I love my husband truly. 2 years back he went to another state to work since he cant get any job here. He promise to get back after 1 year but he extended to another year. He fly back back 3 to 4 mths once. I was 23 and he 30.
On the second year. I started feeling lonely,upsad and sick. I started having affair. At the end of second year my husband found out and immediately flew back, leaving his job.
I admit my mistake and let him decide. He decided not to let me go. I also decided and promise will never repeat anything.
Now he treat me very well. but he still cant trust me whenever Im not with him. I thought I should give him time. 6mths hav passed. But lately, I notice that he treating me well just bcos he's afraid dat I'll leave n pretending to love me.
V discuss dis matter n he admit dat he pretend. Wen I argue, he ask how can i have affair if I love him truly.
Wat shall I do?I dun deny my mistake but is it all mine? He should have leave me if he cant forgive and forget.
2007-06-16 14:28:19 · 12 answers · asked by shygal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why didn't you go with him to the other state where he was working? What's the point of being married if you live in separate states and rarely see one another?
Honestly, I don't really blame you. You're in your early 20's and you're supposed to live like a nun? It was bound to happen! If you keep living so far apart, I wouldn't be surprised if it happens again (maybe on his end this time).
You might need some counseling to try to rebuild trust if you both really want to make it work. Continuing the way you are, this doesn't sound like it stands a chance.
2007-06-16 14:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you have lost the trust, if is a big deal. You have to earn that trust again. He forgave you, but to forget that it did happen, is a wound that has to heal. It takes alot to be able to continue in a relationship, where the trust has been lost. Let him know, and if possibly seek marriage counseling. He should not remind you of your mistake, when you argue about other things. How long would you have needed to forgive and forget if you found out he cheated on you? Would you have left him? These are the questions only you can answer. Be at peace with yourself, for alot of people make mistakes, the real test is to learn from them, and not repeat them.
2007-06-16 14:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by Emerald 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are consequences to an affair. You expect your husband to "forget" in six months? It may take years for him to come to trust you. You have to EARN his trust and that could take Years. You have to give him as long as it takes.
He will never completely forget. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. If he forgives you that does not do away with the consequences you must pay for your serious mistake.
Why didn't you go with him when he had to take a job elsewhere? Yes, the mistake is all yours since you did not go with your husband. You are lucky he wants to try to rebuild your relationship.
Try to be patient. You will, no doubt, be glad that you were, down the road.
Good luck.
2007-06-16 15:03:38 · answer #3 · answered by moonmother2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should forgive you but never, never forget. How could you be so selfish? You truly hurt your husband. And now you want him to forget like it never happened. Take it from me, going on nine months since I discovered my husband was cheating. You will never forget and the pain is still there. I want to trust him but once the deception has been put in to play it is hard. Instead of hounding your hubby to forgive you look for ways to make it up to him.
2007-06-16 15:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa... You should just leave him. If you loved him you would not have cheated on him. If you are married you should have went with him to which ever state he went to. Stop playing with the man's emotions and leave him, before it happens again...You must not truely care for him to much if
A) you did not follow him to that state
B) would have cheated on him or even thought about it.
2007-06-17 07:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by Carolyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you have done if the shoe was on the other foot? Could you just of forgot about it in that amount of time? If he was willing to give up his job and come back I would assume he's not pretending.
2007-06-16 14:36:09 · answer #6 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what will help him trust you again, if you need to move with him then do it. If you are truely sorry for your mistake and he is willing to forgive, but needs your help in trusting you again, then he is not being unreasonable.
2007-06-16 14:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have broken his trust and have hurt him. The worst part is that you are still blaming him to not let you go.
You are an evil person and deserve to be left alone. He is just too nice and trying to keep his family together.
If I was him, I would leave you in a heartbeat.
Go away.
2007-06-16 14:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by feysunny 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you are right; since you cannot undo the mistrust...seems that he will not abe able to EVER trust you again...you and he should part ways...some men do not do well living alone..
2007-06-16 14:34:15 · answer #9 · answered by Pooks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wasting him time on you! you blew it girl.
2007-06-16 14:38:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋