For as long as I can remember, I've been intrigued by other guys. I guess you could kind of call it an attraction. It didn't start out as a sexual attraction, but more like an admiration. All the guys I think I'm attracted to are the guys who have all of the qualities that I want but do not possess. I'm overweight and kind of shy. I'm wondering if my attraction to guys is really me just wanting to be like them. Most girls aren't really attracted to guys like me, so that's really never worked out. I just kinda started looking at guys, and it's kind of kept going for the last few years. I've never done anything with a guy, but keep wondering if being "attracted" to guys like this means I'm gay. Or is it just a by product of my low self esteem and poor body image?
2007-06-16 15:23:54 · 14 answers · asked by David b 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I remember being younger (early teens) and caring a lot more about what the cool boys thought of me than even the best looking girl at the school. I too had low self esteem, and a lot of boys seemed so confident. If only I could be like them, I thought. Or, almost as good, if only they thought I was cool enough to belong, to be part of their group, then maybe my gloom would go away.
For me, anyway, all of his did not mean I was/am gay. That said, I think all of us find ourselves attracted to people from both sexes for a variety of reasons, even though we might have no interest whatsoever in being sexually intimate with them.
I have no idea whether you are gay or not, but I have little reason to believe your "attraction" means that you are gay.
I would encourage you to do things that will help your low self esteem. Everything else will work itself out.
All the best.
2007-06-16 15:32:53 · answer #1 · answered by Colin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends. Have you ever got turned on by a girl during this time?
Iff you have then you are bi.
If not, then you are gay.
I remember one time when I was 10 (4 years ago), I happened to kiss a boy sort of by accident and I sort of liked it and since then I was interested into guys but I didn't think it was being gay. I thought it was something else.
Eventually, I had no interest n girls at all and I end up being gay.
It is fine. For now, I saty get used to the idea and everything and get info from people beforee you actually tell people, because some may be homophobic, while others will be better friends (mainly girls, but in my school, there are some guys).
If you want to ask anything else, let me know on IM and I will be glad to talk with you about it ^_^
I do not recommend telling your family right away, because if they are homophobic, you will have some major problems (unless they aren't homophbic)
2007-06-16 22:42:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Certainly you can admire people without necessarily being sexually attracted to them.
Our society has developed to such a point where if someone says "I think X is gorgeous', people immediately pull out the labels and get to work, without worying too much about the very complex nature of the average person!
You admire the qualities in people that you do not have? That is a very human quality. I admire the brain of Stephen Hawking, the physicist, but I don't want to be a physicist!
However, the fact that you seem to spend a fair bit of time daydreaming about men's bodies may mean you have some sexual attraction towards men.
Personally, I think most people probably have some kind of same sex sexual attraction somewhere in their makeup, but homophobia has ensured people find it difficult to explore that side of themselves easily.
When you are daydreaming about men, do you imagine yourself with the man or AS the man?
If you imagine being with your 'dream' guy, touching and being together intimately, that is a sexual type of fantasy and you have some same sex attraction.
If you imagine you ARE the perfect, buff gorgeous guy easily getting all the girls, that sounds like a hetero fantasy to me.
But why torture yourself? Instead, think about volunteering at or joining socially an organisation such as PFLAG, where there are both gay and non-gay people, make some friends of both sexes without the pressure of a sexual relationship, and see where things go ...
You'll soon have the answer to your question and you'll be making friends too!
Have fun and good luck :-)
2007-06-16 22:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by thing55000 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most men are attracted to other men occasionally just as most women are attracted to other women occasionally. Sexual preference is not black and white, there are all sorts of possibilities. Many men who described themselves as "gay" have sex with women and many men who describe themselves as "straight" have sex with men.
Societies without religious and legal proscriptions of homosexual sex do not have any problem with people being sexual beings and sleeping with whomever they choose within the rules of that society. There is no need to label anyone as anything and they don't.
Take your time. If you don't like your body image, you can do something about it. Diet and exercise would be a good start but don't worry too much. If you find you have sexual feelings towards men, fine, if you don't, also fine.
2007-06-16 22:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by tentofield 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are sexually attracted to a man, so, you are a gay! Admiration has no gender bases, it seems like you admire everything beautiful in this world, maybe inside and out!You know yourself better than others,just do the things that makes you happy as long as you won't hurt yourself and anybody!Good luck, explore your field of interest!
2007-06-16 22:38:41 · answer #5 · answered by tutax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your argument as to why you think you prefer guys to girls makes no sense to me. Does it make sense to think that most girls don't like to look at guys like you, but that most guys will? Not to me. It sounds like you're using that as an excuse. There are plenty of guys "who look like you", whatever you look like, that end up with girls, so if you really want to be with a girl, you can find one. After all, every woman has qualities that straight men don't have but want to possess- in the sense of having a female partner.
I'm gay, by the way.
2007-06-16 22:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by gehme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't sound like ur gay or even bi. it is normal to look at people of the same sex and like what you see. i'm a girl and i look at girls bodys all the time and i'm not gay. don't worry about it
2007-06-16 22:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by Kara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your gay if your atracted to men im overweight but thats not going to stop me from finding a wonferfull man of my dreams, you do the same
2007-06-16 22:28:08 · answer #8 · answered by jeffrey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is just a by product of ur low esteem and poor body image why no try to be like them and presto you will be looking for girls.
2007-06-16 22:31:57 · answer #9 · answered by amortremor 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ur not gay...ur just jealous of better looking guys....you'll find a girl sooner if u just build up ur confidence
2007-06-16 22:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋