One of my girlfriends at work, she's been married for almost a year now. He pursued her so romantically while they were dating and for the few few months of their marriage. He was too good to be true almost.
These past few months her husband has been verbally abusive to her, calling her names. After a bit he even started accusing her and her family and friends of improper behavior, such as hiding things, lying and cheating. About a month ago he started saying that he regretted marrying her and accusing her of tricking him into marriage (no she wasn't pregnant). His latest "deal" is trying to get her to sign a "post-nup", and claiming that she agreed to sign a "pre-nup" before the marriage agreeing that if the marriage doesn't work out, she walks with nothing.
We think her husband has another woman, but she says although his business keeps him out late and he has complete autonomy as to his whereabouts all day long, she thinks he's faithful.
What do you think????
2007-06-16 06:42:24 · 19 answers · asked by Chikadee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At this point it doesn't matter why. The fact is that this clown sounds like a jerk and she should get out while the getting is good.
Really, what is she holding on to? If she leaves, which part will she miss the most; the verbal abuse, the name calling or the unfounded accusations. Is she staying for money or material possessions? If so, then I would not sign anything. However, if he's like this now, think of how worse it could get if she decided to stick around for the sake of a few dollars and material possessions. I say GET OUT FAST.
Personally, I would chalk this one up as a learning lesson as well as a done deal and I would haul my "you-know-what" away from this clown so fast that he would not even remember that I was there.
If he is seeing someone else, then let him be "her" headache. It doesn't seem like much to fight for anyway. Besides, if he's verbally abusive now, it's just a matter of time before it goes further. GET OUT NOW.!!!
2007-06-16 07:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by browneyz129 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi:
Maybe he is cheating or not, that really doesn't matter at this point. For her physical and emotional safety, she needs to leave that marriage. He is abusive and it is increasing as time goes on and who knows when it will stop.
Could it be the "Thrill of the chase"? The courting the wooing, wining and dining, the excitement, then the catch, (how thrilling) but then the thrill is gone, the game of chase is complete and he won the prize. Now what? Not enough? The he begins another game of chase?
Please, for her safety, have her read these answers. Her health and safety now and in the future is on the line. I have been in an abusive marriage (see my profile) and the damage is severe, at times I think unrepairable. I can't express enough how much to me it seems she is in danger (emotional, physical or other wise.).
I will keep her in my prayers.
Please Be Safe and Be Well
2007-06-16 07:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could be cheating but the personality change is kinda sudden, sounds like maybe there might be some mental instability going on. A friend of mine was in a great 10 year relationship when her husband started acting very strange, accusing her of all kinds of things, she left him when she could take no more. Several months later he had a car accident and was taken to the hospital where they discovered he had a brain tumor, they can't remove it now because its too big but if they would have found it sooner maybe something could have been done. I don't think you should jump to conclusions that he is cheating it could be something else.
2007-06-16 06:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by Girly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I'd get a private detective to follow him and document what he is doing. Then she will know for sure if he has another woman or what's going on.
There are movies made from this type of behavior. Men or women can be the aggressor, in this case, it's the husband. No one should be abused...period. There is something wrong with him. She needs to get out of that marriage. His behavior sounds like it is intensifying.
In alot of circumstance it is worthwhile to get counseling, but from what you've said, I would bet this situation gets worse. Get a private detective, get proof and get out while she's not physically or mentally harmed.
2007-06-16 06:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey in case you have already got information he's cheating ("So i think of my bf is cheating doing the internet subject I do have information, yet he hides his "cookies" temp documents that would hint what you're doing on line.. ") why might you decide on for to proceed torturing your self searching for further information? in simple terms kick him to the diminish noone merits to be cheated on. i comprehend its much less complicated stated than finished with the aid of fact i'm particular you like him, yet love your self extra. No guy is ever particularly worth your tears.
2016-11-25 00:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he might be seeing someone else. But it kinda depends on what he's saying to herr when he comes home late. If he has an excuse like "Oh, no, I was just working. Like get off my case or something." then, he's probably cheating. But it he says is kind of sincerely and is fine with her digging deeper about it than I think he's faithful. But she obviously knows him a lot better than other people. So, maybe her judgement is best...
2007-06-16 06:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by Grascer :] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is happening here but not exactly sure what it is. The nuptials are a waste of time a they dont hold upin court so her not getting nothing is wrong so when se has had enough she could file for divorce and sue him for everything shes legally entitled to regardless of a nuptial
2007-06-16 06:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Faithful or not she isn't being treated with respect. I know its always hard to accept the hardest outcome, but it's just not healthy for your friend. She just needs to sit down and have a talk with her husband, and whatever she does make sure she does NOT sign that agreement.
2007-06-16 06:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's told her he regrets marrying her. Why would she still be there. Of course there's someone else. He's trying to hold on to what he has, instead of giving her half when he files for divorce. What's wrong with your friend? Why is she tolerating this, and why does she believe him?
2007-06-16 06:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think whether or not he has another woman is irrelevant. She SHOULD NOT sign a post-nup and she needs to not allow him to bully her.
2007-06-16 06:48:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋