I have found that in the last year I ve been having sexual fantasizing about ONLY white guys. In my life i had never found them sexually attractive. DO you think there is something wrong with me? Do I need to see a doctor? I seriously mean this. i'm not being funny at all.
The sexual fantasies are becoming stronger & stronger & more frequent. I'm married. I fear that I may act on them with the this hot white man I work with.
I spoke to my best friend about it & she think it's my curious about a white man. My friend says i should "just do it" with work mate(he's attracted to me) to satisfy my fantasies. This is crazy but i spoke to him(my co-worker).He said when i'm ready he will sleep with me to see if he lives up to my fantasies.
These fantasies are affecting my sexual life with my husband. Am I sick? I have not yet acted on them but I'm being consumed by them...Recently it has been my co-worker in my fantasies BUT before it was different white men I meet e.g my doctor
2007-06-16 08:05:27 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing wrong with white men..But you are married...Do you love your husband? The white men in your thoughts, do they have some power or wealth like your doctor? you maybe attracted to their power and wealth than race and it maybe that most of the men you come in contact with that have wealth and power in your community are white men..think about that..
I have been there. except i'm not married but i found myself attracted to white men with money that were also good looking. I acted on my thought and it turned out to be very fun and a thrill...
2007-06-16 08:19:50 · answer #1 · answered by Life is FUn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's starting to louse up the relationship you have with your husband, and the fantasies seem to be getting worse, you might need to see a shrink, but counselling might help you, too.
Don't act on your fantasies with the co-worker - that will only open up a can of worms that you don't want to open. After the fling, everything will be awkward, and it won't be fair to any of the three of you.
I don't like the idea of telling your husband; some guys get a little freaked out by that sort of stuff, especially if the fantasies are inter-racial, but if he's understanding, and you express yourself well and make him see that you know something is wrong and you're trying to fix it, maybe he'll be cool with it. If you can do some of this counseling/appointments discreetly, I would do that in the early going, but I'd be surprised if he didn't find out. If that happens, then he should be finding out from you, not some mysterious fees for services coming to the home. Instead of fantasizing about other guys (regardless of color) turn your thoughts to how you're going to tell him when the time comes. Best of luck to you, C.
2007-06-16 08:18:37 · answer #2 · answered by Bill F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no! The only thing that you could do by acting on that fantasy is wreck the real one you are living in your marriage. Think of all that you and your husband have been through together. What have you and your white fantasy got. It is all Platonic. I think that fantasy can be a healthy thing, but do not wreck the life you have for one night of sexual pleasure. It is not worth it. Even if your husband never finds out, it is a burden that you will carry the rest of your life. If your "friend" is saying that you should do it, I would consider well if she has your best interest in mind. Take it from one who knows. You will throw it all away if you do this. If you have a health relationship with your spouse, talk with him about what you have been feeling. He will validate you and you will work through this. Good Luck!
2007-06-16 08:16:53 · answer #3 · answered by Long Shot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are sick or unwell. I am white and I fantasize about men with darker skin. I believe this is because its natures way of creating a healthy off spring (because the genes are so different). It sounds to me that you should concentrate on getting your relationship sorted with your husband. If you don't fancy your husband any more you should end it anyway regardless of these fantasies.
As I say, I am white and I used to go out with a white man. Then one day this gorgeous dark man came into my life and I realized that I never felt this strong attraction with the white guy so I had to end the relationship. Five years on I am still with that hunky dark man and we are getting married in six months. The attraction is too strong to deny.
If you do sleep with this white man and it feels wrong at least you can move on (to another white guy, only joking!). Seriously you can't continue with your marriage feeling like this.
2007-06-16 08:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by Gaia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with thinking of him. Fantasies are not a bad thing. They can allow us to act out things in our mind we'd never do in our real lives. However, you are married and any movement you make to create this fantasy in real life is adultery and will put you in a bad position. Sleeping with folks from work just escalates a bad decision into a potential unemployment situation. I'm not sure if you need marital therapy but you need to talk to someone about what is going on with you now.
2007-06-16 08:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that there is nothing wrong with fantasies. work on things with your husband. and leave the co worker alone but he is only going to cause problems in your marriage because if knows you married he obviously doesn't care. just think of your fantasies only when you need a little extra excitement to get you over the edge with your husband.
2007-06-16 09:18:11 · answer #6 · answered by kri-shell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the husband is not cutting it!! Maybe your marriage is on the rocks and to avoid thinking about that your mind switches to other men (regardless of the color).
Before you go and do something really stupid think about the damage this will have on you in the long run. Being color-curious in it's self is no big deal using it to avoid the real problem is.
2007-06-16 08:14:32 · answer #7 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are NOT sick because you are thinking of white men> You may though need to see a counclor because you are married and thinking of men. I understand the men you are thinking of are white. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man outside your race. What is wrong is that you are married.
Do not sleep with your co worker at all because you just might like what he does to you and it might cause problems in your marriage.
2007-06-16 08:09:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I glad to hear that black girl fantasize about White men..The problem on your hand is your marriage...
Let them be just thoughts. if you have problems in your marriage try to work on them. If you can't work things out, first divorce your husband only after trying to work things out then date a white man and act out with him whatever was in your fantasies. Until then be a good wife... good luck
2007-06-16 08:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What she said that you could be curious is true. But since your married, I wouldn't act on them. Unless your willing to lose your marriage. Over something that is not guaranteed to turn out well. What if you take the risk and are disappointed? You have lost all for nothing.
2007-06-16 08:12:40 · answer #10 · answered by Sunset 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋