Can a man who hits a women ever stop?

Question

I have a friend that is getting abused physically by her boyfriend. They get in a argument, then he hits her, and then he makes up for it by saying he loves her and by buying her things. The 3 cycles of abuse.
He's now saying he wants to marry her and have kids with her. I know the abuse is likely to get worse then better.
So my question is can a man who hits a woman ever change.

Answer 1

i would have to say yes its possible, but its so rare,. they usually dont change even though they say "I will change, dont leave me" repeatedly to the woman they are trying to control. He wont just change by wanting to change, an abusive person t needs intensive therapy and still may be abusive, so dont expect him to change, tell your friend to get out of this relationship beofre its too late

Answer 2

My sister was in a very similar situation, so I can sympathize. I'm sorry you have to feel so helpless and angry and worried about your friend. That said.... The best thing for her to do is leave him---problem is, no one can make her, or convince her. You ever hear "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink"? It's true. It's so frustrating. Anyway--- Can a man stop hitting a woman? Sure they can. But it takes INTENSIVE therapy, counseling, and a strong desire to change, and turn one's life around. In other words, rarely. It IS possible, but unlikely. Does your friend's boyfriend want to change so much that he has sought help psychologically, spiritually? Does he see a therapist or pyschiatrist (or even a priest/pastor)? Has he expressed a sincere and enthusiastic desire to change? If the answer is no, then he is unlikely to change any time soon, if ever. If you want more information than I can give you, do what I did: call a domestic abuse hotline, or go to the many sites online dedicated to domestic abuse. They can give you some really good tips on how to deal...with your own feelings, with your friends' tolerance of his awful behavior, and more. Good Luck :)

Answer 3

There are only three things now in my 42-years of life that enrage me. Abuse of animals, abuse of children, and abuse of women. There is no excuse - I'll say it again - there is NO EXCUSE for a man to ever hit a woman. Unfortunately, I have seen very few examples where a man will change abusive patterns. It usually takes a life altering and a life changing experience to change abusive patterns. You are in a really difficult situation right now as you are on the outside looking in. You see the situation for what it is, but your friend sees the situation for what she wants it to be. Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do as a friend except be there for her and hope she doesn't get killed in the process. Both of you will be in my thoughts...

Answer 4

im sorry to say but probably not, its just going to keep happening with those cycles, hit-make up-buy.
what is most likely going to happen by the sounds of that is the guy will most likely split from the wife, effecting the kids, which the kids will grow up, have a hard time dealing with the fact that their mom and dad split, than it will repeat itself going with the kids, because usually the genes run threw the family and if the kids are around it too much they will be just like the father when they get older.

Answer 5

as the rule of thumb he will stop as soon as he kills her, what ever it takes get her some help, if he would commit to anger management classes and attend for several months then and only then he will have proven his true desire to change but that's not a guarantee your friend should end the relationship and find a man who knows how to treat a woman, physical abuse is not one of the traits I'd look for in a person I intended to spend my life with!

Answer 6

There's a line in the book, "The Gift of Fear" where he says, "The first time, she's a victim. After that, she's a volunteer." Harsh but true. I recommend that book, it will give you a lot of insight. The abuse will get worse. She's a fool if she marries him. Help build her self-esteem, and talk to a shelter to see what you can do. Try enlisting other friends she trusts, too. No, he won't stop and he won't get help. She needs to get herself out, but you can try to help.

Answer 7

No, no, no and no.

And yes, the abuse will only get worse.

Talk to a womens shelter and see what they can recommend for you in the way of support and educating you on abuse. Maybe while her boyfriend is not around, you could talk her into calling one herself, or even take her to one for counselling.

Answer 8

Not without something huge happening to him. What will more likely happen is that he will not only beat her more severely over time, he will abuse their children. My father was severely abusive to my mother and all of his children. Changing takes a major personality change, which control freaks don't usually welcome. Your friend needs to get out before she has kids that have to deal with the repercussions of her choices.

Answer 9

hello there.first I wanted to say you are a great friend to be worried about her.ok I myself have two examples for you my husband hit on me off and on for 7 years the off part was because I would leave and stay somewhere else.he did not ever change finally I left him.I even had him locked up.
yet my son whom I am so very proud of now he too was hitting on his girlfriend there for awhile it was everyday them two would get into fist fights yet that was last year now as of 7 months ago after he got out he and her have not they get along better then ever and in January made me a grandmother.I yes I know that it doesn't sound like alot of time but for someone to change honestly they themselves have to want to and as long as she does nothing about it sorry to say neither will he.......

Answer 10

hello Trav W,
i would tell your "friend" that the longer she puts up with it, the longer it will go on and the longer it goes on the worse it will get......tell her to get out now!!!!!! while the getting out may be an emotional experience, it will be for the best in the long run.....you i mean she will thank yahoo answers somewhere down the line.........and all of us would like to wish her the best of luck.