is this a normal attitude about crying?

Question

when i was young, and i would cry, my parents would berate me, tell me crying is a bad, i'm a weak , stupid person for doing it. they still yell at me if they ever catch me. they say, quiet down and stop that. whats wrong with you, god! it always hurts me so muc, it makes me feel like i can never be myself when i'm sad. is this a normal attitude about crying?

Answer 1

It seems to me your parents are the ones who have issues with showing strong emotion, especially negative. Do they feel the same about joy? Were you told to quiet down and calm yourself when you found something hysterically funny?
So, the thing is, who is experiencing the emotion, you or your parents? Only you know how you feel and if you feel like crying, then cry. If they do not accept you are upset and feel a need to express that emotion, then they are the ones who are suppressing themselves, not you. Some people are born into families where strong emotion is not encouraged. It is viewed as "making a show of yourself" and frowned upon. You are told to keep it together at all costs. This will often lead to depression and can lead to an inability to control your emotions or even recognize which emotion you are feeling.
So, if you feel like crying, and crying helps eleviate your sadness, then cry. If it upsets your parents, then avoid crying around them. If you need comfort while you are crying, go to a person you know will support you and comfort you. Be glad you can experience emotion and can feel...it means you are human and it means you have empathy and sympathy for the sad things in the world.
How sad for your parents.
You cannot change your parents attitudes about this issue.
But, just because they are your parents, doesn't make them right.

Answer 2

I think you know it's not a normal or healthy attitude about crying. Americans are so hung up on crying. It's not like that in other societies. What is wrong with some water running down your face during sadness or joy? I just don't begin to understand what the big issue is with it at all. It's perfectly okay to cry and you are better off for not stuffing your feelings. Sometimes it's the strong one who can cry in front of others. It takes guts not weakness, in our society.

Answer 3

Theirs isn't, you have to let some things out , and if your not blubbering all the time, They have a problem . They feel like they are making you a stronger person but they are just messing You up. Find a way of telling the one you feel would listen, that it hurts you when they do that to you. maybe you will get some space if they know what their actions are doing to you.

Answer 4

The only thing that will do is cause you to suppress your emotions, which will lead to even stronger emotions, until you break. There is nothing wrong with crying, it is extremely cathartic. A person cannot be happy all the time.

Answer 5

no my parents do that aswell ,i was always told to shut up like i was week. my friends cry at school and when they get hurt but i never do . i couldent cry for ages , even if i wanted to or tryed to.

Answer 6

no, crying is a good way to let some of the sadness out and u shouldn't be told not to cry
but its not good to cry about every little thing

Answer 7

well to feel that way after ur parents treat u that way for crying is normal. just dont listen to them. ur grown(i guess) and if u need to cry...then CRY. if thats what helps u feel better in certain situations,then they need to just learn to be OK with it.

Answer 8

No that's not normal at all. But what is normal any more?

tell your parents to shut up.

Answer 9

it's alright to cry sometimes unless you like broke a nail.

Answer 10

lt's not normal. crying sometimes makes you feel better.