still not gettin over my ex boy friend even after he is married?

Question

He left me a long time back.That was just an abusive and sexual relationship. I have never been into any affair after that. But he recently had a love marriage. I still think abt him. Wat should i do?

Answer 1

Look buddy, I am writing down some very effective steps for you to forget him. I am aware of the fact that forgetting our loved ones is not so easy, but its not impossible either.I am sure if you would follow these, you will overcome this shortcoming.
1. Believe in yourself, nobody in the world is more precious than you for yourself. So why are you wasting such a noble and precious thing.
2. You must remember that if he left you with tears in your eyes, he was not worth this love, and the one who is worth it, will never make you cry.
3. Often in our pursuit of true love, we keep only those in mind whom we like to be our lover/beloved, but ignore those who have dreams about us. So look for someone around you who still admires you.
4. One of the most important thing in such relations is that we should always remember that a true relation should not be "demanding", rather it should be "giving". Try to forget him with the idea that you spared him yourself for his happiness.
5. Most important of all, love is a never-ending process. Try to keep yourself busy in some sort of creative particularly welfare activities, and you will see that within days you will be able to forget him. Moreover, you will also notice that true happiness cannot be found in love, but in acts of human service and welfare only.
Hope these will work out for you and wish you all the best of luck.

Answer 2

I would guess at this being a case of them being friends a long time so maybe hard habits hard to shake. Don't see any harm in this unless their friendship is taking time away from your relationship. Ask your boyfriend if he would mind you seeing an ex too - Doesn't hurt for him to visualise that you may not feel comfortable. I have remained friends with some exes, but distantly (the key) as we have known each other for many years - You have to be considerate towards new partners and some friendships do wane over the years.

Answer 3

There's only one thing TO do... focus on yourself. Improve yourself. Accomplish things. Learn new skills, discover more things you like, and what you don't. I know that may sound pollyann-ish, but it really is the best course. By doing the above (you can take classes, work out more, etc etc), you'll distract yourself from disturbing thoughts, gain valuable skills and knowledge, and perhaps even meet someone you may really like.

But the biggest reason to focus on improving yourself is that doing so will boost your confidence and sense of worth, which will lessen the likelyhood that you'll end up w/ another abusive ******, and INCREASE the likelyhood that you'll not only meet, but ATTRACT the kinda ppl that'll value you. But that won't happen 'til you value yourself, and the best way to get THERE is through achievement and self-improvement.

Now get off ur duff and start improving!

Answer 4

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company isn't security.
(Kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.)

After awhile you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain
and the inevitable has a way of crumbling in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you stand too long in one place.

So, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
And you learn you really can endure,
that you really do have worth.
You learn that with every good-bye comes the dawn.

Answer 5

Seek therapy. Any activities that we recommend here will only offer you temporary relief. The fact that you have persistent feelings for this person who abused you in the past and is now married to someone else are symptoms of a deeper problem.

Answer 6

I am sorry you are still feeling this way. I would like you to think of something. You know it wasn't a good relationship...so are you thinking of "how you wished he was?". Meaning, in your mind you have thoughts of how he could have been, but never was. Be real....remember that it wasn't good...that he hurt you. keep that thought fresh in your mind.
Go get a haircut, buy a new outfit, hold your head high and get dating! There are a lot of very nice men out there!! Have fun with your freedom!

Answer 7

Gather everything you have that reminds you of him. Find a small tin can or bucket. Place the items in the the bucket and set it to fire and burn it. Have this to be a final closure to this relationship. It will help you to move on. It is tough to forget, but you must move on for your own health.

Answer 8

just get over him or your life will be ruined by being stuck in the memory of this long-gone relationship. and he doesn't deserve you thinking him so much anyway (you said it was just an abusive and sexual relationship. right?).
just look around. there're many good guys out there.

Answer 9

How long did you two break it off. If it's been more then a year and you're still not over him...

there's a problem - It's okay to think about him but he shouldn't consume your life. He moved on, you need to move on a find a good guy.

I think you miss the sex more then him. You need to get out there and find another guy.

Answer 10

Move on. If the relationship was abusive and sexual, then he's not worth it.