I had to go out of town for work and my wife had an "emotional"affair. I found out about it. We started to work things out and I had to go back out of town for work.
When I get back home she is cold, unaffectionate, and doesn't want anything to do with me. She says her "fling" is over, but I have my doubts.
Now she wants a divorce and to take our three children (ages 8, 6, & 2) away from me. I have never been abusive or would never think to strike my wife or kids. If she leaves and takes the kids, I will be devastated. I really love my wife and our children. She says she loves me but is not in love with me. what does that mean? What do I do next?
2007-06-16 18:53:53 · 9 answers · asked by harticat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think reality set in. Women are programmed to think marriage is romance and happily ever after, that we should always be happy and that when the passion fades, we must not be in love anymore.
The truth is that marriage is hard work, NO ONE is ever happy all of the time and that passionate, romantic, love fades in and out in any long term relationship.
You could save the marriage if you are both willing to be realistic and work on it. She will just have to understand that you cannot always feel that first flush of love and that having an affair or a new relationship will not cure the problem. Eventually, every new relationship turns into an old relationship and she will be right back where she is now, if not worse off.
If she does decide she wants a divorce, you will not lose your kids. You have legal rights and you can see that those rights are enforced. Good luck,hon.
2007-06-16 19:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For her to just end the whole marriage without trying to salvage it would be a tremendous injustice to the children and you. If she is at all reasonable, the two of you need to seek marriage counseling. A marriage counselor may be able to shed some light on the situation and get your wife to open up to you as to what is bothering her. Even if she does not agree to the counseling, go seek professional counseling yourself, it well help you to deal with this situation better, no matter what happens. I truly wish that everything will work out for you. I would interpret "I love you but I'm not in love with you," as "I love you but it's not the kind of love anymore that ignites passion and desire."
2007-06-17 02:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by microwaved-brain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry pal...she's having an affair...and by the way...what is an emotional affair? Is that what she told you?...My wife acted the same way and I found out she was screwing some guy. Listen, don't let her take the kids...GET A LAWYER ASAP !!
Try and get proof she is commiting adultry. (Private investigator). Don't sit back and take this. I know it sucks and it's devastating. It was for me. But I'm much happier now without her. Be strong and FIGHT!!!
2007-06-17 02:28:15 · answer #3 · answered by Ronin 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, all the things you fail to mention in this question...
Yes, I had a friendship that I should not of had, and yes it's over.
Yes, you did cheat on me during our marriage with women you met online. (careful ladies)
No, I never said that I was taking the kids from you. I said that you can see them whenever you want.
Yes, I wanted to be friends throughout this ordeal.
No, maybe not physically abusive...
I said that I will always have a love for you as the father of my children, but I am not in love with you anymore as a wife should be.
I want to be friends, that's the relationship I want with you.
This divorce will be as difficult as you make it.
Guess it just goes to show ya that there's 2 sides to every story...this is part of mine.
2007-06-17 07:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by broken 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God designed marriage, and His instructions (via the Bible) will direct you. Start by praying... talk to the Lord just like you would another person. Open your heart to Him and to your wife. Take her hand and bow together in prayer. Trust God... He may have allowed these circumstance to bring you and your family to Him. Likewise, I will pray for your marriage, but do not solely depend on my prayers. You must go to the Lord as well. Seek Him with all of your heart... you will find Him!
// John 3:16-17 //
2007-06-17 02:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when some one says things like "i will always love you, your the mother/father of my kids" "but I'm not IN love with you anymore" almost always means they are in another relationship that you don't know about. trust me i know, so what to do next is up to you, either move on or be her friend and stick it out till she has no one to fall on but you. and do not beg her to come back that just lets her know she has you where she wants you (on a back burner)moving on will also be difficult but it get better i promise
2007-06-17 02:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by aeytei 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Been there,done that. Get the divorce. You will be happier in the long run. Trust me.
2007-06-17 02:01:20 · answer #7 · answered by momblueeyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling and see a lawyer.
2007-06-17 02:00:43 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is a jerk. she will figure out what she is distroying when she has already done the damage. thats too bad. stay strong.
2007-06-17 02:14:19 · answer #9 · answered by its me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋