My partner and i have been together for 5 years and have a two and a half year old daughter. We live seperately but of late he has been wanting me to move in to his house. He comes over to my place every night after work for a couple of hours and goes home again and sleeps over on weekends. I am quite happy living on my own as I am at present financially independant and don't have to ask for anything. The only way I will move in with him is if we got married because to me marriage is more of a committment than defacto but my partner refuses. He said not to take it personally but he would not marry anyone. He has never been married. I feel he wants me to give up my independence for half a committment. Because of his fears i interpret this as in the event that the relationship fails in a defacto relationships I would have no entiltlements to the property and would end up in not a nice situation or even worse - homeless. Would really appreciate some advise..
2007-06-17 01:58:14 · 14 answers · asked by julie j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
some people are really afraid of commitments.. for some reasons. more often it is psychological... did you ever try to ask him why is he afraid or marriage or commitment.. maybe he has reasons. but its up to you if that reason will be acceptable or understandable
but my advice is to do what will make you happy/comfortable....
im sure he will understand if you refuse to move in with him without marriage..
2007-06-17 02:04:32 · answer #1 · answered by joan the great 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make time to talk to him calmly when the children are asleep or away from the house. Do your homework and then Present your case. If after 3 1/2 years, a baby and caring for his children he doesn't want to marry you he either has some real commitment issues, is scared, or just does not want to make it legal. You know it is harder to get our of something if it is in writing and certified by law. YOU might want to take a second look at your relationship before making that plunge because it just might not be the right move for you.
2016-05-17 21:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by estela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your feet are nailed to the floor, RUN! He wants the best of both worlds and you're getting the short end of the deal! You deserve better. Why have you settled for crumbs all these years? Think seriously about finding someone who will love you enough to commit to you or begin enjoying REAL independence...without the fear factor dragging you down.
2007-06-17 02:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do not have to be legally married to be considered married.....hubby and I have been "married" for 5 years and the relationship is great...we have 2 children....with the divorce rate so high these days, we are both happy with the way things are.....seen friends who marry after being together for 5 years plus, and they ended up in divorce within 2 years....so really what is a piece of paper when you are happy...I just tell everyone that I decided to keep my maiden name.....sometimes I even hypenate my name with his....nobody questions us....but what they do say is that they hope that they can be happily married like we are!....something to think about....
2007-06-17 02:03:50 · answer #4 · answered by teddybears 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way and I don't really know why, but, after 14 years and two children I found she was cheating . I think its just a new age relationship thing. Don't take it personally. Some people are just like that. Good luck..
2007-06-17 02:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by carter_kev 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a joke. You are better off single cause you WILL divorce within 10 years. Its just a piece of paper and things only change for the worse!
2007-06-17 02:01:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Once he is forced to pay child support which is 25% of his salary, he will either committ or move on.
2007-06-17 02:01:16 · answer #7 · answered by holeeycow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although it your final decision but I think five years is enough for Any one to take his decision
If the marriage for you is important as you mentioned and he did not consider it
you need to think twice about this relationship future considering all the possible income and outcome humanity wise not financially as you are financially covered and
then
it is your decision
God bless you
2007-06-17 02:08:48 · answer #8 · answered by Mushi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kep living with the arrangemants as they are or you need to move on . if he really wanted to marry you then he would have done it long time ago. Don't do what you do not want to do !
2007-06-17 02:01:32 · answer #9 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After five years and free sex why should he marry you.
Remember: why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free.
2007-06-17 02:05:10 · answer #10 · answered by bloodhound 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋