I am having a hard time with dealing with a really bad breakup. I love him but he doesn't want to be with me and I think it is because he wants to go out and have fun and hang out with his friends and meet new people and just do whatever he wants without having to be in a relationship. But I am having a hard time with it because he told me that he cares for me. I am really angry with myself and with him because he has changed within the past couple of months because of his friends. I know that I should let him go free and if it's meant to be, he will come back, but I have alot of anger inside. Any advice?
2007-06-17 03:21:13 · 10 answers · asked by Lessons_in_life10 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Okay, let's try to focus on this. You are angry. At yourself and with him. But try to understand that you are angry because this isn't the way you want it to be. And a lot of anger can lead you to do things you'd probably regret. A step further into having peace of mind and heart is having to accept. Acceptance is one way of learning to let go and grow. And you cannot achieve this acceptance as long as that anger resides in your heart. You say you love him, but how sure are you that this is the love that you've been wanting for the rest of your life? Love doesn't just come and go. It stays if it is true, and it stays with you if it is really meant to be. We all have choices. And your bf just had his choice, and that is to free himself of the relationship. It is not just about his friends changing him, because we can't change anybody, and nobody can change us, it's us who decide to change. If he did, then it's still also his choice. If things didn't work out in the relationship like you thought it would, then it probably isn't the relationship for you, and the guy isn't really the guy for you. Learning to let go is a hard process, but it feels good in the end if you have totally accepted it. Again, acceptance. Freeing your thoughts of him might help, because I know deep down you are still thinking of being with him and having these wishful thinkings that he'd still be yours. Free yourself from that, and learn to loosen up a bit. Don't stick yourself in that situation too long. You just had a breakup and I understand that you are hurting, but hurting comes with loving, and loving comes with life. Just keep in mind that this may just teach you another lesson in life. I don't know how old you are, but I believe that there is much more in store for you. As you continue to grow, you'd also continue to mature. And in this maturity, you'd learn that there's more to love and relationships than what you are experiencing now. Closing a chapter in your life with this guy means also forgiving him of whatever awful things happened between you, and as well as forgiving yourself. It is only when you have forgiven yourself and think about this in another point of view that you can release the tension in your heart and the anger you constantly try to bear. Help yourself understand. Don't just see what you want to see and demand what you want to feel, let yourself explore the massive possibilities that life has for you. And I won't miss out on what you said that you know that if it's meant to be then you'd get back together, so it means, you do realize that. So don't fret too much about these things, relax and slowly, you'd find yourself letting this go without cursing yourself and locking your heart inside. It all starts within yourself. And you must also understand that life doesn't require you to be in a relationship always. Enjoy it as you become single again. There's a lot more to life than what you think, and maybe, at your most unexpected moment, life would turn out the way you want it. Just have faith. Be patient. And soon, you'll know what I mean. Hope I've helped you in a way. Good luck!
2007-06-17 03:49:28 · answer #1 · answered by linkin4eternity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is the difference between human being between God and Man. When God give and forgive, man gets, forgets and then regrets. Your partner is also like that only got your love, got everything and forgot that for his own playboy life. Now you expect him to regret and come back. Nice only those who imbibe divine quality can forgive such a person. Since you are ready to forgive him, you are a nice person. But don't become a child always. Sometime you have to become a master also. I mean one time you can forgive him provided he repent on his previous actions. Second time........ kick him from the back and tell him to go to hell
2007-06-17 10:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by Surettan S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know he may have just been kind when he said he cared for you..Like just as a friend..If he had love feelings towards you he would want you by his side all the time..The same way you feel about him when he's not with you...Don't be so desparate...
It's over ..Go on..
You need to be in a relationship with the right one for you..with the same feelings for you..
Good Luck
2007-06-17 10:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by southernpal4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The harder you try, the more he will take advantage of you.
That's not advice, that's just human nature.
By the way, if he did not beat you up or steal from you, it is NOT a "really bad breakup." The fact is that women get treated better when they (I hate to use the word play) hard to get---when they take their time and are just a wee bit choosy.
2007-06-17 10:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart :)
He has already gone..!
All you can do now is to move on with your life, you need to let go .
I'm so sorry for that .
but I'm kinda sure that he is not coming back, becoz if he is coming back, why did he leave in the first place honey ?
try to realize that he is not there.. get connected to your friends for support, and get counseling.
I know it really hurts, but please.. be strong..
good luck sis.
2007-06-17 10:43:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember to just have forgiveness in you first. What hurts so bad is trying to forgive him, when it sounds like he does not want your forgiveness. Once you have the power to heal and love yourself, you'll feel alot better. I hope i helped.
2007-06-17 10:57:39 · answer #6 · answered by Blackjack 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my advice is simple either deal with it or get him back. blokes like to be reminded we are important sometimes y'know and his friends are important to him too so maybe cut him some slack where there concerned for a bit and he will realise what a sound lass you are
2007-06-17 10:26:04 · answer #7 · answered by R.I.P Rob(gone too soon) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over time you will be able to forgive, but that is the easy part.
The hardest thing is to be able to forget.
2007-06-17 10:25:49 · answer #8 · answered by musteatdonut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counseling. It's not for you to let him go, he's already gone. If you can't deal with that, then get professional help.
2007-06-17 10:24:02 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can I help you say good bye it is ok to hurt and it ok to cry.
2007-06-17 10:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by upforitupforitupforitupforitru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋