my husband can not rember my birthday or the day we were marryed?

Question

HE MY HUSBAND CAN NOT REMBER MY BIRTHDAY OR THE DAY WE WERE MARRYED

Answer 1

This is generally an indication of how "romantically" important this is to him (not necessarily of how important you are to him)- although the 2 are strongly connected. The choices are:
*** Accept and learn to live with this
*** Decide that this really isn't an issue after all in the big scheme of things (i.e., for me, my wife's remembering my B-day is immaterial-- for her, irt is much more important, so I make it important for me)
*** Teach him it's importance by putting on a calender, his appointment book or PDA
*** you take him out for your birthday and let him know that if he's not going to celebrate it, you will with him (and say no more)

But the realities are, as Wayne below me states-- "that's bull"!! If he wanted to, he would remember and the fact that he doesn't is an indicator of how little of what counts to you counts to him. We are dense creatures at times, and we often have to be taught things, but this is about romance and caring about your partner. It's amazing how much we remember and are willing to do when chasing you and how little we do once we've caught you... sort of like puppies that chase cars, we stop once the car stops moving!

And it's not normal, as one writer said, it's learned behavior (typically, but not always, these things go out after the romance begins to die) that has been normalized by uncaring creatures and their spouses who have given up to fight more important battles.

Answer 2

Unless your husband is suffering from selective amnesia, he is just not the type to remember the days and events we wives give importance to in our lives. And he is not a rare case you can believe me. Most men do forget specially if we are past the honeymoon stage of our relationship. If you still think that it is worth remembering your wedding anniversary, remind him of the day you walked down the aisle with him and how happy you two had been. It is always good to reminisce together and rekindle the old flames of love. As to your birthday, why not just tell him that it's your birthday and you want to celebrate the day with him? I don't believe in subtle reminders if it's about something I want. If you have been married that long, then there's no need to be coy about getting your wish fulfilled. A prod here and then is sometimes called for for someone as forgetful as your husband.

Answer 3

Been through that mud hole! Next time your birthday comes around, spend the afternoon in a warm bubble bath, dress up, look your best, and smell divine! When he comes home from work and finds no food being prepared, tell him you're going out for the evening to celebrate your birthday. Then give him a smile and a kiss and GO!

Answer 4

He is like every other man out there. Don't be so offended. Men are hard wired different from women.

This is what my wife does...circle the date on the calender and mark what it is ie.loving wife's birthday or anniversary of the best day of our life. She leaves me hints or notes TELLING me exactly what she wants so she will be happy.

Take charge of these dates and do it in a gentle loving way and you get the results you want.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Seem to be an ongoing epidemic. my ex couldn't remember my birthday, our wedding date or my daughter's birthday (which by the way fell one week apart from eachother) but always seemed to remember his own. Guess you either live with it, put reminders all over the place for him or staple a reminder note to his forehead. Really annoying but if his other qualities out do his forgetting b'days forgive him.

Answer 6

Some dudes are just like that, so don't let it get to you. You can always leave reminder notes, make sure the dates are marked on the calendar or in his date book - along with hints. Or, just discuss it with him a week before the event - and plan something WITH him, not to get disappointed that he isn't doing it FOR you. This doesn't mean he loves you less....

Answer 7

Is that really important? my wife never remembers our anniversary date.. and I know there is no one better than her for me.

If those things are really important to you. Have a chat to him. If he loves you he will make an effort. Don't expect him to do things, talk openly and you'll improve your relationship. But above all, don't feel disappointed if he doesn't guess some things that he doesn't know about (such as, those dates being really, really important to you; maybe he does remember the day you first kissed instead). We men tend not to be that good at that.

Answer 8

Whats wrong with saying "what are you getting me for my birthday next week' or "what do you want to do for our anniversary" jees some communication you got going. You don't say a word like you really want him skip over it. Then you are PO'ed that nothing happened. It is not a test it is supposed to be a partnership where you help each other.
You got the date nailed then remind him.

Answer 9

I don't get why people don't work together to solve this. Isn't marriage about helping each other? If you want him to celebrate with you then help him to remember. by blowing up on him you are reenforcing his forgetfullness. who wants to remember a birthday when they get bitched out every year? Tell him a week beforehand and make it positive. stop setting him up for failure, instead set him (and you) up for success.

Answer 10

Men never pay attention to details. On your birthday, go shopping and enjoy your day. On your wedding anniversy refuse to cook and insist he take you out for a nice dinner!