Growing Up?

Question

I'm 13 and people have always treated me like a baby, but now I am moving to the 8th grade and want to be treated as such. My aunt and cousin are the worse. They say things like "Ask your mommy first, pooh bear." And put pillows or papers to their mouths when their talking about "grown-up things." I already know they're either talking about cussin or sex. It isn't a big deal. I just want them to treat me older. What should I do. I'm at wits end. Help me! Please! Oh yeah, and my cousin does stuff like tickle me to make me laugh, like I'm 6 or something. And it just annoys me. What would you do??

Answer 1

If you wish to be treated as an adult, then act like an adult. Eventually they will start to treat as an adult.

As for your cousin, if you truly want it to stop, tell them with a straight face, that you are physically maturing now and it is inappropriate for them to be touching you in that manner. Do not smile at all as that will make them think you are in fact egging them on. If they persist, report it to your parents.

Answer 2

You know, when I was your age there was one thing that really made me seethe all the time. It was those moments when my parents would say to me "you'll understand when you're older". I swore in those days that I'd never say that to someone younger ever.

I've kept that vow actually, I have never said it and I'm not going to start now. But I have also learned that they're right too. I used to be an insufferable kid who knew everything. It was many decades before I realized I had a hell of a lot to learn.

What's that got to do with your question? There are two things that keep you a kid, one is the natural inclination of your parents to always see you as a kid and the other is your behavior and language.

Starting with the former, you will always be a kid to your parents. When I was in my fifties my mother would still scold me once in a while as though I were a five year old for some minor transgression. To a parent we always remain a kid.

But that doesn't mean we have to be treated as one. Generally we earn adulthood. And we earn it by being more responsible, by thinking before responding to issues, by being more caring and helpful, by trying to understand that which we don't understand. Basically we earn adulthood y being more mature.

How do you talk? Is it perhaps ... well, like, you know ... I like got this teacher at school ... and so forth. If you continue to talk like that you'll continue to be seen as a kid. How do you deal with responsiblity? Do you help out around the house, do you volunteer to help with the chores, when you promise to do something, do you deliver as promised? If the answer is yes, then you're earning adulthood. If the answer is no you've got a long way to go.

That's what you need to think about. Whether you're a kid or physically an adult, you'll be treated as a kid until you come across as an adult. So the sooner you start the sooner you win.

I hope that helps a little. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I think I'd wish that my mother cousin and aunt could all do that to me today. I'm pretty old my self now and they are all gone. Just to giggle with my cousin would be a treat. She died in an auto accident. Growing up doesn't happen on one birthday or another and if you want it to be known to your family that you are getting there you have to act like it. You have to do the boring stuff they always have to nag you to do, like cleaning your room, or setting the table, or making dinner for them as a surprise or just because you have to. That goes for schoolwork too.
Adults have this thing about responsibility, theirs is supporting you, and they expect more of you as you age, babies can just sit around a be cute, growing kids get asked to do more and adults don't have to be asked at all.
Enjoy every stage of life that you are in, don't waste them wishing to be something you aren't yet. You are getting there, show them, then wait for them to catch on it may take some time but it takes time for respect to grow.

Answer 4

My nephew is 14 years old and 6' tall. Before I take him somewhere I do tell him to ask his parents first and I call him cutie and squeeze his cheeks. He is soooo cool ...you know why! cause he laughs it off instead of being all mad like a child.

Answer 5

You posted your question in a basically adult section. "Marriage and Divorce". Maybe you made a mistake and need to post your question elsewhere in this network.

Answer 6

Please kindly let them know how you feel. That their actions are beginning to offend you. Perhaps you would have stronger results to you question, if you post it in the family section, rather than marriage & divorce.