I have been married 11 years. There are days I want to choke my hubby and days that I love him to death and hate myself for thinking that way. He loves me too much, I know that may sound nuts, but he smothers me. Not in a controlling way, but he just is to lovey. We have great communication, but I could think of 10 ways I would like to change him, and he gives me no feedback that is helpful. He just says he loves me no matter what. I feel like we are getting stale, but I dont know if I am falling out of love, or is this normal after 11 years ?? Or is they something wrong with me. I know I made it sound like hes a saint, but hes not, a good hubby yes, but still has is down falls. I just feel like were friends, not lovers, and I dont mean all sex either.... please help.
2007-06-16 06:22:23 · 7 answers · asked by How can I help? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just need a fresher perspective. By all accounts he's a decent guy (and the world is full of guys who aren't), so what does that tell you? The most wonderful person in the world is going to get on your nerves from time to time in the span of 11 years...no doubt you've pissed him off a time or two as well. But the bigger picture is that you're both building something that's enduring...past the seven year itch, past the honeymoon phase, and past all manner of calamities...and remains standing to this day. National divorce statistics give marriages no better than 50/50 odds of surviving the first five years, and here you stand 11 years out. Look around you and see how many wives feel neglected, taken for granted, and forgotten by this time in a marriage then tell me again how "your husband loves you too much". Doesn't really add up, does it? Maybe you should communicate this to him, but then again maybe not. You really ought not fix something that's not broken unless you're sure (damned sure) you know what you're doing. Good luck to you.
2007-06-16 06:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is normal situation, you have a great marriage, if after 11 years you still do not hate each other and you still Friends, this is a most important part this is love. And if lovers part cool down, you have to put some new woods to the fire,read some books, take some classes or put some question on web. Just do not let this fire dye. You are Lucky girl! Just do not loosed.
2007-06-16 06:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by reality 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm now not certain this relatively works as an both/or. Both are matters that may be expanded on. Are we assuming that it real is one or the opposite with out a wish of constructing the wedding or the intercourse higher? How unhealthy is a nasty marriage? Like dishonest, a whole loss of believe, and nil appreciate for each and every different? Or are we simply speakme a loss of shared pursuits and common apathy external the bed room?
2016-09-05 18:22:22 · answer #3 · answered by cinnante 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some professional counseling for your marriage. Also get a risky book like Laura Corn's 101 Grrreat Night of Romance (sex, ect).
2007-06-16 07:55:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Ed 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have great communication with him? But you can't talk to him about this?
2007-06-16 06:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have to ask, my guess is it's bad.
2007-06-16 06:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by sammie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you think it's bad, then it's bad.
2007-06-16 06:27:30 · answer #7 · answered by Kaylee. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋