Poem I wrote my dad for fathers day. and It is written like I am talking to him.?

Question

Who is that great man,
with calluses on his hands,
from working so hard,
to give us more than we need,
Who is that great man,
who fights off my fears,
and makes me laugh,
and stops my tears,
Who is that great man,
that loves me so much,
and has a heart of gold,
Who is that great man?
That great man is you,
My dad...

Happy Fathers Day,
I love you dad.

Love,
Kara

Answer 1

yeah... I agree with jaja... about the use of question marks and periods.... Although it didn't detract from the words of your poem, it did cross my mind... I will admit. But other than that... that was the only thing that came to mind. Everything about your poem was GREAT

I really LOVED your poem... it's so sweet and meaningful.

I actually like the repetitiveness of the "Who is that great man?" starting each stanza... having myself just finished writing one on Friday that started with "I didn't know.... "yet I knew..." "I didn't know... "yet I knew..."

Your dad will absolutely LOVE it! Thanks for sharing....

P.S. In case you already gave it before adding the punctuation, I wouldn't worry about it,... because your dad wouldn't have missed the periods and question marks. I promise you, he won't miss them.... because the words are THAT good. =)

Answer 2

It's nice. And I'm sure your dad would just LOVE to hear that from his daughter. But maybe some late night advice??

Well, your poem has punctuation.. just not correct punctuation. Where you're asking a question, you should use question marks. And maybe try to add in some periods as well. This is how I would write your poem:

Who is that great man,
with calluses on his hands,
from working so hard,
to give us more than we need?
Who is that great man,
who fights off my fears,
and makes me laugh,
and stops my tears?
Who is that great mean,
that loves me so much,
and has a heart of gold?
Just who is that great man?!
That great man is you,
My dad...

Happy Father's Day,
I love you dad.

Love,
Kara

(sorry for spelling mistakes)

But see what I mean? And maybe of constantly saying, "great man" you could try "amazing man" or "outstanding man". UNLESS you were shooting for a pattern with the repetitiveness.. then its good. If you want it to sound more mature.. maybe bigger words? BUT, poems don't always need large words.. sometimes that messes up the flow, so i think it's good now.

Once again, that's VERY sweet of you. And plz don't take my advice in a nasy way, becuz i mean it in the nicest way.

Answer 3

Perfect Kara, your Dad will love it.

Answer 4

That is so sweet. Makes me want to cry. Wish I still had my dad.

Answer 5

HEY CAN I USE THIS FOR MY DAD TO?