Will my wife come back or should i move on?

Question

my wife of almost 10 years left me,its been almost a month now, Ive begged ive pleeded ive told her how much i love her and still nothing.she says maybe and then she says noway,Weve had our ups and downs and arguments and name calling(both of us) but all of this I felt could be fixed, but she said she doesnt love me anymore how can this be, ive romanced her wrote her poems massage her whole body and give her baths tell her how much i love her and how beautiful she is all the time.we have 4 children together and I want whats best for them(i really do)!!!Anyway I got fed up with begging and pursing to be turned away every time so I stopped all together,and this really pissed her off WHY?If she didnt want to be with me why is was she so upset ?I love her and always put her before myself so after she broke my heart why is she still being mean to me?

No leaving out no details !!!!!!!!!!!!

i am not looking for sympathy i am looking for honest answers ILOVE MY WIFE

Answer 1

your wife is a very confused woman. regardless of anything else, please dont beg anymore. you were good to her and readily showed love and affection. she took it for granted. stop being her punching bag. you should move on and if she grows up and realizes what she had, and you still want her, maybe you can work things out. but- as long as she has you on a string, she will never learn her true feelings for you. and- dont let anyone make you feel like you must have been at fault. sometimes people fall in love with cruel, abusive people. best wishes

Answer 2

It sounds to me like she doesn't know for sure what she wants. You have told her how you feel, now you probably need to give her space and let her decide how she feels.

You could make one final gesture on your end, and write her a letter telling her what is on your heart. That way you can be sure that you have said everything you need her to hear. Also, in emotional conversation it can be hard to concentrate on what the other person is saying. With a letter, she can read it as many times as she wants, and you will likely feel better after getting it all out free of interuption.

I can't say whether or not your wife will come back to you. But if she does, you want it to be for the right reasons, not pressure to do so. The best advice I could give is to take her at her word and try to move on. If she changes her mind, then she should be the one to make an effort to reopen the door. Good luck to you. Heartbreak sucks!

Answer 3

I had to go through a situation like this and I begged and begged and that did nothing more than to frustrate her. What you need to do is give her time and try to understand her. You need to talk to her like a friend and help her make a decision whether it'd be in your favor or not but a true friend does not look what benefits him but what benefits the other person. I know this is extremely hard and I had to go through it, but this shows that you're mature and your just not saying stuff to get her back but you actually MEAN it. This may take days to weeks but whatever happens just be by her side and if she finds someone to date then let her and she will find how wrong she was and one day you do the same and she will be jealous and realize that she can loose you too. This way she will realize how important you are to her. All this doing is extremely hard but you have to realize that a lot of it is YOUR fault and you have to FIX it, just not by begging that won't do anything but by WORKING on it to fix it.

Answer 4

Inconsistency will kill you.

You begged, pleaded.... said you'd do whatever needed to be done to get back together.

And then got frustrated that she didn't react quickly enough, stopped altogether and ...

And you're wondering why she's all pissed off.

It's because you didn't mean it. If you meant it, you would have followed through. But then you grew tired of being rejected (or not being accepted) and effectively negated all the pleading.

You didn't mean it. You really only meant, "as long as you'll meet me at least x part of the way." You put your own hurt feelings and concerns about potential rejection for yourself first and then it was her turn.

You probably won't connect the dots, so I'll connect them for you. Your hurt and "feelings of potential rejection" ... those are pride, mate. You only put it down for a little while, then picked it right back up again.

And when you picked it up? It was ahead of her place in line. So she's pissed. Your pride, afterall, is more important than she is. She's pissed because she let herself expect more for a little while. She's pissed because she allowed herself to hope.

She's pissed because she got hurt. Again.

Answer 5

I think you should try to move on and give her sometime alone to think things out. I know how hard it can be though. Once, I had an ex-girlfriend who could not make up her mind about getting back with me or not. Lots of problems caused our break up, then I got married and separated from another woman, so she was really unsure. I was constantly bringing it up because I loved her so much, I felt like I NEEDED an answer. Then one day, I finally let it go and agreed to leave her alone to figure it out. What I thought might take her months, only took her 2 weeks. She came back and we slowly figured it out. Now we plan on getting married. Point is........you gotta give her the space to be on her own and make her own mind up. You can't force her to take you back. And begging sure doesn't help make you look good. Plus, it leaves you feeling like crap.

Answer 6

If a woman leaves a relationship especially a long one, she's prepared herself emotionally to leave long before shes actually left. I think shes out there testing the waters, her strength. Its always nice to know that your ex absolutely adores you and now that you've backed off I think shes just being spiteful & nasty.

I don't believe she'll come back.... Sorry.

Answer 7

my husband did the same to me and the truth is he was with another woman,i also begged and pleaded and he didnt want anything to do with me ,he seemed happy and satified with the other girl,and wanted absolutly nothing to do with me,that is while he was with her, so after about three months of pouring my heart out for him,i gave up and avoided him as much as possible(we do have a two year old)and tried to move on and except the fact that he was happy and satisfied with the other girl. and all was going good untill one day after him and his newly found girlfriend break up and he decides to start calling me and wanting to see his daughter,so me still being very much in love with him, starts leting him come around and talk to me(now keep in mind that i did begg him to see our little girl and he blew us off and stood us up while he was with the other)any ways you can guess what happened...after he didnt have the other girl around he wanted me back,now we are together and i have a hard time forgiving him and i cant stop wandering why he left me for her and why i wasnt good enough and why this and why that well i guess what im geting at is this if she has been gone and dosnt want you but gets mad to know your tring to move on is probley because she still need you to fall back on if what ever she is doing now dosnt work out. and you have to ask your self if you will be able to accept what she has done to you and forgive her and are you going to be happy with her if she dose come back to you?my advice is to move on because i can honestly say sticking around is very difficult and heart breaking, it is going to be hard to get over the love of your life but with time your heart will heal. good luck

Answer 8

Get into counseling to get some tools to help you cope with the loss of your marriage. Invite your wife to come, but if she won't, then go it alone and move on.

Answer 9

if you are ready to move on so quickly maybe you love her but are not wanting to love her enough to wait to heal all wounds of a long time relationship. maybe you dont love her like to stay with her. maybe you love yourself alot more. that is why you feel the need to move on so quick. maybe if you are this way then you were this way with her while you were together and that is emotionally disconnected and women hurt by this behaviior.

Answer 10

Let her go, When she realizes what shes missing, she will either come back to you or move on, under no circumstance should you beg her to come back because then she knows your miserable and she loves that. Just let her go.