Im 30 My husband 40. We've been together 7yrs with two children 2yrs-3yrs old. Our relationship has always been based on complete trust. We absoultly love each other and have a strong commitment to our marriage and children.
Are we doing anything wrong by occasionally sleeping with other people?? We don't sleep together with another, its as if I like someone and the feeling's mutual we may sleep together same goes for my husband. Don't get me wrong we don't go looking for it. And have been there less than a handful of times. I was just wondering if any other people out there have the same sort of arrangement and if its common. My friends who do know about our marriage thinks its awesome and that it would be a rarity to be stable in that enviroment.
2007-06-16 21:56:19 · 14 answers · asked by mcbjhj 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's definitely not something I would want in my marriage, but I admire the fact that you two are equally comfortable with this arrangement and still going strong. As long as it is MUTUAL and not one feeling cheated than I guess it's fine, you are lucky you found someone that is on your same level. Be happy! Who cares what other people think, at the end of the day, it's YOU guys who are in the marriage not anyone else.
2007-06-16 22:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Weird in not the word, I don't even think there is a word in the dictionary for your situation. Stupid would be the closest I could come to if I would choose one.
Trust = Fidelity. So I don't understand how you can say you have trust in your marriage. I don't call this trust I call it, having your cake and eating it to.
If you trust enough so much why did you get married? Obviously your trust is limited to a degree otherwise you would have just have lived with each other, somewhere in the back of your mind you wanted to make sure that if it does not last forever you will have the Legal right of property sharing, alimony, child support etc.
Dearie, you are are 30, wait another couple of years, and your husband will want to trade you in for 2- 18 yr. olds, or 2- 20 yr. olds. What the hell (excuse my language) are you doing.
It might be stable now, but your on the road to disaster. Obviously you guys are not realistic. Who's idea was it to begin with? I would bet my bottom dollar it was your husbands. So just ponder that thought. Boy does your husband have you brainwashed.
Again, fidelity = trust and visa verse
Truth to tell, your kids are the ones that will eventually be the sacrificial lambs, from your stable(?) environment. You can only play with fire for so long, eventually the house burns down.
2007-06-16 22:46:46 · answer #2 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um well that was all a little confusing but i think i got the story. Well my opinion is that, it was really weird of your uncle to do that. That is definitely not normal behavior. And if it is still bothering you after this long you should definitely tell someone about it. I'm not really sure if there is anything the cops would be able to do unless you want to file some kind of sexual misconduct or harassment lawsuit. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hope the advice helps.
2016-05-17 21:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by dale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no commitment in your marriage. You have been committing adultery. When you got married you became one before God. The marriage bed shall not be defiled. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Read it for yourself in the Holy Bible, get a New Living translation it is written in plain modern English. Read about marriage yourself. You are walking on dangerous ground. Your very soul is at stake. Hurry! Time is short, you are not promised another moment.
2007-06-17 09:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to know? I reckon it's disgusting. It's people like you who are bringing moral standards to stop in this world. Why can't we keep it clean for a change, there would be less broken marriages and unhappiness on earth without people fooling around with sex.
2007-06-16 23:31:10 · answer #5 · answered by BFCP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first paragraph sounds wonderful. The second paragraph is confusing to me. It's confusing because it is out of the norm in my arena. But I feel if you have to ask, then you have doubts yourself. Be prepared that nothing stays the same either. Do not forget about STD's and aging. Also, what you are teaching your children. I just do not think that there is any room in a marriage for playing the field.
2007-06-16 22:20:30 · answer #6 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not something i've ever done or want to but if it works for the 2 of you i can't see a problem with it. The only thing i'd be worried about is if oneday one of you might "fall" for the person your're sleeping with and want more! It could happen when you least expect it and if that happens you are in for all sorts of problems. Is it really worth your marriage and family? Think about it!
2007-06-16 22:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by Mez 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you are asking if you are doing something wrong, then you probably think you are
Its more common just for married couples to cheat and lie about it. At least you guys are open about it
But to be honest, I dont get why you would want to sleep with other people - other than to reassure yourselves that you still "have it" Its not wrong but it is a bit strange - what are the other people you sleep with giving you that your husband doesnt?
2007-06-16 22:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi congrats on being able to make that arrangement work..You must of had it like that from the beginning I guess in order for it to work. I have a good marriage and good sex life with my partner and on the occasions we have talked about such things we both thought we'd be to jealous to deal with it after the fact, or we are afraid to risk what we have in case our jealousy wrecks our relationship down the track. We got together at 21 and we are 28 now.What happens in your circumstance if one of you are attracted to a mutual friend or are they off bounds?! Its working for you guys so all the best!
2007-06-16 22:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by misstth 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
what seems great today could turn really sour tomorrow.
Adultery in some states is illegal. I would watch your back....it takes once to find someone else,
to whom you might think your heart belongs to.(goes both ways)
Complete trust...how?
When your not really one, however with more than one. Is your heart involved with your husband? If so how could you give it willingly to another and if your heart is not involved when you choose to sleep with another wouldn't that make you loose? (better name then what I was thinking)
What would your children think and if they were married and you found out their spouse was cheating, how would you feel.
What are you teaching them?
Yes, I think its weird.
2007-06-16 22:10:03 · answer #10 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋