For those of you who have lost a loved one (friends or family)....?

Question

did u believe they were gone or were u in a state of disbelief at first?

did u cry right away or when u saw a place that reminded u of the person?

how long did it take for things 2 b back 2 normal?

was the person a kid, teen, adult?

was the death unexpected?

were u a kid, teen, or adult when it happened?

Answer 1

I am an 84 year old man who lives alone and has absolutely no family left. I am the last of my line. My wife literally dropped dead on me from a massive heart attack, and I don't think I will ever get over it. 17 years have passed since that terrible night, and it feels as though it happened yesterday.

Answer 2

Death is hard to accept period. If it was expected then the blow may not be as bad, but something like a car crash is very difficult. The state of disbelief last long in unexpected circumstances.

The lost of a child for any reason is probably the most difficulut of all deaths. I have buried a child, my father, step-mom, brother, sister, and uncle. I was a teen when my brother passed and that was tough becuase he was younger than me. I was an adult when my daughter died and I will never get over that. I just learn to live with it.

The thing is, I had different relationships with all of the people in my life so the effect of their death on me was different based on the type of relationship I had with them. But they wereall painful, just different levels of pain.

One thing I know for a fact, time heals all wounds.

Peace.

Answer 3

I all ways say it's not the death that matters, although that is bad enough, it's how you treated this person when they are with you. If you always respect them and treat them well then death( expected or sudden ) doesn't hurt as much. Treat people every day just like you would want to be treated because you never know when the next day comes around and they aren't there any more. Death is a natural state that we will all experience one day. Being helpfull, nice, and generous while friends and love ones are alive has to come from you. And doing so, will take a lot of the sting out of death when it does happen.

Answer 4

It was my grandmother who died. I was in a state of disbelief, thought maybe I was getting punked or something. I cried right away and whenever I have to go pass her old house i cry. Of course she was an adult. Yes the death was unexpected. I was a teen. Yea til this day I still don't beleive it one day it will set in. It took me about 6 months for EVERYTHING to be back to normal, because normally we went to see her everyday. Hope answered ya questions good enough.

Answer 5

My son past away 3 days before his 22nd birthday. He left for work, he was driving an old home made tanker that was not baffled, the draft from passing dump truck cause liquid to slaush, bracets broke, they say he was killed instantly. I have since prayed they were right. I would hate to think he suffered.

I was at work when the coroner called and I did not tell him it was me that answered the phone, he started telling me, well, lets say the shock was one of disbelief. Since I worked for the city dispatch for wreckers, etc. I picked up hot line to P.D. and explained about this vicious call I had recieved. About 20 agonizing minutes later my boss and her state trooper husband walked in... That is about all the clear memories I have for the next few weeks.

I have moments I see in my mind and hear events that took place around me, but just glimpses. I still dream of him, I still miss him ever so terribly much, I still cry. He died Dec. 11, 1990.

I do not believe you ever get over such a loss, but, I do know that God took my son home for what ever reason and that someday I will see him again. This I must believe with all my heart.

There was an article in Dear Abby sometime later about we are all placed here on loan. When we have touched the lives we are to touch and done what we were to do we are called home to our fathers house. Believe it or not I found solice in this article.

As for everything else, you will survive and each day, week, month, year it gets easier, but forget and not hurt, that has not come to pass for me. You see I not only lost my son that day, I lost my best friend.

I can not drive even near Ellington Field in Houston that I do not get the chills and cry. Even when not paying attention, I feel when I am close. I know that may sound wierd, but it is true. My daughter even tried to take me near there on a way I had never traveled. I started and said it felt like I was near there if I did not know better. She informed me I did not know better as we were less than a mile from the exact spot he died. So you tell me...

I hope I have answered your question. This has been difficult to put as short as possible and yet I still feel like I was ...

Have a blessed day.

Answer 6

I've seen alot of deaths, and I still remember everything. You never get back to normal, because normal has changed. You can adjust your situation and create a new normal. Mainly a teen. My grandpa past, and I'm still not over that. Then became a nurse and body baged more than my share of bodies. Even a 4 y/o little boy. I still have dreams about him. Usually you stay in denial for a week or two, then move to realization, and gradually you just learn to accept it. Hope that answers your question.

Answer 7

I found out 2 months later became conscious. Was a car accident, my ex wife just asked me to change places I was upfront right seat of car. So I moved back to sleep. It happened. Hard to cry really because I was told little by little in a hospital bed. It took some 5 years or so for things to get back to normal. I was mid 30's she was late 20's. And yes it was unexpected.

Answer 8

my mother died last year at age 64 years old unexpectedly just 5 days before my son was born. She died on jan 29, 2006 and my son was born feb 3 , 2006...I was in a total state of disbelief at first, I kept telling the doctors to do something, isn't there something else you can do i kept saying...It did not make sense to me...she went in for a simple surgery and came out a vegetable. It's as normal as it can be for me...I still miss my mother terribly and i will never get over it...I from time to time think my poor mother!!! Could the doctors have done something differently? I do what ifs if i am feeling down about her being gone. I have her picture and her obituary right on my fridge and that helps me!!! Everytime, my son tuns a month older, i constantly remember so with that, it will always be a remainder. My 9 yr oldd daughter was so close to her, as well. I lived with my mom and dad til she was 5 yrs old so she was espically close to my mother. My mother loved her dearly!!! I am glad i lived with my parents with my daughter now, it was worth it to spend time with my mother like that. I can never get that back!!! I cheerish my dad even more now cause i just never know when will be his last day here on earth...me, my daughter and my dad are going away in july so i can have quality time with my father.

Answer 9

Its been almost ten years since my grandmother died and I still can't believe it. There was a few times when I was home on leave when I picked up the phone to call her, and my mom had to remind me that she was gone.
I didn't cry at first, I remember my mom waking me up in the middle of the night telling me that she passed away. I walked out into the living room and then started to cry. The rest of that night is a blur. I was 17 when she died, and was just starting my senior year of high school.
Things never really did go back to what you would call "normal". We struggle everyday in our own way to understand why she was taken from us. My mom always goes to the cemertery to put fresh flowers on her grave, and we have a little "garden" around her side of the stone, because she loved to garden. So we planted some of her favorite flowers so she could help them grow.
The death was definitely unexpected. We had a great big family get together, all her kids were there, and the grandkids. That weekend that my aunts, uncles and cousins left to go back home, she had a stroke. We called them immediately, and my aunt pat ended up coming back home (uncle skip couldnt make it because of other issues) and stayed for a few days, then had to go back because we thought she was getting better. My mom stayed at the hospital (since at that time she worked from home, she was able to take her computer and files with her to get work done). My sister and I made her sandwiches and brought her water and stuff so she would have things to eat. They ended up mercy flighting my grandmother to another hospital because she was getting better enough to be moved. Two days later, she died.
Every day I fight to get through just because she would have wanted us to keep on living our lives. And every day its harder and harder to understand why she was taken from us. She helped raise my sister and I, there wasn't a day that went by that we weren't at her house for something. We were there every day before school, and every day after school, and sometimes mom and cass and I even stayed for dinner. She ran around with us, played with us, let us use her older dresses and stuff to play dress up in when we were growing up. She loved us, and god knows we loved her.

Answer 10

When my great grandmother died, I was a child. The death was but wasn't unexpected, she was in good health but I had a dream that she died the night before she actually did. I took me a few months to get over it. I cried right away when I found out.