on 1 concept: STEPMOMS HAVE NO RIGHTS!
Now, I think that if your husband is willing to pay, then who are you to say otherwise? Get out of their relationship and let them be. If this works for them, then good for them. STAY OUT OF IT!!
2007-06-17 06:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats okay coz the kid is his and hers. Let him spend. She will always be another wife to him no matter what you say. She and your husband were one couple once before and they were a family. Accept that you are the second and always will be one. Let him spend for HIS son.
2007-06-17 05:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋