OK I think i help out alot around the house and my wife thinks all man do the same if not more who is nuts.?

Question

I do the food shopping we share the cooking I do the lawn take care of pool, wash cars, take care of cat, and any other manual labor around house. I work full time she works 18 hours a week we have to kids.
She Try's to keep house clean, thats all I can ask.
today i made my son (6 years old) tuna for lunch, he asked for more i ran in and made it know problem. I asked my wife do you think most man would jump like that and she said of course. I disagree.

I work with heavy equipment all day and do alot of manual lifting at work

Answer 1

She has no idea. None.

Answer 2

Your case sounds a little bit like my sister and brother-in-law.
You do the grocery shopping where he does not but he works 12 hrs a day sometimes more.
My sister works about 18-20 hrs a week (at a job that pays your for her work). Then she runs the rest of their lives much like your own wife. Which includes four million tasks to do with the children. All the little things that just get them ready for school, all the things Moms do when they help out at school, all the programs and activities after school and during Summer break, and a hundred other things like teacher appreciation Week and conference meetings, and field trips, the list goes on. Then there is the rest of the house and if you have any pets you may as well add them on as an extra child. There's the laundry- 3-4 hrs a week, the house work (and I am/was a professional housekeeper so I am fast and organized) figure 45 min. per room an hour for kitchen and bath. These are cleaned and polished times for a pro. . .now you see why all theses things aren't done as regularly as you may think they could be. Then you have the cooking. Sweety, unless you cook all three meals every other day you don't do 1/2 the cooking saying, "we share the cooking", implies you feel you do about 1/2 of it.
And hun, tuna for a kid which probably has no onion or celery or anything besides tuna and mayo is hardly baked Alaska or lasagna. God I laughed when I read that. Any father who's not a complete idiot would make more if the kid says I'm still hungry.
Long story short Moms who work partime outside the house actually put in about a 60 hrs a week. Wife and mother is easily 40+ hrs a week. Because they don't get paid for it the work is often undervalued and underestimated in relation to labor.
I know you work hard at your job but trust me it is a lot less dynamic than hers. And until you've played Mr. Mom for 2-3 months so you can truly recognized the work load and stress level you never really be able to appreciate what she does or how well she actually does it.
Just try to remember that working with people you are not 100% emotionally invested in is a lot easier than those who are most important in the world to you.
So good luck but I don't think your going to win that bet.

Answer 3

Wow sounds like my ex-wife. Let me say that my ex-wife was always making comments like that, following it up with “Do you really think you’re that special? Any guy would do the same if not more!” I felt insulted by her lack of acknowledgement as to my efforts. Yes I wanted a kind word a “thanks for the help honey” on occasion but those words just stuck in her throat. She choked down kind words by making statements like “I do just as much, what makes you so special?” The issue isn’t who did or does more but why don’t we appreciate each other’s efforts. If you are having to say “look see how good I am” its probably because she doesn’t appreciate you and the thing you do. Well needless to say we have been divorced almost 4 years, after being married almost 16 years with three kids, and I discovered that I was different in some ways and in some ways I wasn’t. The true tell tale sign is that aside from dealing with an angry ex and tring to give my Kids a stable home my life is relatively unchanged as far as my work load. I still have two jobs take care of the dogs, feed the kids, do school projects and work around the house, I just do it in peace. She on the other hand has to work two jobs (she was a stay home mom while we were married and we even had a housekeeper because we use to fight when the house wasn’t clean) She has do all the work around the house and solve what ever issue comes up and do everything else on her own with out my help. I have had several different relationship, two that have lasted over a year (currently still in one 1 year 10 months), she tells her best friend and her best friend’s husband and I are still close so he tells me that she is still without a relationship and complains that they aren’t any good guys left that they are all either married or involved. So there it is how common was I, the grass is always greener.

Answer 4

No most men don't do all that. Keeping house is hard work, many men don't realize that. However, with only two kids (we have 5) and her only working 18 hours per week she has time to do more than just keep the house clean. she should do the shoping, or you should do it together. After working full time yoyu should want to help with supper,not have to help with supper. If you are a real man, trying to keep the house clean is not "all you can ask". You can ask that she pull her own weight and share the load equally. You are supposed to be partners working together. Why were you jumping for the sons lunch, what was she doing? If she was busy then yes a man should get the son food, but if you were busy with the manual labor work then she should have done it, partners in a marriage should both "jump" to do whatever is needed.
WE do not know the full situation there, but I get a sense that you are starting to feel less as a partner and more as a employee in your own home.
Partners wok together and stay, employees leave when they feel the are being taken for granted. Men don't like to become servants. Also Most men don't jump.

Answer 5

Dude, please tell me you don't actually believe that you not watching the game will have anything to do with them losing? How many games have you watched that they lost? The logic you use would make me think that every game you watched for the last 12 years they won. As far as you wife and your date, you need to find a compromise. Go out with her to dinner before game time, then when you go out after, go somewhere the game will be on, like a sports bar or a lounge. If you can pull that off, then suggest a double date with another couple, that way, when you and the other guy watch the game, the two ladies can talk and entertain each other without caring if you are watching the game. You know if two women are within 10 feet of each other they won't shut up all night gabbing. That's what I would do anyway, and I been married for 19 years.

Answer 6

To be completely honest... I don't think it matters if most men would be like that or not. That's not what matters. What matters is that you both are working together to have a happy home. You both have your own responsibilites and care for each other. You both are aware of what the other needs and when they may need a break. That is what makes a marriage work. Not comparing yourself to other couples. She may have grown up in a home where her dad was the ultimate caregiver? She may have had other realationships where the man played a big part in helping her physically? She may just want to make you think that you are not doing enough? Who knows... But as I had mentioned before... that's not the important thing. I've noticed in my own marriage, that when we start to compare ourselves to other married couples, feelings get hurt. So we just stick to our own... and do what works for us. It's nice of you to help around the house. I think another important part of a marriage is saying "thank you." It doesn't take much to say it, and it can go such a long way. So remember to thank her, and she should thank you as well. For anything and everything and the out of the ordinary things.

Answer 7

I'm sorry I would have to agree with her if she is mainly a stay at home mom then you have no idea what a normal day for her consists of. You at work probably a office job and she is cleaning making lucjhes doing laundry washing dishes and figuring out what to make for dinner running errands paying bills, and talking to people on the phone like annoying telemarketers. You must come to the relization that marriage is 24/7 days a week compromising. Yeah you made a sandwich that is what parents do when raising kids grow-up and stop your whining please. You wanted the kids and she spent the nine months times 2 to give them to you so the least you can do is just shut-up and help out.

God Bless and Best Wishes.

Answer 8

i know it feels like it my friend, but there are some guys who'll do it... are we a rare breed... i'd like to think so... but try not to make it as if you are special, because once that mentality kicks in, it's going to be a lot harder on you mentally, and probably put a little strain with you and your wife... roles are changing for fathers now a days, just remember that you are you, and that you are not doing the things you do for praise, but you do it for the love of family... keep up the good work man.

Answer 9

Your right most men would not ! Im male and thiink your an exceptional person. I do a lot around house to and if my children liked the way I cooked I would be thrilled to do anything for them.

Answer 10

Yeah I take care of the house...keep it clean...we have two daughters and its me that bathes them, feeds them, do the laundry, bills, clean out the cars...he has to work and take care of the lawn and feed and water the dog....unless he is out of town I have to feed and water the dog.

Answer 11

No most men are not like you. She is nuts. If what you say you do is the truth. I think you a very good husband. She should be proud of you.