an alleged father?

Question

ok, here goes we are fostering a three month old, mother does not want her, now there is an alleged father trying to be involved, he is a 50+ year old alcoholic, works 12 hour days, doesn't drive, has no criminal history however....what kind of stuff will he have to go thru in order to get the baby if the paternity test comes back as positive? no one knows if he is actually the father as the mother is a prostitute......he continually calls the social worker, sometimes intoxicated, however he has not done any of the paper work she has sent him and has not gone to get a paternity test....the county is unwilling to pay for one at this oint, they feel if he truly believes he is the dad he should pay for it....he has never seen the baby or sent her anything....so what are things he will have to go thru what is the likely hood that he will get her? Also she is our niece and we very much want to adopt her....what kind of a future are we looking at her?

is it illegal or wrong for us to offer an open adoption and encourage him to relinquish his rights?

I don't mean to sound discriminating against the father due to age etc....however he has bever done anything for the baby, has never seen her and I think he only wangts her in order to keep a hold of the mother!! the baby was put in protective services after being born addiceted to cocaine to a mother who conitnues to prostitute and use drugs....the mother willing let her go to foster care temporarily while she served some time and went to treatment, she has been out of jail for about 7 weeks now, went into jail when the baby was 3 days old and has not been in contact since April 26th......she has not gone to treatment and now has another warrant for her arrest!! do I think he should have the right to the baby, YES but not solely.....he hasn't done anything for her.....the baby also has special needs and requires ALOT of appointments and PT, that is why I think he would need to drive, sorry rambling here I guess!!

also to anyone who is wondering I know he is an alcoholic, as he has been at family functions in the past with the babies mother.....christmas, thanksgiving etc....

also to anyone who is wondering I know he is an alcoholic, as he has been at family functions in the past with the babies mother.....christmas, thanksgiving etc....

Answer 1

As long as this man does not jump through hoops, he has little chance of gaining custody. He isn't even legally established as father.

If he did want to try to be a father he would have to prove paternity, he would likely have to attend AA, submit to random alcohol screenings, attend and complete parenting classes, prove to the state that he had adequate childcare, housing and would be a fit parent.

If this man is as you describe, I doubt he will successfully do any of that.

Once the legal parent(s) have relinquished their parental rights or had them terminated, you can adopt. Once the adoption is finalized, you are the legal parents of this child and have full say in who can and cannot be in her life.

I just read your additional details...

Very few states allow for open adoption. I think open adoption is a beautiful thing, but I am not sure it would be good for your girl to have her drunken father pop in and out of her life.

It might be considered unethical to encourage he sign away rights, but I wouldn't say not to ask. Heck, I would explain to him that if he is the father, he will have to pay support from the moment of her birth until present and that the money will be owed to the state since she is in state care. That might make him a bit less inclined to prove paternity.

Besides, he hasn't proven he is the father and he very well might not be the father if the mother was a prostitute when she got pregnant. Realistically, you are much better off if no one is named father. That way, you do not have to worry about having a father sign away parental rights.

Answer 2

If this was a female trying to reclaim the baby you'ld be all for it. We need equal rights for ALL parents not just mothers. Many fathers do indeed make great parents and many times the father makes a better "mother" than the bio-mother. I assume you meant the age 50+ as a negative. So from what I gather here, we should take his child away because we discriminate against parenting over 50, being a male, being low income and a hard worker (12 hrs a day), and if one doesn't drive they should be stripped of their parental rights. The only thing you got going is a prejudice social worker and alcoholism, unless you made it up. If this was me who was the father, you'ld be looking at a very lengthy, very expensive court battle, complete with discrimination charges because this child should automatically go to the father.

Answer 3

being as she is family i think that you can offer anything. you are not a foster family that is getting to involved you are family that is fostering the child. even if he is the father I'm sure he would be found unfit. he would have to get the test done then file for custody then try to will a case which will be totally impossible if what you say is true the social worker will see to that. was the child taken from the mother and placed with you or did she tell you here take the baby? it might make a difference. good luck

Answer 4

Wow...

I suggest the Mom go to court and file a paternity suit with the alleged father. They will court order him to come in for a DNA test. That will solve that situation. If he isnt the father, it will be easier for you to adopt or have the Mom sign her rights over to you.

If it is his baby, i suggest you invest in a lawyer who has experience with child custody issues because you have to prove to the court that the father is unfit to care for the baby.
I also suggest you document the things he does that deem him unfit as a parent to further prove your case.

Ask the socialworker to document that she has sent paperwork to this man and steadily gets no response as well as callin intoxicated.

You also need to express why it is in the best interest of the child that she remain in your household.

Every state is different so I suggest you do some research and find the right people to talk to..

Answer 5

I propose your niece inform the alleged father that both he enable the baby to be followed or he need to have a few magical method to maintain the youngster,due to the fact that she does not see how it's viable and isn't in a position to be completely in charge.Also,Your niece must dossier baby aid at the deadbeat for his or her older baby!

Answer 6

He obviously doesnt want the kid that bad enough so you have nothing to worry about there. And if it turns out he is the father I highly doubt that the courts are going to give him the baby considering he is a drunk and rarely ever home since he works to much.

Answer 7

Regardless what you want, if he is her father and the courts decide he can have custody, she belongs to him. Get a lawyer.