I did have an affair a few years back... Despite that, my hubby is still willing to accept me and hence we remarry...
Since then, (1 year and 3 months later) I had caught him dating 4 diff women, the last one being last night.... Well, that's the number I have manage to catch him with so far, God knows how many more....
I can't help but feel that he is behaving this way cos of my wrong doings, but why remarry me and yet find comfort in other women?
Currently, we had agreed to divorce, again. Filing soon come Monday. When I caught him with his last date, he told me he wanted another shot at marriage... Why??
Serious advise please....
2007-06-16 14:07:46 · 20 answers · asked by curlyfries 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's a chance for me to test my psychic powers:
let me guess:
You cook all the meals.
You clean the house.
You do the laundry.
You do the grocery shopping.
You handle the finances.
You maintain the car.
He calls you "Mamma".....
Other than that, I haven't a clue.....
2007-06-16 16:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...The way I see it is that you two are in a very unhealthy relationship right now.
If you had an affair and he married you anyway, then what he's doing is simply getting back at you. The truth is he NEVER really forgave you....Maybe his ego said it would be better to make you suffer for a long time instead of just letting you go.
If you know he has cheated on you before- several times- and you don't like it, then why do you believe his words of wanting another shot at marriage? Talk is cheap...Believe his ACTIONS, not his WORDS !
If you two really want to work things out, you should go to therapy or counseling. But from what you wrote, it sounds to me like this is going to end in a divorce soon.
It is just a sick game you two are playing...I really hope you don't have any children...!
2007-06-16 14:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't help but wonder if he was already cheating on you when you were caught cheating on him. HE must be charismatic if you stay with him even though he constantly cheats on you and he can find women even though he is married... that ro where you live there is an abundance of stupid women with low self-esteem and if that's the case please let me know where he is finding all these easily manipulated women. Another thing could be that his catching you cheat on him once makes him feel like both it is okay for him to cheat and that he can hold that over you if you ever wisened-up and decided to leave him. Seriously, only you know why you stayed with him so long and whether you arewilling to stay with him longer. If it was me, after you cheated the first time I might not have marrried you again but I definately would have stopped after catching you a second time. Do you want this to continue or not?
2007-06-16 14:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by Don Quesadia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could be the first time he did it to pay you back, but that doesn't explain the many times after. He sounds like someone that doesn't like the confines of marriage, just the convenience. You should go ahead with the filing, it doesn't seem like there's much to salvage anyway. You'd never be able to trust him and he probably feels the same about you.
Hopefully, you both can find partners that you CAN be faithful with and if you can't...get married again, the third time could be the charm.
2007-06-16 16:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go by someone's actions, not by what they say - it sounds good to say you want to save a marriage.
Maybe, he wants to sound like a good guy, but, his actions clearly dispute that.
Maybe, he wants his cake and eat it too.
Re-marriages rarely work. One does NOT DATE when married. This guy is not marriage material for you or anyone else.
No, I don't think he is behaving like this because of your "wrong doings". He has no decency or honor.
Actually, probably neither of you should be married until you grow up and take personal inventory.
Move on - counseling would be a good thing for you - to find out why you have put up with being treated so shabbily and why you cheated.
Best wishes to you.
2007-06-16 14:31:58 · answer #5 · answered by moonmother2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money, or lack of it, is by far the strongest reason why a man will stick around in dead relationship.Because, sadly, that is what this relationship is-if he was really financially independent do you really think he would still be with you? I dont want to sound heartless but the longer you try to keep this afloat the longer it is going to take for you to recover from it.
2007-06-17 06:08:35 · answer #6 · answered by zuludawn79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently neither of you are really "marriage material". Sounds like he agrees to marry you because you won't go away or something like that. You make yourself available to him, he knows you well enough and he knows what he's getting into with you. What do you really want? That's the 500 Thousand Dollar Question.
2007-06-16 14:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You love him and have tolorance for this behavior. It works for him. As long as you put up with it, he will take advantage of you. I would get divorced and stay that way. If he forgave you for your affair, there should not be any payback, he should have moved on, or stayed divorced.
2007-06-16 14:25:45 · answer #8 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called having your cake and eating it too. he is doing this b/c you are allowing him to do it. I know you don't want to hear that - but if you truly love him and want to be married and NOT have him cheat on you - then leave him alone. Move on with your life and let him know that you won't accept his cheating ways anymore. Once he sees that you have moved on, he will "wise up" and come sniveling back - either that you will have truly moved on with your life. Either way, you win.
2007-06-16 14:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cux ur like a fall back plan for when hes done with thoes hoes.he prolly is makin u feel guilty about ur one time affair and knows that if he cheats that he can count on u to still love him
2007-06-16 14:12:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋