My husband keeps "chatting" online?

Question

I need some advice, my spouse keeps coming online to chat, I am ok with online chatting in gen. but he will deny he is doing it, even tho I have proof, as I have discovered yet again today, He says it is just friendly -no cyber sex. but why lie about it, It makes me suspicious, in the past he's had a girls numbers in his pocket, and was online checking out the porno. Now, I don't want him to do it b/c it feels like cheating emotionally, this is something I really just don't like now and don't understand how "'chatting about the weather " (supposedly) with a stranger is more important than respecting your wife. He has had many comments on how he can land a chick like me and I can have a wide pick of men if I chose, but I chose him. Regardless of your personal view about online chatting, my question is, if it's something I don't like, have relayed this to the guy, should he not respect me enough not to do so?? If he is going to do it, why lie and not say so, I'd respect him more

Just for the record, I am the adventurous one in the bedroom, if it lasted longer than two effen minutes. It's not a girl being bored problem. He is the geek - am the beauty with adventure, I have been there and done that all. And still would, that is why I wonder why the lying.

Answer 1

I think you should sit with him and find out what all the hype is. Attempt to indulge with him. Find out what's holding his attention. You never know, you could be sitting right next to him chatting as well. But of course all this has to be done with an open mind. I've learned in my own relationship that open minded communication can help alot of problems in relationships. And finally acceptance of your partners personality and way of life does wonders when received in both corners. Give it a try--but know that its not as easy as you think, but the rewards are plenty.

Answer 2

Hi Holly. I really feel for you about this. My live-in partner of 8 months has just done a similar thing to me, except on far more *blatant* sites than Plenty of Fish, so I know exactly how you're feeling right now. It is up to you what you do about this, but you know the excuse that someone put the profile on there for a joke is a complete lie. Also, the fact that he isn't consistent with his facts (2 years, 2 months, 2 weeks) is also a major giveaway that he's lying. If he was telling the truth it would be the same story over and over. What you do next is entirely up to you, but I would start by telling him that you don't believe him and you don't trust him any more. Tell him if he wants the marriage to work that he's going to have to go to some counselling with you (if that's what you want). Tell him that he will have to make the effort to rebuild the trust in your relationship, otherwise your marriage is over (even if that is a bluff, he needs to know that his behaviour is totally unacceptable). If he does decide he wants to stay, I would keep a very watchful eye on him in future. In my experience if they've cheated once (and let's face it, he probably has, or else he was definitely planning to), he'll cheat again. You just need to make sure you're prepared for it next time. You're welcom to pm me if you want to chat further. Good luck.

Answer 3

honey i am sorry about this, he is a jerk!!!!!!!!!!!! he is cheating on you emotionally and that can sometimes be the worst kind of cheating-- you might want to really confront him or check the history on his conputer- if he is gone during the day try to get on and start chatting with one of the names, if it sounds like a woman and stuff then you better sit him down and talk. tell him that if he is cheating he best admit to it right now. if he doesnt, show him your proof, if he does admit to it, explain that he best change his ways or you are walking out that door and never looking back. hope this helps

Answer 4

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Answer 5

He is probably cheating, guys who want to check weather do so on the home page, people who would rather talk with someone else than the people they really have available need to re-think what they have going on.

Answer 6

The hiding is the problem. If nothing is wrong no need to hide. My wife and I know who each other talk to and the person knows that the other knows. If this is not exceptable to both of you then you need to reach some exceptable solution. These are friends and if her messenger is up and she is not here I let them know. We talk in front of each other not hiding.

Answer 7

i think you are boring him , like you bored me i had to read all your girly complane and i am just answering this so other women like you read it and know that men get bored , initially your hasband might have find you interesting cuz you were new and exciting maybe , but now there are other thing to experience. my suggestion is to try doing something together like a sport , or some art activities that get you both involved , and i think you dont respect him enough, he is not your salve , he is a man who loves you and you should be happy but live your own life. he has the right to be a free soul like you wish to be.

Answer 8

when men finde things we like to do women always what to stop it and try to suck the fun out of it. never the less yes he should stop it. just to show u he loves and. respects you as for the porn that is what men do any man who does not well there must be something wrong with him i think women needs to look at porn just to see what we r looking for porn is what men do to fine new things to try in maken love so don't knock porn give it a try. the number thing well we also like to know do we still have it he should of never took it that can lead up to something more ,but talk to him and maybe u can work something out

Answer 9

i think he is wrong for lieing about it and you are for wanting him to---you need to get together on some kind of comprimise---sounds like he is trying to broaden your sexual horizons and have some fun and trying to get you into it--open up and be adventurous ---trade favor for favor---join him in the cyber thing and dont bust his balls about it and he can do something with you that you are wanting but havnt been able to get him to do before??---just an idea

Answer 10

Of course he is being disrespectful of you and your feelings. Any spouse should stop doing whatever it is that bothers the other, just out of courtesy and love.