I'm getting hard ons when I'm treating attractive black girls. I do not get hard ons with white girls. I'm a married OB/GYN. I have been practicing for 13 yrs and my practice is in an afluent white neighbor. So I only have 4 black patients. I have always treated white women only for 12 yrs, because 99.99% of the residents there are white. In the last year i have my first 4 black patients. I get turned on when i look at them. I'm 41 yrs. I want to refer them to other doctors because it's the right thing to do as their doctor but i fear that i may be labelled as a racist. I can not tell them the real reasons why i do not want to treat them any more...
Doctors are supposed to stop treating and refer to other doctors patients that they are attracted to. How you think i will be labelled a racist for referring them to other doctors?
2007-06-16 08:51:10 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you were a real doctor, you would know how to spell the word, "affluent"....crawl back under your rock!
2007-06-16 09:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do you think maybe its just because its a new experience? You have seen so many white woman "down there" its just the same ole' thing. Did you have any problems like this when you first started practicing? I guess the main question is are you really attracted to them or is it a purely physical reaction. Do you feel any urge to act on the attraction? I can see where you would get labeled if you refer the only 4 patients of color you have to another doctor. Try picturing your mother-in-law in her underwear~unless you have a hot mother-in-law =) or something like that to get the physical reaction to go away. By the way, another thing to think about is if you are racist or not. I'm not trying to accuse you, but it is a little odd the you refer to black woman as "B" girls in the question. This is a tough problem, I hope it works out for you and your patients. Good luck!
2007-06-16 09:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by LiLiJo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I applaud you on wanting to refer your patients to other doctors because of your attraction to them, that's the right thing to do. However, being labelled as a racist is a possibility. I'm not aware of the rules exactly as far as referring patients to other doctors because of attraction but if it is, it would be better to tell them the truth then face being labelled as a racist and losing other potential patients.
I didnt think that GYN doctors ever got hard-ons when treating patients because they see so many each day that I thought it was like nothing to them. Do black peoples vaginas look different or something?
2007-06-16 09:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by capoeirista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two considerations:
1.) You get aroused. So what? The truth of the matter is that you are a male and various things are going to arouse you no matter how "used to it" you are. In high school I had a lot of friends who participated in wrestling. Their one big complaint is that they had, um, "involuntary" arousal when going at it on the mat. They certainly were not gay--they simply had normal, natural reactions.
The question you have to ask yourself is, "does it affect how I practice medicine and take care of the gynecological needs of my patients?" If you're just getting turned on by these patients but you're able to diagnose problems and treat them as you would anyone else, I really don't see a problem.
Look at it this way: imagine if you were a lifeguard and occasionally you had to give mouth-to-mouth to some hottie or whatever. I'll be honest: I'm a married guy and I would definitely get turned on. Heck, I would be turned on just sitting on the lifeguard's chair!
That's okay. What's not okay is to act on these feelings. If you feel like you are being tempted to touch your patients inappropriately or initiate any sexual (non-medical) contact, the Hippocratic Oath obligates you to do whatever necessary--even refer them elsewhere--to avoid harming them.
2.) If you have to refer these black girls to avoid malpractice, so be it. I do find it very odd that only black girls turn you on--and nobody else. Nevertheless, you don't have to let these black patients know that you are turning them away because they are black. You can simply say that you need to refer them for whatever reason--know someone that can handle them better, etc, etc, etc.
If there is some other doctor or even someone else in your office that you can confide in, that may be best. I'm sure that other OB/GYNs have had the same feelings and problems and will be able to give you advice.
2007-06-16 09:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by YourMom 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Doctors are human like everyone else and need help too sometimes. Does your medical/professional association have any counselors that you can talk to about this? If so, it might be wise to deal with this issue head on and get to the root of it, as it has the potential to become a problem not just in your professional life, but in your personal life as well. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.
2007-06-16 10:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by Dick Jones 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in a similar situation with my therapist. He has a small practice and his partner is a lady, and he kept suggesting that I saw her, not him. I felt pissed off, because he is a much better professional that she is, until at last I figured out the reason by myself. So I just said smth like "Men find me very sexy, right?" and he sighed with relief and said "Right!"
I mean, yes, you may really be labeled as a racist, because your patients will not understand your reasons, and you absolutely can't explain your reasons - it may get even worse. They may take it as sexual advavnces. But you can take a partner to your practice, probably a female.
2007-06-16 09:00:27 · answer #6 · answered by Tusia 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know that little hammer you got to use on women's legs to test their reflexes, keep that in your pocket and when a naked black turns you on , turn your back take out that little hammer and tap that thing a couple of times kinda hard , that will stop all this hards your getting on , just keep it close by and your problem is solved. You can keep your license and keep that thing tamed down all at the same time.
2007-06-16 09:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No or at least you shouldnt be you can tell them you are slightly attractive to them and it would you have to refer them for that reason. Be honest. Im sure they wont call your wife. but you should have done this from day one and not touched them you have your self a mess and you need to be careful. You can be nice and tell them you think they should see someone else and maybe they will understand. I dont really know what to say.
2007-06-16 09:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tough luck, you should not refer. Maybe you can watch some R rated movies that appeal to you and act out a fantasy with your wife. Maybe that's all you need, just get a little freaky.
2007-06-16 08:55:57 · answer #9 · answered by jan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're normal. Even older guys get hard ons while thinking about sex with women. Its just because you are male and sexually aroused by women.
2016-04-01 00:25:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i think what you are doing is the right thing. Most people would just keep seeing them. i guess you can't contol your urges but I would not tell them why your refering them to other doctors.
2007-06-16 08:54:18 · answer #11 · answered by abstract_alao 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋