Advice for overcoming my shyness?

Question

I've been pretty shy all my life. But its been getting better over the years. I'm going to be a senior in high school and i hang out with this huge group of friends. The girls are all my age and the boys are all going to be freshmen in college, so we wanna make the most of this summer. The whole time ive been in this group of friends (im really close with the girls), I have been really shy. When the girls are alone, since i know them well, i get along really easily. but when its the whole group, i suddenly get really shy and dont talk very much. its not very fun. theyre all pretty hyper, hilarious, crazy kids and i love them, but i just feel like i could be alot happier and have more fun if i wasnt shy. this isnt like "oh be yourself". its so so hard to get past my shyness. i guess i just get really self conscious or something. please give me good advice cuz this summers really important

Answer 1

well i've felt exaclty how you've felt.


a few tips to get over shyness are:

-find someone you can trust enough to look up to, and treat them as a leader. its hard to be a follower, but leaders always start out as followers.

-dont follow the crowd though. different people in a crowd turn into a kind of mob.

-dont feel like you're a celebrity. hardly anyone is watching your every move. if they are, they probably allready like you completely for who you are.

-more on the above.. don't be afraid of being self-conscious. i don't really like being around people who aren't aware of how they are affecting other people. just try to affect other people with a PURPOSE.

-everyone has stress. dont hide under stress.

-if you've been shy in the past, people WILL give you grief about not being a wallflower any more. but it's ok to not always have attention.

-dont look for attention. if you get a lot of attention, you might get smothered. try to just look at your life as if what would you do in a similar situation if it weren't in school...

-ignore "rules" about how you should appear. don't be stupid, but don't be in bondage to another person's opinion.

-remember that life is too short to watch it go by. find your drives and your passions, and don't care too much about people that you won't see much after graduation. do you want to be "popular" or do you want to be "outgoing"?

-don't worry about mean people. you don't want them as friends anyway, right? just be friendly, if you want to, to anyone you want to. it might just make their day 100% better:)

Answer 2

You probably are just shy when you're out of your comfort zone. Let the people you don't know get to know you better. Just pretend like your with your close friends, sometimes when you overthink things, it just gets you more nervous. I would take little steps. Just take it slow, sooner or later I'm sure you will be able to overcome your shyness. This summer just try meeting new people and set goals for yourself. Like for instance: for 1 week tell at least 5 people you don't know "hi". Set challenges for yourself! That way when you get back to school you'll be used to getting out of your comfort zone and will be less shy. Just don't be afraid to challenge yourself! Good luck!

Answer 3

Its real easy to say 'be yourself', but, obviously its not so simple. Your not going to be upbeat and bubbly all of a sudden just cuz you wish yourself that way. You just need to learn to relax and stop being so hard on yourself. Nobody is looking for you to make a mistake, or say the wrong thing. So, learn to laugh at yourself. And open your mouth and talk when you want to . Not just to answer questions. Promise yourself to try and ask or say atleast 5 things one after the other. And go from there.
Good luck sweetie and have a great summer!

Answer 4

I would approach some of the people that you're not that comfortable around and one by one ask if they want to hang out. As you get more comfortable with them on a one-to-one basis, then maybe in the crowd it will be easier too. You hang out with the girls just fine, right? Even when there are a group of girls? I think it's just going to take a bit of time. Now that Summer is here (woohoo!) it'll be easier to devote time to these people, and before you know it, you'll have increased the circle of people you're comfortable with. Just be honest about who you are and sincere in dealing with everyone, and I think you'll do just fine!

Answer 5

I am the same way,its so awful.And i feel your pain but i am getting much better now too!I just try not to be so self conscious and talk ,just ask people questions and smile and laugh all the time.Just try and relax and dont be worried what other people might think of what you have said.And its always so much easier just to talk one on one with people so just go around a mingle with everyone.Its all in your head,shy people are always worried about what others think but i really dont think people are that judge mental.so just try to have fun and i am going to come back and see what others write,cuz i need advice too!hope i helped a bit!and have a great summer!

Answer 6

Your problem is called self centered fear. You care too much what you think other people are thinking of you. It is none of your business what they think of you, what is important is what you know is true about you. Treat others as you would have them treat you. Do things for others with out expecting anything in return. Be kind, caring, giving, tolerant, patient, slow to anger and quick to forgive. If you do all these things you will like yourself and other people will naturally like you too. If they don't like you then leave them behind you don't need them anyway.

Something that helps me in the kind of situation you are asking about, is instead of worrying about what they may be thinking of me, I concentrate on what I am thinking of them. Takes your mind off of being insecure and makes it much easier to be yourself.

Self acceptance is the key, I am okay today just like I am. I am a unique creation of God with my own gifts and talents and I am worth knowing. I make mistakes just like anyone else and I learn from them I don't let them destroy me.

Only you can change your self perception. Nothing wrong with being shy other than it is so painful to oneself. Work on it, it will get better.

Answer 7

What you need to do is try to be yourself....the self that is comfortable in a group of 2....don't concern youself with what they think because you are their friend and they already like you!

Answer 8

stop caring what people think about you. You are shy because you are scared of what people think. If you dont care what they think then you can act like your self and you will be much happier. just do it.

Answer 9

LOOK YOU JUST GOTT BE YOU! YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE AND I WOULD THINK ITS WORTH LIVING. JUST SAY WHATS ON YOUR MIND EVEN IF IT IS CRAZY, RANDOM, OR EVEN GROSS. BUT I WOULDNT SAY ANYTHING RUDE OR MEAN TO ANY OF THE PPL IN YOUR GROUP

Answer 10

Take acting classes (or join the drama club at your school).